Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
WOW! Some women are vicious on here! Look, I understand where the dude is coming from. But some of you are like, " It hurts! Stop being a selfish bastard and get over it!" Well, not getting anal sex isn't the real issue here it's that the OP felt rejected. Look, it does sting a little bit knowing that your wife tried something with someone else, probably someone that could have treated her like dirt. Could have verbally abused her, cheated on her...whatever. If it was a perfect relationship then the OP wouldn't be in the picture. She felt COMFORTABLE enough to try it with the douche bag, but he might be thinking," we in a loving and commited relationship and I'm the one that gets rejected." Selfish way if thinking and it happens. We are all selfish by nature.
I think that maybe he was looking for more of a way to handle the rejection more than trying to scheme to get his wife to give up the ass! Don't get me wrong, if someone knew a way to get anal, I don't think he would dismiss it. But, the way I took it was as if he was asking is it WRONG of me to feel rejected? Is it WRONG of me to feel jealous?
Crossbar, I think where women were getting upset was where he said he was getting resentful, with the implication of he was resentful of her pain. Which he cleared up a little.
Also though, the person she tried it with is apparently a friend, so not a total wastoid but as was said before it takes just one bad experience with anal to be like "no, forget you, never again" even with the nicest person ever. Especially ESPECIALLY after being pregnant with all the pressure that ends up down there. I think all us harsh women were just trying to emphasize that it has little to do with a particular partner than sometimes you just don't ever want to deal with that pain again. Posted via Mobile Device
Crossbar, I think where women were getting upset was where he said he was getting resentful, with the implication of he was resentful of her pain. Which he cleared up a little.
Also though, the person she tried it with is apparently a friend, so not a total wastoid but as was said before it takes just one bad experience with anal to be like "no, forget you, never again" even with the nicest person ever. Especially ESPECIALLY after being pregnant with all the pressure that ends up down there. I think all us harsh women were just trying to emphasize that it has little to do with a particular partner than sometimes you just don't ever want to deal with that pain again. Posted via Mobile Device
Which I do get, but women also state that there's no greater pain than that of a woman giving birth. So, if it is that intense and so unpleasant, why would woman subjugate themselves to it more than once?
I'm not trying to be a smartass or anything. I'm just trying to understand. So, don't blast me too bad.
Which I do get, but women also state that there's no greater pain than that of a woman giving birth. So, if it is that intense and so unpleasant, why would woman subjugate themselves to it more than once?
I'm not trying to be a smartass or anything. I'm just trying to understand. So, don't blast me too bad.
LMAO! I won't blast you, but it's funny to think about the differences.
With labor the pain is focused and purposeful with the added benefit of being able to say all the cuss words, cuss out your spouse and the doctor and being able to shriek about how much pain you are in. (I don't know if you've seen a woman in labor but can you imagine trying to have sex with one? I'm dying laughing thinking about it.) At the end, you get the worlds biggest endorphin rush AND your cute little sprog so the pain is immediately lessened by that as well as the effect of memory loss from sleepless nights.
Anal sex...well not so much. I'm not adverse to it but for me the sensation is mostly annoying pressure with a little bit of pain. No huge endorphin rush, no orgasm, no kid at the end and I just end up with a sore ass. True, it's shorter than labor but unless you are really into it...for me it's just below mediocre sex. For a woman who experiences sharp pain each time, there really isn't much motivation to have painful sex when you simply have a vagina that gives you pleasurable sex. Posted via Mobile Device
sorry, your fine, I have tried it with my husband hmmm about 7 times, just cant' get his **** up there without enough lube and rythym...I wish I culd do this for both of us, like on our anniv, valentines day, etc...I do have a plug we use instead...does that count??
Which I do get, but women also state that there's no greater pain than that of a woman giving birth. So, if it is that intense and so unpleasant, why would woman subjugate themselves to it more than once?
I'm not trying to be a smartass or anything. I'm just trying to understand. So, don't blast me too bad.
I have a hard time understanding why you think that enduring the pain of childbirth more than once has something to do with enduring the pain of anal sex.
Having children is a natural joyful experience for men and women. The pain for the woman is well worth the final outcome. Another precious soul is brought into the world.
What does the experience of painful anal sex bring? What is the reward? Another route to orgasm for her loving husband.
This is just me but, my advice is - never say that to any woman in your life. She probably would not agree that having two or more children makes her a masochist and her husband a sadist. Just sayin'
What does the experience of painful anal sex bring? What is the reward? Another route to orgasm for her loving husband.
So, are you saying that NO women enjoys it? If this is the case then why does this thread even exist? Should be universally accepted that absolutely no women enjoys anal sex? Again, I only posted that post as a curiosity, not as a "dig" on women. But I thought it was a curious question.
