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Valentines Day in a Sexless Marriage

9K views 35 replies 20 participants last post by  Lionelhutz 
#1 ·
For those of you in a sexless marriage, what if anything do you do to note the Day?
 
#4 ·
I gave my wife a gift and card which seemed very happy with. I think v day is such a hallmark holiday but I figure it's no big deal to buy her a gift anyway! Since we dont have sex any other days of the year I have no expectations that I would have sex on v day so I am not disappointed because that's just the way our relationship is.
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#8 ·
I consider my marriage pretty close to sexless; once or twice a month, and problems associated with that!

My H is sick with a bad cold right now, so I knew there'd be no sex on the table...but I bought valentine's cupcakes for the family, and he surprised me with a card and a Pandora charm with his initial (matches the one with my initial). He loves me. We're working on the sexless part. I'm very encouraged.
 
#10 ·
I didn't acknowledge valentines day at all -the I knew she wouldn't acknowledge it either. Not sure if she had expected it or not. But I did wish others happy v day.

There's nothing happy neither special on this day for us. She never has expressed appreciation for me.

So on this v day I told her of the news that I will be moving out shortly and separating - more than likely it will lead to divorce. Not what I want but its necessary for me to to get more of a sane mind.
 
#17 ·
Been a number of years ago but I after eight or so years in a virtual sexless marriage I'd spend it with one of my several different mistresses. The next few years wasn't sexless. I finally ended the so called marriage, lost most of my assets, but gained the peace of mind and living a lie. My situation is now different.
 
#28 ·
Can relate to that. To some that might sound insensitive but talk a walk in my shoes and then comment.

Birthdays, anniversaries, V day have been sexless just like any other day.

V day for me was on the motorbike for a while while she watches some cooking or reality show. Better that way, at least avoid being accused of being oversexed, or "I'm not here to give you pleasure" bla bla bla.

She hates the motorbike, I love it. She aint taking that pleasure away. Say no more.
 
#26 ·
Years ago I tried researching the origin of the 10 times a year or less definition of sexless marriage and despite many hours of research I could never find the original citation. It is just something that is repeated over and over again by Sexperts pushing books and know-nothing Journalists who once in awhile write about sexless marriages.

You are either in a sexless marriage or you're not. If you are having sex just once a year you are NOT in a sexless marriage. Saying you are is an insult to those who really are not having any sex at all in their marriages- many for years or even decades.
 
#31 ·
If I as the husband decided to get on the drink everyday or gamble constantly, we all would agree that this could be a problem for the family and I should stop or seek treatment.

Now, what if I refused ? Well what a low life uncaring bastard I am, I'm doing these things and ruining the family.

So if a wife ensures the marriage is sexless and this puts a strain on the marriage, this is acceptable ????

See my wife reckons there is no problem and really has no interest. But what about the impact on the marriage ?

Think I'm drawing a low bow, I dont think so.
 
#36 ·
Since I didn't answer my own question,

This year I bought her a card on behalf of my son. It was cute but not remotely romantic. In the past couple of years the lack of romance seemed to have escaped her notice but this year she didn't say anything but I detected a note of sadness.
 
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