Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
he never helps expects me to do it all and i get resentful
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No we never talk about sex any more. What's the point? It's always just the same old same old. "Yeah yeah I'll try" secretly thinking, that'll shut him up.
I have suggested we go to councelling and her response to that was, "Only Americans go tocouncelling and look how they are. Loud mouth crack pots and retards".
On the odd occasions when we would have sex, it got so bad, I don't want to do it with her any more.
Even when we go away, we have never had sex.
That's why I turned things around andconcentrated on all te other areas of our marriage. Weeded out what worked and what didn't.
why do you think he is like this?
he actually told be he is a very horny man lol
if he was he would touch and want me right?
he always has a excuse, although he claims there genuine problems and he is just too tired
he seems to prefer computers games and sleep to me!
if i push him to far he threatens to sleep on the couch
its all very frustrating for me
to me a happy relationship is about lots of sex, he disagrees
he says marruage is about companionship
I was confused too. By the sex therapist we saw for a while suggested that I somehow see sex as something Taboo and dirty, and in my respect for my wife, see her as something that should not be "defiled" in such a way. The therapist referenced men who won't have sex with their wife, but will have sex with prostitutes instead. -She was not making a suggestion-
I related to her observation, except that I rarely fantasize about anyone, and when I do It IS about my wife. ???
I was confused too. By the sex therapist we saw for a while suggested that I somehow see sex as something Taboo and dirty, and in my respect for my wife, see her as something that should not be "defiled" in such a way. The therapist referenced men who won't have sex with their wife, but will have sex with prostitutes instead. -She was not making a suggestion-
I related to her observation, except that I rarely fantasize about anyone, and when I do It IS about my wife. ???
i cant even get him to a therapist
i think maybe he does see sex as something dirty and disgusting i dont know why
i doubt he fantazises about anyone
he
can be very moody some days rarely speaking whn i try to get him to open up, he swears and shouts at me
its no way to live
are you happy living like that?
he never helps expects me to do it all and i get resentful
(Unquote)
No we never talk about sex any more. What's the point? It's always just the same old same old. "Yeah yeah I'll try" secretly thinking, that'll shut him up.
I have suggested we go to councelling and her response to that was, "Only Americans go tocouncelling and look how they are. Loud mouth crack pots and retards".
On the odd occasions when we would have sex, it got so bad, I don't want to do it with her any more.
Even when we go away, we have never had sex.
That's why I turned things around andconcentrated on all te other areas of our marriage. Weeded out what worked and what didn't.
ive tried to get him to talk about sex to no avail, it just gets him angry and makes me cry
yes i agree when the rare time we do have sex its sooo bad it just wasnt worth the arguments he cleary doesnt enjoy it but why?
he wont see a counsellor
all this is really getting me down its all very frustrating
i keep thinking back to when we have been away on holiday no change there
we went away for a few days 2 years ago to venice for my birthday no sex at all he said the bed was lumpy and his shoulder hurt
then there was the time we spent xmas in portugal he had a headache and so on
seems like excuses to me
And then I was thinking, even if through some strange process called 'magic' she ever did anything about sex, ever again, even once, it would be so boring and vanilla it would be pointless anyway. Reading here what middle aged couples consider average and normal is so so so far out of what wifey would ever consider in a million years, it's hardly worth the effort to even bring it up.
ive tried to get him to talk about sex to no avail, it just gets him angry and makes me cry
yes i agree when the rare time we do have sex its sooo bad it just wasnt worth the arguments he cleary doesnt enjoy it but why?
he wont see a counsellor
Hi carolina ~
Even if your husband won't see a counselor, how about you seeing one?
Seriously, having a spouse that constantly rejects you and refuses to participate in many aspects of the relationship, slowly starts to erode your sense of self-esteem and self worth away. Many people become riddled with fear about moving on and get caught in a paralysis of doing nothing.
You cannot change your husband.
You CAN change YOU. YOU can see that you are a valuable person who is worthy of contentment and happiness. YOU can see that you are someone who is worthy of respect.
At the very least, YOU can give THOSE THINGS to YOURSELF, and not depend so much on whether your husband is giving you things to validate you. Learn to validate yourself, and you may see your husband, your relationship, and your life with much clearer eyes - and you may see a very strong path forward.
like what for instance? where do i start? he was very moody last night he just doesnt open up to me and i find it all very frustrating
Go to a counselor yourself. Keep flirting here and there. Try to passionately kiss him. Make friends with other couples or join a social or church group. Get him to lead the way in decisions as much as possible--just refuse to make a decision one day without him telling you what he wants.
Even if your husband won't see a counselor, how about you seeing one?
Seriously, having a spouse that constantly rejects you and refuses to participate in many aspects of the relationship, slowly starts to erode your sense of self-esteem and self worth away. Many people become riddled with fear about moving on and get caught in a paralysis of doing nothing.
You cannot change your husband.
You CAN change YOU. YOU can see that you are a valuable person who is worthy of contentment and happiness. YOU can see that you are someone who is worthy of respect.
At the very least, YOU can give THOSE THINGS to YOURSELF, and not depend so much on whether your husband is giving you things to validate you. Learn to validate yourself, and you may see your husband, your relationship, and your life with much clearer eyes - and you may see a very strong path forward.
Best wishes.
yes it has affected my self esteem i do feel worthless
i have a right to hapiness
he was moody last night
i tried aagian and he said quite firmly dont start and leave me alone
its not fair
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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
Yeah, but if you know one person who is married, you can ask them to do a couples thing.
Not wanting to hijack this thread, but replying for completeness.
You know one person in the marriage. You don't know the other partner, and perhaps more crucially, you don't know anything about the marriage. You don't know if these are the sort of couple who swing from the lights or a couple who never talk to one another. Most people in the UK don't discuss their partners with other people except on the most superficial level.
__________________
Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
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Re: i am a sex starved wife help!! 