So, are you saying that NO women enjoys it? If this is the case then why does this thread even exist? Should be universally accepted that absolutely no women enjoys anal sex? Again, I only posted that post as a curiosity, not as a "dig" on women. But I thought it was a curious question.
You might not have meant this to be a diversion to avoid addressing my question but this non-answer has all of the elements of one. You interjected the pain of anal sex and birthing pain, not me.
I was just interested to hear how you arrived at an association of the two. I wondered if this is a common view. Women endure pain giving birth so why would anal sex scare them if their loving husband got a charge out of it.
Most men cannot endure the thought of their wives in pain even in labor. They may not find anal sex arousing with their wives because it is associated with pain for her.
I don't think they would even be able to juxtapose the pain of labor and a painful sex act.
You might not have meant this to be a diversion to avoid addressing my question but this non-answer has all of the elements of one. You interjected the pain of anal sex and birthing pain, not me.
I was just interested to hear how you arrived at an association of the two. I wondered if this is a common view. Women endure pain giving birth so why would anal sex scare them if their loving husband got a charge out of it.
Most men cannot endure the thought of their wives in pain even in labor. They may not find anal sex arousing with their wives because it is associated with pain for her.
I don't think they would even be able to juxtapose the pain of labor and a painful sex act.
Well, okay....you stated that child birth is an enjoyable experience for both mother and father. I'm a man and I can tell you...not so much. The EXACTUAL birth was amazing but the hours and hours of labor pain, and moodiness, and anger (yes...anger) was NOT an enjoyable experience.
So, when my wife proposed to have a second child, I SHOULD have said, "HELL NO! You were a right pain in the ass for your whole pregnancy and I'd rather not endure that again." That's where the association lays.
But if my wife came on here and started a thread subject " I want another child but my husband refuses" I would probably be blamed for being a selfish bastard for not given into my wife's maternal needs.
Thus, it raises the question on how woman are able to endure the pain (just focus on the PAIN statement) of child birthing and WANTING to repeat the process and anal sex is too unbearable to endure? That's perplexing! And don't get me wrong! Hat's off to women that can give birth because if men could give birth, this world would be a hellva lot less populated!!!
Women don't expect childbirth to be pleasant...its a sacrifice for the benefit of bringing a new life into the world. Our expectations for sexual intercourse are different...can you grasp that? I'm not against anal sex but I would resent my dh if I knew that the only reason he wanted to try anal was because he knew I tried it with someone else. The OP wasn't interested in anal prior to his wife telling him about it. So it's not about the act it's about his ego. So she's really just an object in a pissing contest between him and his friend. I would also really resent the well you've suffered through child birth so my di@k in your a** shouldn't phase you in the least. Who cares if it hurts you my ego is going to make me resent you if you don't do this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crossbar
Well, okay....you stated that child birth is an enjoyable experience for both mother and father. I'm a man and I can tell you...not so much. The EXACTUAL birth was amazing but the hours and hours of labor pain, and moodiness, and anger (yes...anger) was NOT an enjoyable experience.
So, when my wife proposed to have a second child, I SHOULD have said, "HELL NO! You were a right pain in the ass for your whole pregnancy and I'd rather not endure that again." That's where the association lays.
But if my wife came on here and started a thread subject " I want another child but my husband refuses" I would probably be blamed for being a selfish bastard for not given into my wife's maternal needs.
Thus, it raises the question on how woman are able to endure the pain (just focus on the PAIN statement) of child birthing and WANTING to repeat the process and anal sex is too unbearable to endure? That's perplexing! And don't get me wrong! Hat's off to women that can give birth because if men could give birth, this world would be a hellva lot less populated!!!
Having anal sex somehow seems to require even more trust and be at a somehow more intimate level than regular vaginal sex ... is it the fact that she was trusting and close enough with another guy to go ahead with it and not with you that bothers you?
From my limited experience I think that women physically really do enjoy anal, and if not full anal sex then some touching/some pressure when you go down on her, or while you're having regular sex ... but it happened over a long period of time.
Just talking about having full anal sex without having played around many times with just fingers, etc. seems like you're getting way ahead of yourself. If you are gentle with her, and play with her alot, she might really like it and ask for more ... and if not you're out of luck.
I used to make circles gently with a finger or thumb or press on her anus a bit while I was giving her oral and she told me it really felt great and helped her finish faster ... then one night I was pressing on her with a finger while giving her oral and I heard her gasp -- 'do it' (like push it in) and I was like ... ok cool, she's into this ...
Crossbar, just to reiterate Cathrine's and Ayla's points:
We (humans) expect childbirth to be painful. We expect sex to be pleasurable. If anal isn't pleasurable, the motivation to have it is way down there and if it's painful the motivation is zero. Posted via Mobile Device
59Likes
Re: Wifes previous anal sex and my jealousy 
