Auzzie

OK, so IM going from my own experience here. Ive faked all my married life I take full responsibility for it. My trust in men was broken in my childhood, and I dont know how to trust my husband in that department. Im reaching 40 now, and its like my body is taking over and finally wants to share an orgasm with my husband...YAY!!

BUT!...here is the dilemma

My hubby cums very, very quickley. and once he's done...thats it. Ive tried to talk with him in a positive understanding way...he isnt overweight, generally fit ....and he apologises and always promises to last longer next time. He says that all the time...and now im wondering what to do next.

How hasnt he picked up on me faking all these years? I know when I have an orgasm my vagina contracts quickley four or five time in succession and Ive never done this with H.

Well....I hope thats what an orgasm isIm kinda new to them...had my first solo and first ever at age 32...and it was an accidental one. Id been sleeping and awoke to it.

To say I was amazed and relieved is an understatement, because I truley thought I was broken in that department due to sexual molestation throughout my childhood.

Im just getting started as he is finishing...and its damn frustrating!!! What do I do TAM??

nicky1

your husband needs to take some advice from joey jay(sexgodplueprint) and learn some techniques that will make him last much longer, google and have a look at his video, it is not porn at all, and his motive is to help men who just dont know how to control their bodies when making love, and how to give their partners orgasms, is worth watching

Auzzie

awesome thank you. Im off to Google!!...only problem is...how do I ask him to look at it? Oh LOOK what I accidentally found?

nicky1

best advice learn this yourself and then slowly teach him by suggestion, is not hard and it really works, i think after all techniques are practised for a few weeks the bedroom will be both of your favouite place

hehasmyheart

He needs to be doing some clitoral stimulation and learn how to multitask a little.

Auzzie

Do guys know fake from real? Or do they assume they know? Do guys just go from the sounds you make? The movie ''When Harry met Sally'' always comes to my mind.

nicky1

this depends on if the guy is focused on you or himself, if he is focused on you you wont be able to fake it, if you can then he is focused on his parts, maybe the reason women fake it is to give the man some self esteem in the bedroom, but then it is hard to actually address the problem of him not knowing how to love you the way you need to be.

dymo

Maybe he just trusts his wife. Takes what you tell him face value. You fake it, and he believes you.

Also, he's only going to be able to tell you're faking if he's genuinely brought a woman to orgasm before. Otherwise, what is there to compare it to?

chillymorn

I would start off by telling him now that your older your sex drive has kicked into overdrive. and you have actually masterbated for the first time. and your amazed at how it feels and you would like him to give you some extra forplay and expirment with different kinds of stimulation.

you could say my orgasms are much stronger with manual stimulation than straight sex. make it fun and exciting ask him to show you how he masterbates and you show him how you like to masterbate.

be open about it and enjoy.

Scannerguard

OMG. . .whatever you do, don't have him watch a porn.

Porn is evil, evil, evil.

(sorry. . .had to get my editorial in there )

Seriously, does he ever watch a porn? Does he see that the "hero" of the story lasts for like at least 30 minutes in the "heroine?"

Now. . .that of course is unrealistic and SHOULD be unnecessary but I venture to say any discerning guy who's watched a vanilla porn should be able to deduce:

"Hey, I guess I have to last longer than 90 seconds, that it's not just my seed that makes her satisfied."

Except on a Sat. a.m. at 6 a.m. . .then 90 seconds is fine

__________________
And maybe I seem a bit confused. . .but maybe, I got you pegged! Ha! Don't know what to do about those tossed salad and scrambled eggs. . .they're posting again. Scannerguard has left the building.

Enchantment

Hi Auzzie ~

Perhaps your husband has never experienced having a woman really orgasm, so he assumes that what you are doing is it. Or perhaps he is too self-centered to take the time to care about finding out about yours - or he's too self-conscious because he ejaculates prematurely.

The best thing would be to do some extended foreplay with your husband, where you can help show him how to stimulate you properly. Believe me, if you have an O while he watches, or you have an O while he is inside of you, he should be able to to tell - not just from the sounds, grimacing, and muscles clenching, but he should be able to feel the contractions if he's inside too - at least my H can.

If he refuses to do more foreplay, then start to take matters in to your own hands - literally. During intercourse, stimulate yourself. Or try a position, such as spooning with him entering from rear, where you can grab his hand and guide him on how to stimulate you.

Best wishes.

__________________

Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

Mistys dad

Self centered? Refuses foreplay? Self consious?

Where did you read that?

She is lying to him and telling him that she is having orgasms. Why would he change up something he thinks is making her happy. Thinks it, because thats what she shows and tells him.

Auzzie-The first thing you need to do is be honest. Nothing will change until you take responsibility for your own pleasure.

Then you can help him understand what you need.

cruiser

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mikeydread1982

I always tell women, you're an idiot for faking because you're only short changing yourself. Why should the guy feel bad if he thinks he's wowing her? People I tell you, smh. Anyway, don't tell him you've been faking all these years, that'll just ruin everything. What you do is be honest from now on, just say you need more time to get yours. Do you do the faking when you know he's about to get off or well before? Either way, stop it. I faked an O once (condom+I take forever), it was to make the cramps from an hour of pounding go away, but when she found out, it destroyed her, and that was ONCE. So watch the approach and maybe you may need to learn how get yours sonner as well.

cruiser

I would think the first thing you need to tell him is that all these years you've been faking it. He thinks he's been doing the right things all this time so why should he change now. Once he's aware that he hasn't ever given you an orgasm then you can work with him.
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