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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-31-2012, 11:51 AM   #91 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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Originally Posted by anna garret 01 View Post
I am sorry my OP wasn't clear. I figured we are all intelligent people on this thread and that of course, without a shadow of a doubt, sickness, pregnancy, abuse or other issues would warrant a spouse not able to have sex.

My point was to have a servants heart toward my DH on this issue. To allow absolute trust and openess. He knows he never has to play head games with me to make love. He knows I have touched him deeply and him me by wanting to be a willing partner and let him drink of his sexual fountain when he wants or needs it. I guess I am always wanting it from him too. The more sex we have the more sex I want to have. It's like a craving. Most of all, he has treated me like a queen and I just want him to always know I will be there for him
We understood your intentions, some people on here like to make an issue out of nothing........
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:55 AM   #92 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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Originally Posted by Jamison View Post
yes, there are some people who would continue to have sex with their spouse even if they were treated poorly. I actually see that in right many peoples post on here.
Exactly!
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:10 PM   #93 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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Originally Posted by anna garret 01 View Post
I am sorry my OP wasn't clear. I figured we are all intelligent people on this thread and that of course, without a shadow of a doubt, sickness, pregnancy, abuse or other issues would warrant a spouse not able to have sex.

My point was to have a servants heart toward my DH on this issue. To allow absolute trust and openess. He knows he never has to play head games with me to make love. He knows I have touched him deeply and him me by wanting to be a willing partner and let him drink of his sexual fountain when he wants or needs it. I guess I am always wanting it from him too. The more sex we have the more sex I want to have. It's like a craving. Most of all, he has treated me like a queen and I just want him to always know I will be there for him
---Apt n Beautiful...

some people have Perceptional problems and Immaturity,owing to Lack of Common Sense and Wisdom of Discernment,that the TS had to give such explanations...

and This is why I said, Common Sense is Not Common...They are extreme ones,MYOPIC, who cannot understand,discern what is what...and why ..n how..it is so..


------

You are a garden fountain, a well of fresh water streaming down from Lebanon's mountains.

"Awake, O north wind, And come, wind of the south; Make my garden breathe out fragrance, Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden And eat its choice fruits!"


I have entered My Garden, My Treasure, My Bride! I gather myrrh with My Spices and eat honeycomb with my honey. I drink wine with my milk. Oh, lover and beloved, eat and drink! Yes, drink deeply of your love!


I slept and my heart awake, when I heard my lover knocking and calling:


"Open to Me, My Treasure, My Darling, My Dove, My Perfect One. My head is drenched with dew, My hair with the dampness of the night."





--From The Song of Songs...

Last edited by Claude Veritas; 01-31-2012 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:08 PM   #94 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

ok just help me understand why, why do wives keep their legs closed AFTER marriage? Ugh, why did they marry a man!! If they want to keep their legs closed they should have married a woman....
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:20 AM   #95 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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Originally Posted by anna garret 01 View Post
ok just help me understand why, why do wives keep their legs closed AFTER marriage? Ugh, why did they marry a man!! If they want to keep their legs closed they should have married a woman....
My guess is, until you're been in a situation where you felt you needed to close them then you wouldn't understand where the ones whose legs are closed are coming from.

If your husband treats you like a queen as you have said, then of course they would remain open.
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:27 AM   #96 (permalink)
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Very true.

Once the hunt is over there is no more hunger. Maybe we need written vows with signitures. LOL
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:28 AM   #97 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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Originally Posted by trey69 View Post
My guess is, until you're been in a situation where you felt you needed to close them then you wouldn't understand where the ones whose legs are closed are coming from.

If your husband treats you like a queen as you have said, then of course they would remain open.
"would" or "should"? Not sure if you read posts here, but there are good men that are disputing that very statement. And for the dense among us...I have no words.
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:30 AM   #98 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Diolay View Post
I don't think it's a sign the marriage is over just because one denys sex. Marriage doesn't always have to be about sex after all. There are so many other aspects of life that also need examining as well. I believe people can learn to live without sex and deal with their sexuality in other ways without encroaching on the other persons personal space. All we need to do is work out how to cope with it.
Really? If you can live without romance and an understanding spouse, then sure, you can live without sex.
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:39 AM   #99 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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"would" or "should"? Not sure if you read posts here, but there are good men that are disputing that very statement. And for the dense among us...I have no words.
Its MY Opinion, and a guess, did you read what I said? Apparently NOT, I said it was my guess, nothing more nothing less.

