My husband is not that type of man either , I have been with him for 30 yrs, married 22 yrs, trust me, you won't change them. I didn't marry a bad boy, I married more the "nice guy" type, I don't have any regrets , luckily in my youth, I was not looking for this sort of thing but later in life, I did kinda WANT some of that... and if anyone has tried to get their husband on board ...it was me.
I studied the subject... you are desiring an EROTIC LOVER
....defintion here :
Taken from this book When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex life
You need passion, excitement and variety to feel that your relationship is vibrant & sustainable. This means enjoying frequent sexual touch such as fondling the breasts, patting the bottom (SPANKING), stroking the genitals as well as having regular prolonged exciting sex. Downside is this>> Erotic lovers can be rigid & judgemental (probablay what some of us are picking up on). You tend to believe that you are more sophisticated, knowledgeable & flexible than your partner. However, your acceptance of variety only relates to sex with "an edge" activities, but only those that give you a thrill. You tend to be dismissive of quietly sensual & predictable lovemaking ('Vanilla Sex"). Erotic Libido types can therefore find that their ideal relationship is elusive. Your belief that an erotic sex life is the necessary foundation for a committed relationship can lead you to the conclusion that either your relationship or your partner has a problem if your sex life lacks the exact CHALLENGES you desire.
I would also venture to say many Nice Guys, those not so dominate in the bedroom (sounds like your man).... may fit the SENSUAL LOVER
description >>>> Sex for this lover is more about emotional connection & reinforcement of mutual caring, so the focus is less on what is actually done & more on whether your partner is willing to be physically intimate & is emotionally present during sex. You describe each other as best friends , you look for time together & are happy in each others company , you want sex to be an extension of this, with an easy familiarity & comfortable atmosphere & the most important aspect of sex is knowing that your partner looks forward to physical intimacy as much as you do. This is the man with the SLOW hand and the EASY Touch.
Book talks about 10 differnt libido types... Sensual, Erotic, Compulsive, Dependent, Stressed, Disinterested, Detached, Addictive, Entitled, and Reactive
Hes got to masterbate a bit after to get to the point that we can follow from the wall passion sorta speak
My question would be...how old is he? And I wonder if he is materbating too much , then when he gets with you, his Girlfriend...his sex drive is not raging enough , so he needs the extra stimulation to get hard again. Not all men can get hard just by "passion" though -especially if they are older, they DO need the extra stimulation -unless they haven't had sex in a while and are really dying for it, in need somehow.