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Just Wondering 02-02-2012 12:03 PM

Today Its Funny to Me
 
I have spent 30yrs trying to build a well balance sexual relationship with my wife.Never any luck.Its always been ,I promise it will get better.Well at this point in life I have realised its easyer to change your self than it is to change someone else.Our last little fight about it was Jan 1 .She said maybe if I was to leave her alone about it and quite getting pissed out and relax about it the problem would go away.Well here we are in Feb-3 no sex for a month.I have completely been a wonderful husband,Been as kind as can be.Never mention sex once.Stayed on my own side of the bed.Kissed good night,Kissed good bye in the mourning.What a way to live.Their is not one other problem in our marriage.We have everything we both ever wanted.But no sex life between us.She appears to be so happy with my new not bothering her with my sexual desires.Sometimes in life you just can't have what you want.I really believe you will never change someone's desire for sex in life.
It has nothing to do with attraction.I feel your born with the sexual jeans or not. It comes from within you not from someone else.So that being said is why you will never change anyone's desire for more sex.

romantic_guy 02-02-2012 12:13 PM

Re: Today Its Funny to Me
 
Have you read "The Married Man Sex Primer?" I will agree with on thing. Getting mad at her refusals won't work. However I do think it is possible for some people to change. We are having much more sex now than ever before. Partly, it was the things I learned in MMSL, the other part was realizing that my wife needed to feel loved before she could feel intimate. The book, "The Five Love Languages" helped with that. I also learned that many women have "responsive desire" meaning that they don't think about sex all that much and even start sex in neutral. But they get into it once they start.

Now, I don't know if any of that applies to you. You can find the book and website for MMSL here:
Married Man Sex Life


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