Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
He said he believed marriage was hard work and that you need to regulary monitor the health of your marriage and do some work in the areas that need attention.... bit like tuning the engine on your car.
Good advice. I think the problem for some people is that the amount of work involved is vast. It'd be like having a car and having to replace the alternator one week, strip the brakes the next, weld up the subframe the next week, replace the head gasket the week after that, to the point that whenever they're out in the car they're so worried the thing is going to conk out that they can't enjoy it, or just don't dare do anything, or decide they can't keep spending all their time, money and energy keeping it on the road...
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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
To those who are happily married and enjoy a good sex life with their partner, please do not feel guilty or bad about talking about it! Although I'm definitely not in the "good sex life" group at this point, I enjoy reading posts from those of you who are. It gives me hope and reassures me that what I want is not unrealistic - that it can and does happen in marriage. Do I sometimes envy what some of you post? Yes. Does it sometimes remind me of my own issues at home? Yes. But I still continue to read and learn from everyone and hope that you all will continue to share your success stories.
I am SO grateful for this site. I am extremely sad that it exists because so many of us have problems and issues. But, it is a good place to learn and provide comfort and compassion. I wish I had what I used to have in my relationship - joy.
If your relationship needs more tuneups than an old MG then your main activity isn't marriage per se it's tuning up your marriage. Like people who go to car shows and never drive.
If your relationship needs more tuneups than an old MG then your main activity isn't marriage per se it's tuning up your marriage. Like people who go to car shows and never drive.
yeah but you do alot of looking right
No one should be in a sexless marriage, that is not marriage any way.
Forced lack of intimacy for what ever reason should be made a crime, one shouldn't be made to feel guilty for wanting a sexual relationship.
I left one partner because he only ever wanted sex once a month, it makes you feel undesirable, he had issues because he suffered premature ejaculation, i'd only have to get near him he'd cum.
Then the other one whilst together was good at the start before he got obese, he became insecure, possessive, jealous, but wouldn't leave the states to live with us, so sex maybe once a year, he wasn't very creative i had in the end always initiate, oh and the guilt trip combined with sulking is not sexy.
I don't want to be rescued or a provider just a lover now, my body was made to be lusted and loved over, if anyone wants a pic just pm me
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,863
Re: So Sad...
I wasn't going to post in this thread. I liked the original a few days ago to signal my agreement and to say "well said" and was going to leave it at that.
I've been very sad as I read here. As hard as it may be to believe when you see the length of some of my posts, I read a lot more than I write. There are so many situations that are just so far over my head in being able to offer anything that I think may be helpful ... most times I don't post in those threads. I've been here long enough now that I'm really starting to feel the weight.
I'm not sure if I can continue to come here, or if I can, for how long. I'm not sure my little sunshiny posts are helpful to anybody. Like the OP, when I post about what's good in my marriage, I almost feel like I'm bragging. It's not my intent. I am very happy with my marriage and would like that to shine, but I can't help but feel that it will be viewed as bragging ... and as fun as it is to post with others who are also happy and share what we're happy about, I'm really questioning whether or not anything I post is helpful.
So I'll have to evaluate ... But yes, definitely, so sad.
shy_guy There is nothing wrong in saying you have a successful marriage and it shines, people like me absorb that warmth as well as the rays that cast light on hopes and new dreams.
How timely. I was thinking today about cutting myself off from this site because of the sadness that it has evoked and how it has brought some things to the forefront of my mind that I was not dealing with.
I absolutely love reading the posts about those couples that have overcome adversity to save and enhance their relationships. It gives me great hope.
This site helped me to reach out to a counselor to get the help I need. I will be forever grateful.
It has taken me years to understand the depths of love for my wife. By today's definition she is not a "hottie" but I would not give her up for a "10". The last few years have been difficult for me professionally and I think it has taken a toll on her. She has said some things that have been cruel and those have been some of the most disappointing moments in my life.
The experiences of others here have helped me to realize that I can never be patient, kind or loving enough towards her. I have also learned that I need to work on improving myself and not be so wrapped up in her. We are not close to having the relationship I want for us but we are so much closer than we were 6 months ago.
How timely. I was thinking today about cutting myself off from this site because of the sadness that it has evoked and how it has brought some things to the forefront of my mind that I was not dealing with.
I absolutely love reading the posts about those couples that have overcome adversity to save and enhance their relationships. It gives me great hope.
This site helped me to reach out to a counselor to get the help I need. I will be forever grateful.
It has taken me years to understand the depths of love for my wife. By today's definition she is not a "hottie" but I would not give her up for a "10". The last few years have been difficult for me professionally and I think it has taken a toll on her. She has said some things that have been cruel and those have been some of the most disappointing moments in my life.
The experiences of others here have helped me to realize that I can never be patient, kind or loving enough towards her. I have also learned that I need to work on improving myself and not be so wrapped up in her. We are not close to having the relationship I want for us but we are so much closer than we were 6 months ago.
thanks to all of you!
No, thank you for this post! Many of us who have weathered the storms of relationships and become stronger hope that sharing will help someone else. Your words help us to know that we are making a difference!
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
If your relationship needs more tuneups than an old MG then your main activity isn't marriage per se it's tuning up your marriage. Like people who go to car shows and never drive.
LOL... interesting take on things!
It seems to be working for them ok.... after all these years they still go away for 'dirty weekends', they hold hands and kiss often and they show love in every word, look, touch, it used to gross me out as a youngster...now I just think... how cool!
Maybe sometimes it IS worthwhile working on/maintaining those old classics and keeping them running smooth
I am so saddened by some posts I read. Men wishing they could make love to their wife. Women wanting sex from their husband. So many missing out on the closeness, the intimacy, the connection. I know many are at their limit. Why doesn't he or she love me? The only person on earth with whom I want to make love and she/he won't. It almost makes me feel guilty when I tell about our marriage; like I am rubbing it in somehow. I wish I could "wave a magic wand" and fix it. But relationships can be so hard.
I know this does not help, but I feel for you all nonetheless.
Well said.
I came here as the holidays approached for advice on feuding extended families. I had no 'friggin clue how much pain so many people are in and feel terrible about it.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,863
Re: So Sad...
Nightshift, honeysuckle rose, cloudwithleggs, RClawson, and anybody else I may have missed: Thank you for your posts. I needed to read that.
I shared this thread with my wife last night, and especially my post about feeling sad. She was concerned that I would become depressed. I'm not concerned about depression (medical) but sadness can affect our relationship. We made a deal on it since I really like reading and sharing, but I'm not sure how much I can handle.
My wife says she will watch me more closely when I'm here to monitor my mood - it's always good to have a second set of eyes. I'll reduce the amount of time I spend here, but will continue to come here at least for the near future, and I'll post like I have been doing. I'll limit the number of threads I read in order to keep the load to one I can handle. If we find it becomes a drain on us, then I'll withdraw for a while, and evaluate with her whether or not it is a good idea to return. That seems a reasonable approach.
Those who give encouragement for us to keep posting, thank you. I guess if we're going to continue on here, we really need to hear from you, too.
It's sad, but it's also inspiring at times.
There are just as many people who enjoy hearing positive stories.
If there wasn't anything positive on this site, I would never come here.
I may be in a dark place right now, but at least I know there is still LIFE to be lived. There is hope for normal.
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Re: So Sad... 
