Originally Posted by 2kwik4u
I agree with all of the suggestions on here and have read into the alpha male issue. The only problem I see is that she has had an abusive past with a previous man and I don't wanna go all alpha male on her and it bring back bad memories. I want what is good for both of us and not just to boost my ego. Hope this doesn't offend anyone.
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Well, labels don't hold much weight with me.
But, "alpha" should not mean that you become an aggressive, overbearing jerk who could care less about those around him.
Think, instead, of a cool, competent person, who is a leader, who you respect. That is what you want to be.
Would they be indecisive? Or competently make decisions?
Would they run roughshod over other's opinions? Or would they consider all angles and do what's best for all and not just themself?
Would they be quick to anger? Or would they be calm, cool, and collected?
Would they expect someone would 'owe' them something simply because of doing a good deed? Or would they do good deeds freely without expectation?
Would they allow someone to trample over their self-respect? Or would they calmly and confidently set and enforce their own personal boundaries?
Be a man who can answer YES to the second set of questions.
You can be a man who is both assertive and decisive when need be, and tender when need be, and considerate - all without having to give up your own self-respect or your own self-worth. THAT is the kind of man you should be modeling.