A man in his late 20's not wanting sex every day with an admittably HOT wife -who you say you love (well "most of the time" ) feeling it is a burden & a chore ....and you admit you are the touchy feely type.....I'm very curious to help you figure this out......
You mention you get the looks of ENVY and confusion when you go out -- what is the CONFUSION about? IF
you had lower Testosterone levels
, you would feel this in other ways, it would affect your ENERGY levels to some degree.... feeling more tired than normal, do you require ALOT of sleep ? Like falling asleep after work, you may feel a little depressed, brain fog at times, plus this would affect your desire for sex , you just wouldn't have the urge & lust of other men your age. (that part seems to fit) Do you get morning erections? Struggle with erections- to have sex with you wife near every day ? DO you masterbate in addition to sex with your wife? Or do you feel even that is repulsive? DId you do this before you married -how did you feel about that ?
Are are you taking any meds to interfere with your hormones working properly, saying you can only finish 5% of the time -some meds can delay ejaculation & make this much more difficult, we have a guy friend who takes adderall & his wife told me it takes him like an hour to get his, it wears her out. (But he still loves sex ). Many depression meds can also zap the sex drive terribly.
Any relationship RESENTMENT
built up in the marriage - you did not seem to hint to this in any way, other than her loving sex & wanting to talk about it all the time. She can probably feel your reluctance and it hurts her, that is like a rejection to her. If you want a fullfilling marraige in all ways, you will need to overcome in these areas...get to the root of this problem.
I find sex, repulsive and undignifying. She always wants to talk about sex and I find it very uncomfortable. ......
The only reason I do have sex with her is because I want her to be satisfied, and I worry about her cheating in the case she isnt. I feel cold most of the time, numb to most emotions in the relationship. I tell her I love her and I feel like a liar. I dont have alot of experience in relationships. I havent had many sexual partners because of my faith. I just dont enjoy it.
I am confused on whether you love your wife or not at this point... You said you DO, then you said "MOST OF THE TIME", and here you say you feel like a liar??
Why do you feel COLD and NUMB to emotions ? Is this with others in your life as well, family -friends, in addition to your wife?
Of course Stonewall is right, I am thinking the whole time.... Sexual repression
, sexual repression...
What faith are you ? Do you feel what you were taught has led to unhealthy sexual hang ups ?? To some of us who take our faith very seriously, we can't seem to cross the bridge fully in "adventerous freedom in sex " after the marraige -if we have been too indoctrinated by "putting down the flesh" while dating. I had issues to a small degree, but I still loved the pleasure at the same time - just took on alot of guilt for enjoying it. I've read stories where other felt so wrong about desiring sex before marriage, they felt their was something wrong with them, they prayed to the point of wanting these feelings of lust to go away --then found their whole psyche turned OFF to wanting or enjoying the act. Very sad, they did need extensive counseling as it affected their marriage badly, intimacy was lost in addition.
Sex is one of the most beautiful things God has created, we need not feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it , express how it feels and to want to show our deep love in this way. I can't think of anything more freeing in existence to overcome fully in this area....what a blessing to a marraige!! Sexual Guilt Without A Clutch: From Sexual Guilt to Sex Positive
If your faith is Christian, this is a great book on the beauty of sex in marriage >>> Amazon.com: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (9782913356559): Kevin Leman: Books