Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have noticed alot of questions about what women wear to bed but Mine is specific to when sex is implied. I am curious what everyone is wearing to bed when they are planning for sex. For the past 5 years my wife has been wearing pajamas regardless of sex or not. And although they are from victoria's secret, they are still pants and a shirt and require alot of effort to remove once things start to get going. And cotton panties underneath dont do alot either.
I am not talking about trashy "porn influenced" stuff either. She has a few short silk nightgowns (short, above the knees) that she use to wear with silk panties that were easy to get under and remove allowing for sex with the gown still on (sometimes that was even sexier, feeling her through the fabric.
Anyway am I being unrealistic about her wearing something sexy. Her take is what does it matter because it will just come off soon enough anyway.
So I am asking what do you "real women wear to bed for sex? Fredericks? Victoria's Secret?
Nothing...I always found that lingerie wasn't appreciated all that much. I'd put in all kinds of time and effort, and it's like they'd never even notice. But that's just me.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,873
Re: Lingerie Question
I posted elsewhere about this, but my wife is mostly practical. We don't always plan for sex to happen for an evening. When she does, she may wear sexy lingerie, or may just come to bed naked.
Most times, she wears two piece pajamas that are warm because it's never really warm (as in Central US summertime warm) where we live, and she wants to stay warm. She likes the two piece because she wants me to touch her while we are going to sleep, and the two piece pajamas gives me easy access to make skin-skin contact with her without pulling them to where they are no longer warm. She may lie on her side facing away from me and want me to snuggle behind her, and cup her breast with my hand. And she wants me to have pretty easy access to her butt or her pubic area when in other positions as we fall asleep. Of course, we also have turns where I'm on my back and she snuggles up to me. I don't wear pajamas because being a little cooler makes it more comfortable for us to snuggle the way she likes.
It develops to sex sometimes when she is in her warm pajamas. I am pretty much expert at getting them off quickly if needed.
The way it works for us, I never think of the warmer pajamas as a hindrance to intimacy. They are actually practical while making for nice intimate touching and gentle times together while falling asleep together.
I have noticed alot of questions about what women wear to bed but Mine is specific to when sex is implied. I am curious what everyone is wearing to bed when they are planning for sex. For the past 5 years my wife has been wearing pajamas regardless of sex or not. And although they are from victoria's secret, they are still pants and a shirt and require alot of effort to remove once things start to get going. And cotton panties underneath dont do alot either.
I am not talking about trashy "porn influenced" stuff either. She has a few short silk nightgowns (short, above the knees) that she use to wear with silk panties that were easy to get under and remove allowing for sex with the gown still on (sometimes that was even sexier, feeling her through the fabric.
Anyway am I being unrealistic about her wearing something sexy. Her take is what does it matter because it will just come off soon enough anyway.
So I am asking what do you "real women wear to bed for sex? Fredericks? Victoria's Secret?
Most men who have a preference generally get their wive's sizes and do the shopping. It's really embarassing for a woman to go into a lingerie shop to buy her own stuff...it's so much sexier when a guy makes these arrangements and gifts the goodies in a way that makes her want to wear them. My first serious boyfriend was really quite unashamed of doing this: he worked next to a lingerie shop...and guess what, I went in there 20+ years later having to buy something to keep my marriage together (husband had continued 'friendship' with an ex...and I found out while he was deployed...had asked but he'd lied...) and mentioned how they'd moved their shop since the old days...when I last got stuff FROM there but not personally, and they remembered who I was. I felt so sad for myself that here I was having to buy my own stuff, explained the situation to them, and they agreed. They said they really liked it too when men came in to buy stuff for their woman.
Once your woman gets a feel for what you like, she might surprise you now and then with a little accessory or something you didn't expect, this is what money plus a little bit more (to buy yourself something) is for, once in a while, with a wink...the message there is that if she chooses to buy something she knows you like, you're in!
A woman would rather spend her time honing her bedroom skills than earning money to spend on turning on a guy. I mean, come on, we have to buy bras and tampax and hosiery and stuff, and we can't just wear our shorts to go swimming either. How about an equalizer? It's not just the money, though, it's about providing what you like...rather than leaving it to chance. Most of the time.
For me, I'd wear (almost) anything provided for that purpose. I'm not stingy in that respect. And if it doesn't fit, there is always the option of exchange, but at least there's a starting point.
