Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
And my point is, is that the OP is having a hard time coming to terms that she was willing to fullfill her Ex's fantasy's and not his. Having a hard time with the rejection from his wife. That there is no middle ground. And I read through the thread again and I must have miss the post where he said that she had mind movies over the event. It was just something that she didn't enjoy with the other guy.
She tried something with her ex, it hurt her, she didn't like it and she doesn't want to do it again. I don't see what is complicated here. She isn't "rejecting him". She is saying this is my boundary and I won't cross it.
I didn't say she was currently having mind movies, I said that if he continues to force the issue and she gives in, I am pretty sure she will go back to that experience with the ex.
I guess everything we did with our exes should be fair game with our current partners, right? My ex was in to kinky stuff that would make my current husband run screaming away. Apparently I should pressure him and sulk because "my ex let me do it". Right?
Honestly, this is not going to end well if pursued. Mark my words.
She tried something with her ex, it hurt her, she didn't like it and she doesn't want to do it again. I don't see what is complicated here. She isn't "rejecting him". She is saying this is my boundary and I won't cross it.
I didn't say she was currently having mind movies, I said that if he continues to force the issue and she gives in, I am pretty sure she will go back to that experience with the ex.
I guess everything we did with our exes should be fair game with our current partners, right? My ex was in to kinky stuff that would make my current husband run screaming away. Apparently I should pressure him and sulk because "my ex let me do it". Right?
Honestly, this is not going to end well if pursued. Mark my words.
Okay, so your advice to the OP's feelings of rejection is "get over it!"
Okay, so your advice to the OP's feelings of rejection is "get over it!"
Not at all. More like, search deeply within yourself to figure out why you are so insecure that you would ask of your beloved to do what has hurt her, solely and only because she did it with someone else. Why would you continue to press the issue knowing that she had issues from it. Why is this a "rejection" to you rather what it really is...a trautic event from the past that she doesn't want to relive.
I think a lot of soul searching is necessary here, certainly not "get over it".
Okay, so your advice to the OP's feelings of rejection is "get over it!"
Yep. That's exactly what I'd recommend.
What's the alternative? Build up resentment and disdain in and otherwise happy marriage - one that now includes kids - over this? Beg, plead and harass until his wife finds him so repugnant and obsessive she wants no sex at all?
I'm not unsympathetic to the guy, but at the end of the day she does not want that particular sex act. Deal with it. Posted via Mobile Device
And my point is, is that the OP is having a hard time coming to terms that she was willing to fullfill her Ex's fantasy's and not his. Having a hard time with the rejection from his wife.
It wasn't a big deal to him until he found out someone else had been there. That tells me this is not a fantasy, rather an obsession with his own ego.
If my husband required me to do everything with him that I have done with someone else, I wouldn't be married to him. There is such a thing as caring enough about your spouse to respect their boundaries. Anal sex HURTS me. I freaking hate it, and I have had the most gentle and considerate lover try. I bleed for days. I will not do it. If my husband walked in a demanded it ( since some men think they are entitled to it) he would be walking out the door with a suitcase.
If you can't live without tapping my stink, you aren't tapping my pink.
How do you know it's going to hurt her. If you read my posts, we have never attempted anal sex. It's not as if we got close but it hurt her and now I'm demanding she continue trying it and to ignore the pain. She hasn't tried it with me. No one knows for a fact if it would hurt or not. I'm upset that she isn't willing to try. Posted via Mobile Device
Have not seen this asked yet, but have thought it and your posts reinforces my suspicion...
Do you believe your wife when she says that anal sex hurt? If the answer is "no", you need to seriously consider whether you have good reason to doubt her. If she has a habit of lying and you think this is the same, you need to be honest with her.
If you don't doubt her, you need to listen to her. As opposed to the great BJ controversy (which is really largely about ick factor and personal biases), anal sex carries real risk of physical harm and infection (for you and her) in addition to the pain.
To think that one woman's rectum has fomented so much controversy.
I for one recommend that the OP take several pics of the orifice in question, and post links to said pics for we posters to peruse at our liesure. Only then can we objectively provide informed opinions as to whether he should try to put it to her or not.
To think that one woman's rectum has fomented so much controversy.
I for one recommend that the OP take several pics of the orifice in question, and post links to said pics for we posters to peruse at our liesure. Only then can we objectively provide informed opinions as to whether he should try to put it to her or not.
Who owns her bum, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in her mind to suffer
The poking of her offices,
Or to take arms against a self-centered mans request
And by opposing end it. To live in peace - and argue ,
No more; and by a peace to say she ends
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
Of the misfortune of having a husband
so blinded by his jealousy
This is not about anal sex this is about control, propriety, empathy and compassion towards his wife., His sense of sexual rejection seems to trump the impropriety of bringing up a painful experience so soon after she has had his child. Then he plans of retaliation, against his own wife the mother of his 6 months old child is rather frightening. That is a normal reaction of a responsible, decent man?
He sounds like a 2 year- old having a tantrum. Poor wife.
Chances are the OP probably showed this thread to his wife. She probably said, "Holy Christmas! Okay! We can try as soon as my backside is better so these people can shut up about my ass!"
Not at all. More like, search deeply within yourself to figure out why you are so insecure that you would ask of your beloved to do what has hurt her, solely and only because she did it with someone else. Why would you continue to press the issue knowing that she had issues from it. Why is this a "rejection" to you rather what it really is...a trautic event from the past that she doesn't want to relive.
I think a lot of soul searching is necessary here, certainly not "get over it".
I would not ask my wife to do anything that I would not be willing to do. Don't know if anyone has suggested this yet or not. But the OP should stick a big chubby up his rectum and see how he likes it. If he enjoys 5-10 minutes of this, then he should be able to ask his wife to do the same.
I would not ask my wife to do anything that I would not be willing to do. Don't know if anyone has suggested this yet or not. But the OP should stick a big chubby up his rectum and see how he likes it. If he enjoys 5-10 minutes of this, then he should be able to ask his wife to do the same.
Dont forget the lube and go slow. Expect some discomfort but do it anyway as an act of love for your wife.
You should be willing to make sacrifices for each other. if being poked in the but is not your thing, just remember you are doing it to make your wife more comfortable. This is part of the give and take of sex. Good luck!
59Likes
Re: Wifes previous anal sex and my jealousy 
