Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I'm actually friends with her ex. We've seen each others ****s and I'm not concerned at all with my size. I was concerned about my wife being willing to fulfill his fantasies however having no concern over my desires. If you look back at page 4, I've already stated I'm going to drop the issue. Posted via Mobile Device
---I think his wife shud go for anal with him..he seems sensitive ...but I doubt, she may have a wound from the previous episode, which she doesnt want to expose..that she is resisting it? talk to her gently and understand the real reason..dont get hyper with any element or tinge of jealousy..while talking to her about this.
if she does not have , she can go for it, and he should be careful and caring ,esp in the entry and subsequent process as well.
let it be one time and mutual..it would make things fine enough.
Thanks for your sarcastic and wildly inaccurate concern Catherine. Posted via Mobile Device
My first two post were positive and meant to help.
The last one was not positive but you may want to read and consider. I don't think it is to far off base.
You are too angry in reaction to this solvable problem. Do you have anger problems? Have you had problems in your other relationships? Do you blame others for making you angry, hostile, resentful and retaliatory?
If you feel that you need to blow up your marriage because of your feelings of deprivation, that's on you.
I suggested a reasonable route you might take relative to the sex act.
I cannot advise you what to do about the ease with which you blame your wife for your feelings.
I don't think you want to solve it, you want to make your wife miserable and destabilize your child's life because you cant get anal sex. Why?
I give up..... The amount of freaks on this site just astounds me..... The preoccupation with sex in all forms and upset that their spouse doesn't want to try something????
Really now 100+ responses to an immature male who won't take no for an answer to having anal with his wife, who admitted to trying it and as truly turned off, hurt by it and hated it???? Now I see another email and him comparing **** sizes. Grow up.....
My first two post were positive and meant to help.
The last one was not positive but you may want to read and consider. I don't think it is to far off base.
You are too angry in reaction to this solvable problem. Do you have anger problems? Have you had problems in your other relationships? Do you blame others for making you angry, hostile, resentful and retaliatory?
If you feel that you need to blow up your marriage because of your feelings of deprivation, that's on you.
I suggested a reasonable route you might take relative to the sex act.
I cannot advise you what to do about the ease with which you blame your wife for your feelings.
I don't think you want to solve it, you want to make your wife miserable and destabilize your child's life because you cant get anal sex. Why?
---We dont project a small issue ( as of now) to be a Big Problem ( or a potential one)..do we..?why take this to psycho-sexual levels..?
Pal, I advise you to talk to her and I too wish, she will talk on the issue with poise and understanding ...see whats really hurting, whether its the anal pain or emotional pain ,if any, from the previous one...if she does not have a problem, then you can consent her for an anal , even if she is more or less willing...that can do away with any future "issues"..moreoever, you can have a broad understanding mind, even if she is unwilling..just dismiss it.which might take a lil time and pressure.
---We dont project a small issue ( as of now) to be a Big Problem ( or a potential one)..do we..?why take this to psycho-sexual levels..?
Pal, I advise you to talk to her and I too wish, she will talk on the issue with poise and understanding ...see whats really hurting, whether its the anal pain or emotional pain ,if any, from the previous one...if she does not have a problem, then you can consent her for an anal , even if she is more or less willing...that can do away with any future "issues"..moreoever, you can have a broad understanding mind, even if she is unwilling..just dismiss it.which might take a lil time and pressure.
What?!?! If she is more or less willing? Even if she is unwilling? He can consent her for anal? That sounds like a lot of bad stuff.
What?!?! If she is more or less willing? Even if she is unwilling? He can consent her for anal? That sounds like a lot of bad stuff.
I think he was saying I should be able to ask her, if she consents then great, if not I will have to deal with it. I highly doubt he was encouraging anal rape. Posted via Mobile Device
I think he was saying I should be able to ask her, if she consents then great, if not I will have to deal with it. I highly doubt he was encouraging anal rape. Posted via Mobile Device
haha..see this is why I was saying Women lack understanding, ...and are thus presumptive...
Pal, thats what I am telling you to do..that either make her consent or dismiss n deal with it, survive it , and it will take time and pressure on the latter case...
What?!?! If she is more or less willing? Even if she is unwilling? He can consent her for anal? That sounds like a lot of bad stuff.
That was funny on its misinterpretation..and liked the way it was called ..lot of bad stuff.. ,nevertheless understandable on its concern.but let me say, to interpret rightly, without prenotion,while reading.
I think he was saying I should be able to ask her, if she consents then great, if not I will have to deal with it. I highly doubt he was encouraging anal rape. Posted via Mobile Device
Okay, gotcha. I was confused, but that happens a lot to me.
---We dont project a small issue ( as of now) to be a Big Problem ( or a potential one)..do we..?why take this to psycho-sexual levels..?.
We don't, do we.
Well, he thinks it is a big problem he is resentful, withdrawing empathy and accusing the mother of his 6 month old child of betraying him? That sounds like a big problem to me.
You think it is a psyco-sexual problem, that's interesting.
I am not projecting pal. It has never occurred to me to behave so abominably towards anyone I love.
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The men with the most anger and dislike of women, seem to view their partners as conscripts to a union where the males sexual needs are sacrosanct. They seem like throwbacks to the last century.
