Re: I hate sex, seriously.Need new perspective
So, he was a virgin and you'd been sexually assaulted but never had consensual sex before you married? Honey, I suspect a large part of your problems are due to your size, his chest hump, and the fact that neither of you really know what the hell you're doing.
Joint pain from an accident is terrible. Joint pain from an accident while carrying extra weight is downright torturous. Have you done any serious work on diet, nutrition, and exercise tailored to your specific abilities? Losing weight will take the pressure off your joints, allow for easier movement, your energy levels and physical ability will increase over time. This would open up possibilities in terms of movement and positioning during intimacy and will make you feel better all the way around, which may lead to you desiring intimacy. Losing weight will also help your cardiovascular system and make breathing easier. As an asthmatic myself, your asthma doesn't sound well controlled and you might want to consider speaking with the doctor about that. If necessary, get a 2nd opinion.
I think you should also seek the help of a marriage counselor who specializes in sexual dysfunction or a certified sex therapist. Neither of you seem to have healthy attitudes toward sex. Sex is such an integral part of marriage and designed by God to maintain the bond between spouses. You two need to fix this if you're unwilling to divorce.
Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.