Three sum?
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 01-30-2012, 05:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Three sum?

So my H and I are curious to have a 3sum with another woman, as much as I want to I don't want him to like it too much and not want me anymore. Has anyone tried it? Bad idea?
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Old 01-30-2012, 05:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

bad idea.
why bring a 3rd party into your marriage?
dont love each other?
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Old 01-30-2012, 05:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Just curious.
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Old 01-30-2012, 05:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

Consider it the start of the end of your marriage.

The fact that you're even considering it though is probably already a good sign that you won't last.

There's a lot of things that people are curious about that they aren't stupid enough to try in real life. 3some's are usually in that category.

How is your marriage otherwise? Your life?
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Consider it the start of the end of your marriage.

The fact that you're even considering it though is probably already a good sign that you won't last.

There's a lot of things that people are curious about that they aren't stupid enough to try in real life. 3some's are usually in that category.

How is your marriage otherwise? Your life?
What COguy said
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Ouch. Our marriage is fine just a thought we both shared
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

thoughts can be dangerous.
why mess with something thats not broken...yet.
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:12 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

BAD BAD idea. If you're looking for hell yeah's, I think there's other forums for that.
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Ouch. Our marriage is fine just a thought we both shared
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Take the emotion out of it, picture that your friends are asking you for advice on the same topic. Really think through it. Not just the sex act but after that. How your friend would feel after the fact. How she would feel about what she did, how her husband felt about it, how she felt about her husband. The jealousy. The emotions that would get stirred up from the third party, your friend, and her husband. How it would lead to other things. What effect it would have on the marriage and their regular sex life.

Spend a good 15-20 minutes just thinking about how the marriage would look AFTER the act was over. The realistic outcomes. And then tell us that for even one second you think that this could in any way be a remotely good idea.

Keep it a fantasy, roleplay if you have to, but don't be an idiot. For every one marriage that makes it through something like that, there's about 9,999 that end up divorced or miserable. The small payoff during the act is never going to overcome the myriad of negative consequences. It is much like drug abuse. First hit is great, everything after that is just chasing until you hit rock bottom.
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

I gotta agree with everyone else here. I expect what sounds exciting in one's head will create some imagery in one's head that you can't get rid of. For example, the vision of my wife really mugging down with another guy, and being an active participant isn't an image I could deal with. I expect it would be the case with my wife too, even if she didn't realize it before hand. And once you've gone there, you can't "un-go" there. It's done.
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Old 02-01-2012, 06:39 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by 2nd_t!me iz_best View Post
thoughts can be dangerous.
why mess with something thats not broken...yet.
Wow, that is a recipe for a dull sexlife.

There are many couples who have enjoyed threesomes for many years and there are couples whose marriages have been destroyed by this kind of thing. The key is honesty, openness and a rock-solid relationship to start with.

If you like I will introduce you to a woman who has been sleeping with other men for 30 years, with her husbands approval, and she has a marriage that I envy.
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Old 02-01-2012, 06:46 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

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If you like I will introduce you to a woman who has been sleeping with other men for 30 years, with her husbands approval, and she has a marriage that I envy.
no, thats ok.
wouldnt even want to be in the same room with her, let alone have sex with her.
thats just nasty.
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Old 02-01-2012, 06:56 AM   #13 (permalink)
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no, thats ok.
wouldnt even want to be in the same room with her, let alone have sex with her.
thats just nasty.
I'll let her know.

The point is you can't be prescriptive. Absolute statements about what will and won't destroy your marriage are worthless.
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Old 02-01-2012, 07:03 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

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I'll let her know.

The point is you can't be prescriptive. Absolute statements about what will and won't destroy your marriage are worthless.
just stating the facts, it would destroy a relationship of mine, especially if i loved my partner.
to me, it shows no love.
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Old 02-01-2012, 07:08 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Three sum?

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Originally Posted by COguy View Post
Take the emotion out of it, picture that your friends are asking you for advice on the same topic. Really think through it. Not just the sex act but after that. How your friend would feel after the fact. How she would feel about what she did, how her husband felt about it, how she felt about her husband. The jealousy. The emotions that would get stirred up from the third party, your friend, and her husband. How it would lead to other things. What effect it would have on the marriage and their regular sex life.

Spend a good 15-20 minutes just thinking about how the marriage would look AFTER the act was over. The realistic outcomes. And then tell us that for even one second you think that this could in any way be a rem 6otely good idea.

Keep it a fantasy, roleplay if you have to, but don't be an idiot. For every one marriage that makes it through something like that, there's about 9,999 that end up divorced or miserable. The small payoff during the act is never going to overcome the myriad of negative consequences. It is much like drug abuse. First hit is great, everything after that is just chasing until you hit rock bottom.
I'm really curious where you got you stats from.

As an FYI, my GF and I had a threesome/ foursome this fall, after talking about it for awhile. And we had a fairly painful discussion after the fact. It's one thing to think about seeing your partner with someone else, but quite another when it really happens. In the end, I think we came out stronger, and plan on trying it again, but there's definitely risk involved.

And keep in mind that this was" just" with my GF. I love her an awful lot, but we've only got about a year invested into each other, and no kids, mortgage, etc. Would I gamble a marriage on it? I'd have to be pretty damn confident with our communication and security of both of us. I was very comfortable in our communication, and we did work it out, but it could have backfired.

C

Last edited by PBear; 02-01-2012 at 07:14 AM.
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