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,873
Re: Lingerie Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno
Most men who have a preference generally get their wive's sizes and do the shopping. It's really embarassing for a woman to go into a lingerie shop to buy her own stuff...it's so much sexier when a guy makes these arrangements and gifts the goodies in a way that makes her want to wear them. My first serious boyfriend was really quite unashamed of doing this: he worked next to a lingerie shop...and guess what, I went in there 20+ years later having to buy something to keep my marriage together (husband had continued 'friendship' with an ex...and I found out while he was deployed...had asked but he'd lied...) and mentioned how they'd moved their shop since the old days...when I last got stuff FROM there but not personally, and they remembered who I was. I felt so sad for myself that here I was having to buy my own stuff, explained the situation to them, and they agreed. They said they really liked it too when men came in to buy stuff for their woman.
Once your woman gets a feel for what you like, she might surprise you now and then with a little accessory or something you didn't expect, this is what money plus a little bit more (to buy yourself something) is for, once in a while, with a wink...the message there is that if she chooses to buy something she knows you like, you're in!
A woman would rather spend her time honing her bedroom skills than earning money to spend on turning on a guy. I mean, come on, we have to buy bras and tampax and hosiery and stuff, and we can't just wear our shorts to go swimming either. How about an equalizer? It's not just the money, though, it's about providing what you like...rather than leaving it to chance. Most of the time.
For me, I'd wear (almost) anything provided for that purpose. I'm not stingy in that respect. And if it doesn't fit, there is always the option of exchange, but at least there's a starting point.
Always learning I am ... Now, I'm thinking again about a comment I heard the other day ... I'm amazed at how dense I can be sometimes ...
I'm never embarrassed to go buy my own stuff. O.o I strike a convo with the person behind the counter and talk about dildos and lubes and outfits.
Whatever. It's just sex. probably the ONE thing most of us have in common.
I'm not embarassed by the goods, it's embarassing to be the one who is doing the buying when the norm for the locale is that the guys do the buying. It's so sad if you want your guy to be the buying kind (and not the cheating lying kind either...but the kind that wants you to wear stuff but tells you to get it yourself...sigh) and you go to shop and you have to get someone's opinion who's not even your husband (and they do offer their opinion...it's a small town, lol. I know what all the guys think about me, and to be honest, most are sincere about their expressions, and also respectful...they think my stbxh is an idiot.)
Anyway, if future guy friend likes me in something, I will send him to 'the shop' and I'm sure he'll be game enough.
Always learning I am ... Now, I'm thinking again about a comment I heard the other day ... I'm amazed at how dense I can be sometimes ...
Ok, let's hear it!!!!
I think it's funny I know the preferences of my friends/acquaintances husbands...and guys I wouldn't date...
well, at least what they'd dress me up in if they were dressing me up. I don't know why people get all squeamish about lingerie, I mean, really, buying a dress or complimenting someone on a dress is basically the same as lingerie. Dresses are meant for showcasing...well not work dresses but going out dresses...
Location: On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier ... but you can't count on the days to be clear here ...
Posts: 1,873
Re: Lingerie Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno
Ok, let's hear it!!!!
I think it's funny I know the preferences of my friends/acquaintances husbands...and guys I wouldn't date...
well, at least what they'd dress me up in if they were dressing me up. I don't know why people get all squeamish about lingerie, I mean, really, buying a dress or complimenting someone on a dress is basically the same as lingerie. Dresses are meant for showcasing...well not work dresses but going out dresses...
It wasn't really about lingerie, it was about a cute little French maid outfit with no underwear. When I suggested we look, she became embarassed about looking for it, so I didn't take it seriously, and I let it drop. Your comment about women wanting men to buy it for them made me think back and wonder what she was really asking me for. I'm not at all embarassed to go buy it for her if I can get the size right ... I'm not good a guessing these things and I can't really ask anyone to model it for me .
There may be a little maid outfit in our near future ...
It wasn't really about lingerie, it was about a cute little French maid outfit with no underwear. When I suggested we look, she became embarassed about looking for it, so I didn't take it seriously, and I let it drop. Your comment about women wanting men to buy it for them made me think back and wonder what she was really asking me for. I'm not at all embarassed to go buy it for her if I can get the size right ... I'm not good a guessing these things and I can't really ask anyone to model it for me .
There may be a little maid outfit in our near future ...
Go into her lingerie drawer and borrow a couple, or at least write the sizes down. The bra tags are usually somewhere on the band...at least for the ordinary stuff the sizes are on the band somewhere, or on a tag. If you can't find one with a tag you'll have to borrow it...if you get busted say you needed something to touch on your lunch hour
Hey, don't forget the feather duster that goes with the outfit.
Oh definitely makes me feel sexy, but if I'm going to feel that way, I might as well be hitting the mark on the other end, no use feeling that way if nobody's going to do anything about it.
5Likes
Lingerie Question 
They're fun and they are left on during sex. He loves that!
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