Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
View Poll Results: Have you ever been with a sex worker?
Yes, but it has not affected my sex life with partner
3
13.04%
Yes, and it has affected my sex life with partner
2
8.70%
Yes, but I don't know if there's been an affect
2
8.70%
No, but I want to
0
0%
No, I don't want to
15
65.22%
No, but I may consider in the future
1
4.35%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 23. You may not vote on this poll
I am wondering if those experiencing difficulty within their relationships due to sex have ever been with sex workers. The point I'm making is that there may very well be an unattainable ideal that's been reinforced by frequenting a sex worker who simply reflects their clients desires as opposed to the give and take of a monogamous relationship.
I haven't.... but I'd think unless you were honest with your partner, then it would have a negative impact on your "monogamy"...which would no longer be monogamy. And it might anyway, even if she initially agreed.
I also was considering if people had been with a sex worker prior to the relationship as well, to see if there is a connection between sexual dissatisfaction in marriage and the unrealistic fantasy indulgence that may be characterized by frequenting of sex workers and or pornography.
have used porn during the last several years of my marriage due to hardly no sex during that time.
no longer use it, i feel it is a problem especially in a relationship when the wife is willing to make her self available.
never been to a sex worker, the thought of going to where hundreds or thousands of guys have stuck their johnsons is just repulsive, oooo yuck, and as for porn chicks they are just sperm toilets , who wants to see that,ooooo yuck
never been to a sex worker, the thought of going to where hundreds or thousands of guys have stuck their johnsons is just repulsive, oooo yuck, and as for porn chicks they are just sperm toilets , who wants to see that,ooooo yuck
Sperm toilets? Please, don't hold back, nicky1.
These are human beings you have described as sperm toilets and these human beings are evidently providing a service that many, many people find useful (indeed, indispensable if this forum is any measure!). Regardless, let's not diminish/insult someone else's dignity simply because we don't agree with their lifestyle/work/values. Just like them , you are a human being, too. Let's treat each other the way we would like to be treated. Enough of my moralizing!
In my first marriage, I frequented...ummm, "sex workers", largely as a result of my first wife gaining an extraordinary amount of weight (100+ pounds, including 50+ within two years of being married), as well as too much disposable income, often cash that she had no idea about (and she seemed to often have cash I didn't know about and would spend it freely as she chose).
I don't think it has affected my ability to perform...but, yes, I do expect a build up during sex and have never ever liked to just "stick it in" with no foreplay/build-up. Instead, yes, I do enjoy receiving and giving oral sex first, touching, kissing, atmosphere (candlelight), lingerie.
It is cold to me when there is sex but no atmosphere and not a lot of buildup and the only way that works for me is if I am on the receiving end of oral sex, but for me to get hard and stay hard until completion, I do need the whole 9 yards.
I have not frequented sex workers since the time I have met my wife, not even during the 19 months between leaving my first marriage and meeting my wife. During that time, I dated prolifically, had a couple shorter relationships, and was far more interested in dating real women than in seeing sex workers, although I did see a few sex workers (once every two months, maybe?) during those 19 months.
By my second wife taking pretty good care of her appearance and, for the most part, meeting my sexual needs, I have had no desire or need to seek out sex outside the marriage, except for a brief time in the beginning of the relationship when we experimented with other couples and individuals together (but never separately).
There is so much free sex to be had I really don't know why anyone would "need" a sex worker.
There are plenty of adult internet dating sites that have plenty of men and women who want nothing else but a NSA FWB arrangement. Why easier to find a booty call then to find a clean, sex worker.
if they had dignity would they behave like they do? these are free will prostitutes i am speaking of, i never think of sex slaves as free willed , they are slaves and need far more global help than goverments are willing to do
There are no free will prostitutes,there are people who who in a lot of cases have no place else to turn so they use the one thing they have and that is their bodies,do you really think as little girls and boys they wanted to grow up to be sex workers.
It funny when you see these religious types getting caught with a sex worker.
I think prostitution should be legal and controlled all over which would cut down on the violence they face and keep the workers healthy and its would be taxable income.
yes it is funny, here in my country prostitution has been legal for about 7 years, and believe me they have their own free will, have you seen the upmarket models selling themselves, you cant tell me they are not free. they could get loads of guys for a meaningful relationship but choose not to. the whole point to this is a simple supply demand economic model, no supply and the demand will dryup, no demand and the supply will dry up, why do people need to satisfy their lust and degrade themselves
Can they find another line of work where they can do as well NO so of course the money is going to keep them into the profession,but do not even tell me they fell good inside about what they are doing,they tell people outside they are happy but inside they are in serious emotional pain.
prostitution will NEVER STOP it all over the worlds and has been with us since the beginning of time.
yes you are right it will never stop, but surely there are enough social and family supports for their 'emotional pain' , so how about the multitudes of young women who dont charge but none the less go about and sleep with as many guys as they want to, do they feel good inside? feminists will say yes they do, i say they think they do, what do you say? everyone has emotional pain to some degree, it is just the reality of being human
Number one not everybody has support,there are millions around the world that do not,I am very fortunate to have a great family but I can not just look at my family as being the what everybody else has.
I believe that is a person, woman or man that wants to sleep with 1 person or 100 thousand can as long as nobody is getting hurt and they are of consenting age and they are protecting themselves.I don't believe in interfering in anybodies bedroom activites and I don't believe anybody else should.
If a person is have emotional issues and is expressing it with sex then of course they should be seeking counseling.
i think we will have to agree to disagree.
from what i have seen in my life sex outside a stable committed relationship always has negative consequences, it is like a pond rippling through life after a stone has been throwen into it, i am not into governing peoples bedrooms but if they try to tell people that their behaviour is appropriate i will speak up.
Have you ever gone to a sex worker? 