I don't think I'm to far off the mark though, just like I'm sure you don't think you are on your views/opinions, got it?!
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:48 AM   #100 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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Originally Posted by trey69 View Post
My guess is, until you're been in a situation where you felt you needed to close them then you wouldn't understand where the ones whose legs are closed are coming from.

If your husband treats you like a queen as you have said, then of course they would remain open.


This is so spot on! And its true, bottom line, until someone has been in that situation for why people do what they do, then they wont understand!

Kudos trey!
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Old 02-03-2012, 08:33 AM   #101 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by trey69 View Post
Its MY Opinion, and a guess, did you read what I said? Apparently NOT, I said it was my guess, nothing more nothing less.

I don't think I'm to far off the mark though, just like I'm sure you don't think you are on your views/opinions, got it?!
Ummm, I was actually responding to the latter part of your post about If your husband treats you like a queen as you have said, then of course they would remain open.

The would keep them open part was where I was poking fun, as there are men who do the right things and their women don't open up, so to speak.
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:41 AM   #102 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

There are plenty of wives who are treated like a Queen, loved beautifully and still don't want sex.... I was one of them for a time.....in a smaller sense -not overly so, he got it faithfully once a week anyhow (and I was very into it) -but I could have done so very much more. Hate myself for that.

I have no complaints about my husband other than he was too damn passive. He wanted more, and didn't show it enough, never argued with me, I was oblivious and off in the clouds somewhere.

I have a GF who , quite frankly, her wonderful husband ought to leave her ....she has reduced him from a happy man to one of sadness, I can see it in his eyes when we visit. Known them both since high school, she raves about their wonderful marraige on FB for all her friends to see, how much she loves him, but I get to hear the real story....when he wants sex, she doesn't care, she isn't feeling it , to her it is nothing more than a chore, she has told him NO... he has cried in front of her, I asked her how she felt about that ......she just answered "I didn't feel like it". My temperature was rising, I told her if I was married to her, I'd leave her. (somehow she still talks to me)

He is a good christian family man, sticks by her side , always there for her, for thier kids, never raises his voice, even she says he is wonderful, she called me crying over his health one time but still..... SEX........ she ain't interested, doesn't need it, doesn't want it, in this sense, she has no giving in her, she said when she does do it (maybe twice a month), she just lays there..... I feel soooo bad for him. ......

Too much of a nice guy...that's his problem. He'll never leave her, she knows it. SHe needs to catch the Op's message here , shame on her for allowing her man to suffer like that.

You think the more aggressive men are going to stick around with a fridgid wife, they will at least cause some stink about it ....as they should. The nice guys are the ones who get screwed, or in this case, are hardly getting screwed.
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:57 AM   #103 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

this has probably already been said, the lower drive spouse is in control. it doesnt matter if they are treated like a king or queen by their spouse, they still have a frequency they are comfortable with and the higher drive spouse usually just has to live with that. LD spouses dont necessarily dislike sex nor are they using it as a weapon, they simply just dont want it as much.

no drive spouses are simply uninterested in fixing an obvious problem if they dont at least try
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:16 AM   #104 (permalink)
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Default Re: marriage = open legs

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ok just help me understand why, why do wives keep their legs closed AFTER marriage? Ugh, why did they marry a man!! If they want to keep their legs closed they should have married a woman....
The reasons why are as varied as the individuals themselves.

But, it ultimately boils down to choice - people choose to let things slide, choose to not commit themselves to action to righting things that may be going awry in the relationship, choose to let things fester into resentments - they choose to let other things and priorities get in the way of their spouses and marriages.

They choose to drift away - and it's often a choice on both sides there, as each spouse often chooses to not do all of the hard work and heavy lifting that may be required to better things. Much easier to just expect our spouse to accommodate and change, or to crab and complain, or to drift, than do some of the heavy lifting ourselves. imho
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Old 02-03-2012, 11:58 AM   #105 (permalink)
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The reasons why are as varied as the individuals themselves.




Yep! Everyone's reasons for opening or closing is different.
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