DawnD

RD's wife expects that and everyone ripped her a new one telling her she was unreasonable. But now that a woman is saying her husband expects it, she bait and switched him.

frankd

I just joined in.
In my humble opinion, I think the husband is being extremely insensitive and unrealistic. I know how he must feel, because a touch from my wife, or heck even a smile will set me off and I just gotta have her. But really, it's not candy and you don't have an unlimited budget. A guy gets horny, so what? He's got to cool his jets until the time is right.
It sounds to me like she is very accomodating and he should be appreciative of that. Therefore, he should give her some consideration and take it easy - it's not a marathon.
We've been married 22 years and it never gets old, so don't rush it!

hookares

Time has a way of changing us all. My ex insisted that I was an addict for thinking we should be having sex at least three times per week baring lack of availability. Turned out that she was having it far more than that, only not with me. Presently, I am willing anytime the possibility arises. If it doesn't, I can always do as I did for most of the twenty years I was married and give myself a hand.
No way would I consider forcing a woman to accommodate me, but don't expect it to be an issue in the future since I plan to have no more long term relationships.

Bottled Up

Alcohol is a "drug" too... you react to this making it sound like pot is heroin or something...

If you did the research on pot you'd find out that scientifically it is less harmful than both alcohol and cigarettes, yet both are legal. The illegality of pot it simply politically-driven, otherwise it's effects are scientifically minor if taken responsibly.

Some of the legalized pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by counselors are even worse than pot too. To each their own... it's an option if she wants to think about it. Hers (and his) prerogative.

TallJeff

Well imagine how he feels when you won't kiss him then. Or when you go 2 weeks without sex. Because that's how he's feeling.

Oh that's untrue. Most may not. Some most certainly will.

Again untrue. I do at least 3 times a day nearly every day. Late 30s. And I know some of my male friends do the same.


But I think the OP & hubby need to come to an agree. If he's the sole bread winner AND makes dinner AND puts the kids to sleep, the OP should have plenty of energy.

Compromising at say 3x per week with the understanding that every hug & kiss (which the OP needs and deserves) in between need not signify the start of sex.

And that if he's gotten it 3x in the last 7 days, he CAN NOT complain.

Those seems like an example of fair ground rules.

marriedinnh

Doesn't addiction have criteria like:

Can't stop if you wanted to... but she says he's stopped taking matters into his own hands and has cut down to 5 days a week?

Is impairing work or family life... but doesn't she say he's supporting his family and they get along great?

I'm not saying she doesn't have a valid concern, clearly she does. But it doesn't seem right to make an off hand diagnosis like that.