4kids1bathroom

Recently, I realized after viewing internet history that my husband of 3 years spent a significant amount of time looking at porn videos during an afternoon. I was home also but was outside working in the yard. Earlier that morning we had sex. It would not bother me so much but he specifically searched for "incest" videos and viewed about 15 of them most all where titled "brother and sister.......blah blah " After confronting him about this and asking him if this is what he was into he stated "it’s just porn, doesn't matter what kind or what the title is" It seems to me that the tittle is important because that is what sets the scene of the fantacy while watching it. My question to men is : Would you consider it just porn? Does the tittle to the porn video matter? This really bothers me and disgusts me very much that he would watch this and is a huge turn off. I should say that our sex life is has been very normal but we have never watched porn together. Am I married to a pervert?? Please Help!!!!!!!!

trey69

I guess it depends. If someone searched for big breast porn, thats likely what they will get. Although I'm sure there are some titles than could be misleading, but, generally if thats what the title says thats probably what kind it is.

Surely the type your husband searched for wasn't actually brother/sister but people who played that role in the video. However, the mere fact he would search that is just odd. And even more odd was his response, "Its doesn't matter the title its just porn." Would he feel the same way if it was child porn? "Its just porn?"

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"When people are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, that's when they will make a change."

4kids1bathroom

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nader

I would probably just let it go, unless you see any other red flags. Who knows what made him type 'incest' into the search field.. it is just as likely that this was only a passing thought and meant nothing..

Schill

Porn really messes with your brain. Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn.

I've heard of things like people not being able to get it up for sex with women, not being able to ejaculate, etc. It's not healthy, and the more weird and crazy things they need to get off, the worse it gets.

4kids1bathroom

@trey69 to clarify since I had the video URL's I looked at a couple of the video's and they were home or amiture videos with not very attractive woman. Which was his other excuss " maybe the women are hot". If he is "ok" with incest what else it he ok with and how can I get him to tell me the truth about what is really going on?
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Alittlefunnnn

Maybe the truth you're looking for is what you found? Maybe he gets off to incest videos? If he had 1 incest video maybe that could have passed as a mistake but 10? Listen where there is smoke there is fire HOWEVER maybe, just maybe, this is JUST a fantasy. Meaning, some people like having their nipples zapped with electricity and that turns them on. Maybe he's turned on by role playing like a brother & sister knocking boots. Maybe his entire sexual fantasy involved a brotherly sisterly bond with a woman that evolves to sex?

Maybe he's so scared of that part of his sexual desire that he rathers watch porn about it than actually attempt to explain it to you. Maybe he's more scared of your reaction than any satisfaction he might get from explaining it to you even if their is a slight possibility that you would indulge him in his fantasy.

Only he knows that makes him tick. I would say that what makes him tick is watching porn where a brother & sister are knocking boots but again it doesn't mean it makes it his ENTIRE fantasy. Maybe the porn he watched was the very end result of that fantasy itself.

As for me I like porn where the woman can't get enough and wants to be submissive to the man during intercourse. In real life I like this too but not every single time either.

tacoma

I see it as being in the realm of fantasy.

One of the biggest fantasies women have is the rape fantasy.
They want to be taken, forced, dominated and even hurt in these fantasies.
Do you think they`d ever actually want to live out these fantasies?

I don`t think so.

It`s probably the taboo of incest that gets him going but if his sister offered to go down on him he`d undoubtedly vomit.

MSP

The brain numbs to predictability. Something once exciting stops being exciting and we search for a new spin on it--or more of it--to get the same measure of excitement. It's like drugs. So guys who once got instantly aroused by a flash of boobs might now need to find "midget homo porn" to get off. HERE is an article that talks about this sort of thing. From the article:

HERE, HERE, and HERE are similar articles. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of studies showing the negative effects of porn for a couple of reasons. One is that it's next to impossible to find a control group (people who have never used porn). And secondly, because the US government seems to be against studies that show porn in a negative light and it's hard to get funding.

flnative

I'd say his choice of porn is kinda strange. Porn in general is not good for men or marriage, but that being said I can't say that I haven't looked. However, never searched for or viewed incest porn....I'd ask him why he didn't approach you for sex if you were there.

Jamison

If I were interested in Asian women thats probably what I would search for in a video. If I was into women with big butts or big breasts thats probably what I would search for. Even if its just a fantasy, IMO thats kinda crossing the line. Whether he would actually engage in a incestuous relationship is beside the point, the fact is, the thought of it was there enough for him to search for that kind of video to begin with.

jaquen

I really don't think the kind of porn a man chooses to watch has much of anything to do with what he's willing to, or interested in doing, in real life, at least not in most cases. Do you know how popular transgender porn is for straight men? Most are not out here sexing it up with "chicks with ****s".

Do you know what the largest study in internet porn searches just revealed? Granny porn is one of the most consumed porn categories among men. Are you afraid your husband is trolling the local geriatric care facility, trolling for aging vagina?

If you take issue with porn, let it be the fact that he's relying on it. If you feel the need to discuss that, have at it (and good luck). But what kind of porn he gets off to, in this totally fictional, fantasy realm is really none of your concern if it's not encroaching at all on your sex life. People are turned on by strange things in porn, and that almost never has reflections on real life desires. He probably doesn't even have a clear idea of why he's turned on by it. Most people with viewing habits outside of the accepted norm don't really understand why they enjoy the porn that they do. Often times if they've been watching "normal" porn for a long time, they'll find themselves just turning to more and more extreme scenarios to get themselves off.

SoWhat

I'm of two minds here:

one, it's fantasy.
But, honestly:

I've been looking at porn for over fifteen years. I have not "numbed of predictability" - I generally like looking at curvy women, often latinas or black women. Sometimes asians. I like a little bit of hardcore, but mostly softcore. Why? Cause that's the stuff that turns me on.

I doubt he'll go looking for one of his family members, but I'd find it...offputting.

SunnyT

And secondly, because the US government seems to be against studies that show porn in a negative light and it's hard to get funding.


Why would the government fund it? They fund too many ridiculous studies already. If you want to conduct a study, especially a biased one, find contributors of like mind....and conduct a study. Keep the government out of it.

Peachy Cat

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (incest) I find it very disturbing on a personal level. However, it may have nothing to do with his thoughts or desires.

With porn "addiction" (vs occasional loneliness porn watching), the addict seeks out more and more "out there" type porn. It's like any addiction: the same ol' same ol' doesn't cut it after a while and more and more is required to get the "fix".

I would be concerned that he's "branching out" because there's an ongoing addiction not being addressed.

I HATE PORN--all of it.

Thinking of you and wishing you peace.