Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My stbxh has always been disgusted by his own semen. If he ejaculates on my chest he will usually gag if he looks at it afterwards. If he by chance has to clean some up he starts dry heaving heavily. Now this isle has only mildly irritated me throughout our marriage and has no bearing on our divorce either, I was just wondering how normal or abnormal it is for a guy to be soooooo grossed out by his own stuff. One more thing, he has no issue with going down on me or my bodily fluids. He would often try, sometimes successfully to get me to have sex while on my period. But cum is gross??? I don't get it. Any insight as to why he's like this? FYI I have flat out asked him and he says its just gross no reason why.
Maybe he had a bad experience with it or something? Tasted his own and thought it was gross and can't stand even seeing it now...like when you get food poisoning from something and then can't stand to be around that food anymore?
Don't know - only he can tell you what happened to him to form his beliefs.
that's very odd i think i cannot understand how one finds it gross.
Also shocks me when some guys say they will not kiss a woman after she has given him oral. Lol its your own body she is touching far from gross its not like you are sucking a penis. Its your own penis and she is pleasuring you might as well kiss her if she wants to.
Norajane I never thought of that before you could be on to something. I have never told him this before but I think he's such a huge homophobe that even his own semen is gross because it's male ejaculate. I have nothing to back up this theory except for the fact that he has HUGE issues with overtly homosexual men.
Goldmember, I don't get that either. My stbx wasn't bad about it if I went up for a kiss during oral but after he came no way. I think he would have died of shock/ utter disgust if I ever snowballed him lol.
Norajane I never thought of that before you could be on to something. I have never told him this before but I think he's such a huge homophobe that even his own semen is gross because it's male ejaculate. I have nothing to back up this theory except for the fact that he has HUGE issues with overtly homosexual men.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
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Re: Husband disgusted by his own semen
Not to the extent that you are describing with you husband, but there is something that happens with my orgasm that might be interesting, and it has absolutely nothing to do with homophobia nor with being gay.
I've described elsewhere that I am one that became hyper-sensitive after orgasm, but that has mostly conditioned out after some work because my wife likes to build from my orgasm to her last orgasm of the session. During the hypersensitive time, I also had a sudden disinterest immediately after orgasm. What this means is that while I'm building to orgasm, everything sexual sounds very appealing, and the thought even of having my own semen in my mouth if my wife wanted to play with it would have been appealing.
Immediately, when I had an orgasm, the hyper-sensitivity set into my penis, and at the same time, things such as the thought of my own semen in my mouth became very unappealing. The thought of it being unappealing passed about the same time as the hyper-sensitivity, so in about the next 45 seconds to a minute.
I think I got past this during my wife's second pregnancy. I've described elsewhere how she became very amorous during this time - to the point I struggled to keep up. One of the things that suddenly became appealing to her during that pregnancy was to stop me right before I had an orgasm and finish me orally, then she wanted to start kissing me immediately. Obviously, she still smelled and tasted of my semen whether it was still in her mouth or not. The first time or two of this, it was about all I could do to stand it, but I've always been very conscientious about wanting to give her what she wanted, so I strained through it and cooperated. After a little while, and I don't know for sure how many times this was, it stopped being an issue for me.
I still have a little drop-off in appeal immediately after I orgasm, so things that sound very appealing immediately before are not so interesting immediately after, but I don't have to struggle to deal with it anymore - haven't had to for years. But I do understand that there can be some struggle immediately after orgasm ... in my case, it went away after about a minute, and everything was again appealing as it was before orgasm. I guess you could describe that as being like the hyper-sensitivity, only it was for the whole sexual nervous system, and not just the head of my penis.
That's really kind for strange. I haven problem with my own. Felt it, have tasted it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have even "finger" painted with it on her stomach. My wife on the other hand she hates it. If I do manage to get cum in her mouth she spits and runs to the bathroom to rinse her mouth out.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,863
Re: Husband disgusted by his own semen
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wantsmore
He is going to be your ex, it is his hang up not yours. Move on and leave it at that. Most guys don't have an issue with their own fluids.
Sometimes, it's about learning more than about letting go or not. I learn a lot from people who post openly and honestly here, and I don't even think I have problems in my marriage at all. I try to post openly, and honestly, and in enough detail to allow someone else to learn from anything I may have. I can see why this would be a matter of curiousity from the OP's perspective, and if I was in her position, I'd probably like to learn more about it, too.
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Husband disgusted by his own semen 