They "help" with the household chores. They don't feel that they should be expected to keep a place where they eat sleep and live along with their kids, clean and orderly. But they will give her a hand if she worships at his alter.
They are "romantic" because their wives need it but they don't feel like they should be expected to show that kind of attention because it is silly. They will, if she worships at his alter.
They work to support themselves their wives and their kids. But their wives are singled out because they should not be expected to support her unless she worships at his alter.
I refused many things my husband wanted to try sexually in the beginning of our marriage. But my husband is a clever man. He waited until I trusted his love for me and not sex acts I could do for him.
It was an invitation to a feast for both of us. If he felt that his needs were too valuable to be altered in any way, we would not still be married.
I know I would have felt that I was stripped of my status as an autonomous, feeling person with experiences that shaped my taste, just like my husband.
As experiences change, so do taste. That's what I was trying to convey to the OP. He can build trust and new good association of anal play and invite her for more adventures.
Hostility and withdrawal of proper regard for his wife will not induce her to trust him. He will get back what he gives.
Most women hate anal (even the thought of) sex. Men see it on porn and think it looks great and easy. Its not. Many porn queens have lost their careers because of it and one in an interview said they have to wear depends at times.
What? She told him the problem. It's a serious issue.. it hurts. And he burshes it off as though it's nothing.
I have the same issue she does. I've tried it. Actually liked it until I ended up with a fissure that has not healed in 40 years... even with medical care. Some people can tolerate anal sex, others cannot. His pushing her to do something that she says hurts her is a bad sign about him
Are you sure it's an anal fissure? They pretty much heal up in short order.
We don't, do we. : GOOD, that you understand that..
Well, he thinks it is a big problem he is resentful, withdrawing empathy and accusing the mother of his 6 month old child of betraying him? That sounds like a big problem to me.
---He is not resentful, but actually hurt ,it seems..its uncanny , if she could do with the other guy, why not with him??? thats his grievance..
You think it is a psyco-sexual problem, that's interesting.
--I dint think and I dont think,rather you are thinking and taking to those levels for professional help etc for a small issue ,which can be solved between the two, esp if the woman can willingly open up to him.
I am not projecting pal. It has never occurred to me to behave so abominably towards anyone I love.
--Dudette , There is nothing Abominable in his desire or his thoughts of having a grievance..rather ,she shud understand him and make some provision..he still is ready to drop the idea as well..it shows ,he has a good enough mind and not very resentful as you think and project him to be..
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The men with the most anger and dislike of women, seem to view their partners as conscripts to a union where the males sexual needs are sacrosanct. They seem like throwbacks to the last century.
---Resentful and angry ?? he is just genuinely hurt and its natural to feel remorse ,when he is her husband, if she could open up to her ex-who was not her hubby ,why not him???, he feels its Unfair on her uncanny stance..but the guy is ready to drop the idea, if she has any troubles, or unwillingness .Dont you infer it???
They "help" with the household chores. They don't feel that they should be expected to keep a place where they eat sleep and live along with their kids, clean and orderly. But they will give her a hand if she worships at his alter.
They are "romantic" because their wives need it but they don't feel like they should be expected to show that kind of attention because it is silly. They will, if she worships at his alter.
They work to support themselves their wives and their kids. But their wives are singled out because they should not be expected to support her unless she worships at his alter.
I refused many things my husband wanted to try sexually in the beginning of our marriage. But my husband is a clever man. He waited until I trusted his love for me and not sex acts I could do for him.
It was an invitation to a feast for both of us. If he felt that his needs were too valuable to be altered in any way, we would not still be married.
I know I would have felt that I was stripped of my status as an autonomous, feeling person with experiences that shaped my taste, just like my husband.
As experiences change, so do taste. That's what I was trying to convey to the OP. He can build trust and new good association of anal play and invite her for more adventures.
Hostility and withdrawal of proper regard for his wife will not induce her to trust him. He will get back what he gives.
----Typical sayings of a Dear prejudiced Good Woman with SUBJECTIVE REMARKS and CORRELATION, who thinks every Man views a Woman to be a Utility product...The Guy here is certainly seeming to be taking care, loving and adaptable on such issues and friendly even with the woman's ex..What women need to understand is, Sex and Love needs to go hand in hand in Marriage...have Consensus reached, without doubting on intentions,trust.The Ego of the woman restricts her to be a tyrant in sexual matters, which makes things worse than any better...Women shud try to understand the needs of Men in sexual matters , when they claim they love their Men..It shud not be Mechanical and with so many Conditions and Prejudises and Doubts on Trust and Intentions etc,There are Women who understands the Men they love ,truly to be in Synergy,Symbiosis and Mutuality
If this were my husband and a situation between us he would not get the anal, why? Because if this one issue would cause him to lose empathy and become resentful and feel betrayed then there is no way i could feel like i could trust him to perform anal. If this one issue ellicits all these feelings then this is probably a pattern, her reaction is based on your action. Did you handle it lovingly and maturely from the beginning? If not then you might have the answer to the problem right there
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Re: Wifes previous anal sex and my jealousy 
.and liked the way it was called ..lot of bad stuff..
,nevertheless understandable on its concern.but let me say, to interpret rightly, without prenotion,while reading.
