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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-30-2012, 12:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

I like the paradox characterization: sex seems less urgent to those who are assured of it. However, I would not say that it dies at all. In mt experience, I find that though frequency declines the intensity is better as well as the openness of partners to more kinky behaviour


I find that relationships like my own identity is best when I pay attention to all facets, not simply just one. That being said, for my wife it seems liker her libido gets stronger the more sex she gets

My question is: are you both largely happy?
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Old 01-30-2012, 12:15 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

I disagree, for me personally as woman. Having sex means wanting more sex, the less women have it, the less they desire it, and the reverse is true as well.


---I dont disagree as such , but partly...for in the first aspect,Thats not a Paradox in Sex, its simply the normal Libido..yet, this happens since the Sex was never complete in its Satiation,....but the Extreme of it is Unhealthy ...thus wanting for more can result in Sexual Dis satisfactions and further troubled Sexual Appetites...

and .those who dont get much sex,though seemingly or otherwise less with desire, paradoxically craves it deeply...and it can erupt at any time, like a Dormant Vulcano and thats pretty Unhealthy...and detrimental in the consequent aftermaths..

Ponder...Deduct...Infer

Last edited by Claude Veritas; 01-30-2012 at 12:28 PM.
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Old 01-31-2012, 03:14 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

I would have to say over all, we are definatly both happy. We do things together we never could have dreamed of. We work together well, share goals and dreams and sucesses. And the failers as well. Everythng we have, we owe to each other. But sex have definatly taken a severe down turn. We have talked about our issues but nothing eventuates. Just same old same old. On the weekend, she said I think we'll have sex tonight and I just froze.
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Old 01-31-2012, 02:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diolay View Post
"I agree that sex does get better over time"

Im not sure I agree with that entirly. For some it might and logically, you would thnk it true but I gues the human factor needs to be taken into account. I see for many couples, mine too, that sex appears to dimish as they progres deeper into their relationship. Sex begins to take a back seat and as a result, gets pushed down furhter and further on the to do list. Eventually, it gets taken off the list altogether. Long after dishes. Life itself takes over and our sex life, which is a different life to our normal lives disappears into the sunset. Eventually, never to be seen again.

That appears to be a more normal married life.
That is why a couple MUST keep their sex life a priority. I know that life can become the "tyranny of the urgent" and it takes work to keep your relationship primary. For our 39 plus years we have had a date nights, took time away from our kids for a romantic get away, got counseling when needed etc. We had a baby 5 months after we were married at 16 and 17...we HAD to work at it or fail. Now, the kids are gone (for about 15 years) and we are having the best sex of our lives. My wife does not refuse unless she can't keep her eyes open and last night, although she was exhausted, we had a quickie. Her orgasm was AMAZING (mine too). Sometimes you do it when you don't feel like it and the results are outstanding!!!
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
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Old 01-31-2012, 03:18 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

.......Imagination.......
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Old 02-02-2012, 02:36 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhsssssssssss!
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:47 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

Yeah romantic guy, I actually tried that years ago. I can remember waking up in the morning, feeling a bit amorous, starting to get it on with my wife. Playing around etc. Then, in the blink of an eye, time to get up, we have to go shopping. (Or something like that). Day after day, week after week etc..

Eventually of course, I just gave up. We have talked about this but nothing changes. Now all I concentrate on is doing other things such as shopping etc. Sex is no longer on the agenda. Often my wife says, we’ll have sex this weekend, but it’s rare that it will happen.
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:08 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

A lot of this is all state of mind. It's what you make of it. Your actions reflect his and visa versa. If you want the sex to be hot, keep the passion there. It's not difficult to do. Be open and honest with your spouse. Communicate your needs.

My husband and I only had a hard time right after I broke my neck. It took a full 6 months to heal and 2 years to accept the chronic pain. We still need to take it easy, but work within our limits. I couldn't kiss him back until I felt comfortable enough with my neck. Even a little kissing makes a huge difference. Without the passion, it seems so disconnecting. I'm glad we are back to where we once were. Actually it's better. Practice makes perfect!
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:32 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diolay View Post
Yeah romantic guy, I actually tried that years ago. I can remember waking up in the morning, feeling a bit amorous, starting to get it on with my wife. Playing around etc. Then, in the blink of an eye, time to get up, we have to go shopping. (Or something like that). Day after day, week after week etc..

Eventually of course, I just gave up. We have talked about this but nothing changes. Now all I concentrate on is doing other things such as shopping etc. Sex is no longer on the agenda. Often my wife says, we’ll have sex this weekend, but it’s rare that it will happen.
I wouldn't necessarily give up w/your w, Diolay.
If she is saying things like maybe this weekend that is significant. Now, will you prepare the atmosphere, make time for both of you and . . . ah, lubricate the environment?
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:45 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to keep the sex fire HOT!, HOT!!, HOT!!!!

Oh I have totally given up on it. She says that I think just to keep the peace but it rarely eventuates. I used to take her at her word but when I tried to set the scene, get thhings going or initiate thing, I was brushed off. I simply don't believe her any more. We used ti have sex once in a blue moon. During those times she would talk about any thing and every thing but pillow talk. Not even an I love, you're sexy, nothing. It was usually things about the kids, or she would turn it into a ***** session. If I touched her anywhere, I could never touch her right or she would push me away.

Eventually I would have to force her legs apart and do the deed just to shut her up. It was a case, of get this over with so I can get the hell out of there. (Sounds bad I know).

After a while, if she say I think we wil have sex tonight, and I thought she actually meant it, I would tense up. It wasn't relaxing at all nor enjoyable. Last time she said it, I absolutly froze. There is no emotion or attachment with sex in any mannor or form. For me, it's dead stone cold.
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