I gave my wife a gift and card which seemed very happy with. I think v day is such a hallmark holiday but I figure it's no big deal to buy her a gift anyway! Since we dont have sex any other days of the year I have no expectations that I would have sex on v day so I am not disappointed because that's just the way our relationship is. Posted via Mobile Device
While in a sexless marriage, I always thought that NOT doing something would just extend the sexless period. So I made sure I did something on that day and guess what? The sexless period just continued.
If you aren't addressing it before Valentines Day, doing something that day isn't going to help.
I consider my marriage pretty close to sexless; once or twice a month, and problems associated with that!
My H is sick with a bad cold right now, so I knew there'd be no sex on the table...but I bought valentine's cupcakes for the family, and he surprised me with a card and a Pandora charm with his initial (matches the one with my initial). He loves me. We're working on the sexless part. I'm very encouraged.
It's all perspective but once or twice a month doesn't sound even close to sexless to me! Now, zero times per year which is what goes on in my relationship is sexless.. Posted via Mobile Device
He mumbled "happy valentine's day" over the phone from work, which I do appreciate, though by this point, any gesture of affection from him (not that they happen much) feels kind of creepy.
I didn't acknowledge valentines day at all -the I knew she wouldn't acknowledge it either. Not sure if she had expected it or not. But I did wish others happy v day.
There's nothing happy neither special on this day for us. She never has expressed appreciation for me.
So on this v day I told her of the news that I will be moving out shortly and separating - more than likely it will lead to divorce. Not what I want but its necessary for me to to get more of a sane mind.
Been a number of years ago but I after eight or so years in a virtual sexless marriage I'd spend it with one of my several different mistresses. The next few years wasn't sexless. I finally ended the so called marriage, lost most of my assets, but gained the peace of mind and living a lie. My situation is now different.
I got a greeting only after I greeted him. Nothing different than any other day; fall asleep on my own wakeup w/o even knowing he jumped into bed. Yay me... *sigh* Posted via Mobile Device
Can relate to that. To some that might sound insensitive but talk a walk in my shoes and then comment.
Birthdays, anniversaries, V day have been sexless just like any other day.
V day for me was on the motorbike for a while while she watches some cooking or reality show. Better that way, at least avoid being accused of being oversexed, or "I'm not here to give you pleasure" bla bla bla.
She hates the motorbike, I love it. She aint taking that pleasure away. Say no more.
Years ago I tried researching the origin of the 10 times a year or less definition of sexless marriage and despite many hours of research I could never find the original citation. It is just something that is repeated over and over again by Sexperts pushing books and know-nothing Journalists who once in awhile write about sexless marriages.
You are either in a sexless marriage or you're not. If you are having sex just once a year you are NOT in a sexless marriage. Saying you are is an insult to those who really are not having any sex at all in their marriages- many for years or even decades.
Before the day of no fault divorce in the US, 18 months of no sex was considered the legal definition of constructive abandonment. So I guess that legally speaking sex less often than that is sexless.
Although constructive abandonment can include sexual relations, I have never seen a time frame put on this before...it is very interesting! Where did you see this and what states did this apply to? Posted via Mobile Device
If I as the husband decided to get on the drink everyday or gamble constantly, we all would agree that this could be a problem for the family and I should stop or seek treatment.
Now, what if I refused ? Well what a low life uncaring bastard I am, I'm doing these things and ruining the family.
So if a wife ensures the marriage is sexless and this puts a strain on the marriage, this is acceptable ????
See my wife reckons there is no problem and really has no interest. But what about the impact on the marriage ?
We didn't have any money, so I made him his fave meal and I think I got a "happy valentines day" from him. When I was single I used to cry because I didn't have anyone to make it a special day with... seems like I'm pretty much in the same boat, just living with him.
reading this kind of stuff makes me glad that my wife is old fashioned and Christian and believes that it's her duty to make sure I am sexually satisfied and visa versa.
I won't describe that belief as "old fashioned" and though it is often claimed as a growing view point among some Christians, I wouldn't describe it as traditional.
However, no matter its origin congrats and I hope you guys stay happy.
This year I bought her a card on behalf of my son. It was cute but not remotely romantic. In the past couple of years the lack of romance seemed to have escaped her notice but this year she didn't say anything but I detected a note of sadness.
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