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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » How would you classify your sex?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 02-02-2012, 01:09 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Default Re: How would you classify your sex?

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Originally Posted by Freak On a Leash View Post
Well, at least you get some. I guess. Sounds awful but what I have is awful too.

My husband told me that "I expect too much" and am "too much effort". Nice. Better to be by myself than have someone watching a clock saying "Are you there yet?"
Sorry to hear that. I hope things get better. My wife can't wait til I'm done
. I wrote about how a normal session between us is in ""what is sex" I guess yours is similar even though you are female. That really sucks.
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Old 02-02-2012, 02:34 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Default Re: How would you classify your sex?

Quickies 15%- Like hurry up before work or the kids get up.
Romantic 65%- Movies, Drinks, Kissing, Foreplay, etc
Wild 20%- Same as romantic just add toys her lead.


I'm grateful, but have alot to learn. We've been together for almost 20 years and it's getting harder and harder to keep it
SPICY!!

When I talk to coworkers they laugh and say "Just wait and see what it is like in 10 more years or 20....lol lol"

I'm not enjoying the aging process much
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Old 02-03-2012, 12:19 AM   #63 (permalink)
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Quickie: About 83% of the time
Romantic sex: about 14% of the time
Wildly passionate sex: about 3% of the time.
And as you might guess this is becoming a problem for me. My hubby and I dated for about ten years and have been married for 6 years. Up until about 3 years ago we didnít have any issues. My drive was low and he could go for hours. Now my drive is through the roof and he lasts 5 minutes. Weíve talked and even went the Viagra route but as you may have heard Viagra is expensive and kind of kills the spontaneity we both enjoy. I am at a loss and can only hope menopause happens soon so my drive will lessen and we will once again be on the same page sexually.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:23 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Default Re: How would you classify your sex?

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Originally Posted by lovinmyhubby223 View Post
Quickie: About 83% of the time
Romantic sex: about 14% of the time
Wildly passionate sex: about 3% of the time.
And as you might guess this is becoming a problem for me. My hubby and I dated for about ten years and have been married for 6 years. Up until about 3 years ago we didnít have any issues. My drive was low and he could go for hours. Now my drive is through the roof and he lasts 5 minutes. Weíve talked and even went the Viagra route but as you may have heard Viagra is expensive and kind of kills the spontaneity we both enjoy. I am at a loss and can only hope menopause happens soon so my drive will lessen and we will once again be on the same page sexually.
Curios and comparing anecdotes from others here ... how old are you, or how old were you when your drive went through the roof?
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:01 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Curios and comparing anecdotes from others here ... how old are you, or how old were you when your drive went through the roof?
I am 42 and my hubby is 48. The quickies started about 3 years ago and my drive has escalated over about the last year.
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Old 02-04-2012, 01:24 AM   #66 (permalink)
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Default Re: How would you classify your sex?

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I am 42 and my hubby is 48. The quickies started about 3 years ago and my drive has escalated over about the last year.
The age where your drive escalated is pretty consistent with the anecdotes from the other ladies I've read who have talked about an escalation. There definitely must be something about the 40's.
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Old 02-04-2012, 06:02 AM   #67 (permalink)
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Default Re: How would you classify your sex?

Quickie: 0%
Madly passionate: 5%
Same old thing each time: 95%

Yes, it's depressing to even type that. That's why I joined this site.
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:42 AM   #68 (permalink)
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The age where your drive escalated is pretty consistent with the anecdotes from the other ladies I've read who have talked about an escalation. There definitely must be something about the 40's.
And isnít that a shame because itís around that same time (late 40ís and 50ís) that men start having issues that cause their drive to decrease. I do understand whatís happening from a womanís point of view though. Its natures last ditch effort to insure that we procreate. Since most women start menopause in their late 40ís to 50ís.
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Old 02-04-2012, 11:01 AM   #69 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lovinmyhubby223 View Post
Quickie: About 83% of the time
Romantic sex: about 14% of the time
Wildly passionate sex: about 3% of the time.
And as you might guess this is becoming a problem for me. My hubby and I dated for about ten years and have been married for 6 years. Up until about 3 years ago we didnít have any issues. My drive was low and he could go for hours. Now my drive is through the roof and he lasts 5 minutes. Weíve talked and even went the Viagra route but as you may have heard Viagra is expensive and kind of kills the spontaneity we both enjoy. I am at a loss and can only hope menopause happens soon so my drive will lessen and we will once again be on the same page sexually.
Look into some other options, like low dose Cialis. It won't help with the cost (although you can order from overseas), but it should help with the spontaneity.

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Old 02-04-2012, 11:08 AM   #70 (permalink)
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Default Re: How would you classify your sex?

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Originally Posted by lovinmyhubby223 View Post
And isn’t that a shame because it’s around that same time (late 40’s and 50’s) that men start having issues that cause their drive to decrease. I do understand what’s happening from a woman’s point of view though. Its natures last ditch effort to insure that we procreate. Since most women start menopause in their late 40’s to 50’s.
I have been more vocal on how this has affected ME personally than likely any woman who graced this forum, I know completely what they mean about that COUGAR stage... I've never watched that Cougartown show, but I know I would be completely amused by it .

When this came upon me.... all I could think is damn... what a cruel Joke this is.... my husband is slowing down and I was just getting started !!! I was very disturbed by this, I did NOT LIKE his sex drive being lower than mine!

I am sure glad he didn't take some of the stuff that came out of my mouth personal during that time..... I was just trying to express HOW this was affecting me, my brain, my desires.... I suddenly wanted to go back in time something terrible....I was so angry I didn't take advantage of all those wonderul erections when they were so plentiful & easy to be had. I took them all for granted for so many years. I want to scream to all the young women....don't do that !!

I even told him I could take on 3 men during that time !! He couldn't keep up with me, but he sure tried ! Love him for that, he made the transition for me really enjoyable ....I count it as some of the happiest times we have ever experienced together, even if I was a bit frustrated at times.

I read a # of books on Hormones, they play a huge role in these things , they almost have us by the balls... this was my absolute favorite one...

Amazon.com: The Alchemy of Love and Lust (9780671004446): Theresa L. Crenshaw: Books

IT explained in detail why women in thier late 30's- early 40's are best sexually matched with younger men -early 20's -- both are in their prime sexually .... Just as younger women (who aren't ragingly lustful generally) are better sexually matched with older men in their 40's -50's -cause they are slowing down...

...... But we can not allow our hormones to define us ...when married ...we need to diligently work through this.... Obviously those other scenerios are a train wreck - with younger women who marry a man 20 yrs older...then when her sex drive goes through the roof in her 40's - he'll be 60, and she will be going out of her living mind wanting someone who can keep up with the passion & lust that she is feeling.

It doesn't seem to happen to all women though, as many men seem to say on this forum, I think Drugs interfere with much of this.

I found this explained on the net one time about this phenomenon >>>
Quote:
Balance the seesaw. When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.

Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive
.

Last edited by SimplyAmorous; 02-04-2012 at 11:14 AM.
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