crossbar

It also starts off in the home. He's only going to eat what you bring home. I mean, yeah...he can jump in the car and drive to a McD's. But, it's just easier to fix a tunafish sandwich, then go through all that trouble.

Also, buy a good quality pedometer. Counts all the steps he's taken in a day. Look at it at the end of each day and strive to increase the number daily.

Cogo123

You are right about slowly since he is very big
Walking may be the key to start out with
. Thank You for all the great advice.
Posted via Mobile Device

crossbar

Weird...but, I'm getting excited for you!

OKAY...so, get the pedometer, have "the talk" and get him walking. He's going to need the full use of the gym because of his weight, his legs won't be strong enough to support his body weight to perform rigorous exercise and he may develope shin splints. SO....to stop that from happening, he'll benefit from the exercise bike, crosstrainer, aqua jogs in the pool and whatever the trainer assigns that will be low impact on his legs and knees until his body weight drops.

When he first starts working out, the weight is gonna drop off FAST...then it will stop. THIS IS NORMAL. It's called hitting a plateau. Your body recongizes that's it losing a lot of weight and it's defense mechanism kicks in and won't allow you to drop a lot of weight. Unfortunately, this is when people get discouraged and quit. He has to push past the plateau and then the weight starts coming off again. You and the trainer have to tell him ahead of time, so if it happens he'll recongize it and continue to push through.....again, I want updates!!!!!

Entropy3000

I am all about exercise and diet and so on.

But at 400 lbs I am suggesting you look into something like a lapband in addition to the rest.

My wife lost 80 lbs with this. He could possibly lose 150 and be around 250. 250 can be worked with with diet and exercise more readily than 400.

__________________
My marriage to my wife Donna is a love story. -- Jim

Take My Breath Away

unbelievable

Link what you want with what he wants. He's a guy, so he probably wants sex. He goes to the gym and works out, pretend how much it turns you on to see him sweating and give him a little something. If I knew a trip to the gym would get me a little slap and tickle, I'd be working out three times a day.

bandit.45

Donkey and the carrot!

Cogo123

Update, I never thought I would be saying this but last week my hubby decided he wanted to join the gym last week. We have worked out every morning at 4;30am and worked out for at least an hr. We noticed that our stress levels were much less. We are eating better and I am actually optimistic about this whole thing. He seems very motivated and I have been feeding his ego. I can see he is surprised I noticed. I tell him how proud I am he is doing this. We treated ourselves today to a vanilla cone at dairy queen today. It was good. We satisfied our craving and we went right back to eating healthy. Looking forward to lots of gym time together and results which make us happier and healthier
Posted via Mobile Device

Dr. Rockstar

Okay, I'm just jumping into this thread...

Cogo, I'm thrilled to hear that your hubby's making an effort here. But as I'm tons of fun myself, I'll tell you that a guy your hubby's size can drop a lot of weight pretty quickly without much effort and then plateau. It's can be very disheartening after doing so well early on.

The key here is going to be your inspiration toward him. Others have said this already, but if you can find a way to make this a project for both of you to do together, he'll go a lot farther. Go running together, talk romantic walks if you can, anything to keep him focused on your progress. He will want to make himself healthier to make you happy.

A couple of odd suggestions... This the major hurdle for me, but when he starts to falter (like when just running becomes tedious), find ways to spice up his activity. I just took my son to Lazer Tag today, and after two 15 minute sessions, sweat was pouring off me. Do that three times a week (if I could afford it), and I'd lose the pounds in no time. I also do geocaching, which is essentially local treasure hunting but can involve walking several miles each day. Heck, there are even competitive dodgeball leagues up near me, maybe they are near you.

But the main things to remember are these: 1) He's got to want to do this for you for this to work; and 2) for him to want to do it for you, you're going to have to inspire him to do it.

Good luck.

Mr B

Lots of good advice here but I see a double standard I have witnessed before on other threads on this website and other websites dealing with sexless marriages.

When a woman posts a thread called "I like sex....just not with hubby" she gets a lot of kind words and encouragement and empathy. But have a guy post a thread called "I like sex, just not with my wife" chances are he will get crucified with a lot of posts, especially from women saying "oh your poor wife" or "if you were my husband I'd leave you in a minute" Somehow women not sexually attracted to their husbands get a free ride whereas men don't.

If a marriage is sexless because a husband with a normal sex drive simply can't stand to have sex with his wife and would rather be getting it elsewhere, the guy who posts this information better take cover as soon as he hits the send button.

crossbar

LOL! I am so happy for the two of you. CONGRATS! Like someone else said, he's going to drop a lot of weight fast and then, nothing for a little bit. Don't stop and get him to break through that wall! Continue to fix healthy meals for him and yourself.

Another thing you can do is get some bikes. Go on an evening bike ride together. Not only is it exercise but it's a nice time to connect and talk.

Has he lost anything yet? Like I said before I want updates!!!

Cogo123

We are starting to change our workout schedule to see what we like better. Instead of waking up @ 4:30 am we are going to work out after he gets home @ 8pm. We both are feeling better. I had bronchitis a few weeks back and at that point I lost 7 lbs. I do not know to date what we have lost but we can definitely tell we are on the right track. Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. This just may be what saves our marriage. All this time spent helping and motivating each other has brought us closer.
Posted via Mobile Device

Browncoat

I've read most of the posts, but I'm afraid I didn't read them all so sorry if this has already been suggested.

I'd strongly encourage him to find a work out buddy. Preferably a friend, but at the worst case perhaps a professional. Someone to help him stay focused and motivated. I know for me I used to work out all the time in college, not because I was a work out nut, but because my roommates and I would get the chance to talk and have fun for the next 90 minutes or so walking down and back and working out.

But yeah, everyone enjoys working out a ton more if it's fun. Also we would set goals for each other, and I know with a lot of men goals are important. Set realistic weight or strength goals. If it was me strength goals would be more "fun", meaning trying to reach a certain bench press weight I would push for 5 sets of 6 reps... that sort of thing. Biking on the machine at increasing cycling speeds for say 20 minutes.

Cogo123

Mr B~ you are right. That title to my email sounded bad. I guess that was my frustration talking. I love being with my husband and he is really funny and we have been together for a very long time. The problem isn't with him so much as it is with me. He can get excited and aroused by me but the difficult part is I cannot get sexually excited by him. Since we have been working out together I am seeing a different side of him and he is motivated. I think as we go thru this change together my feelings for him will return. I am seeing he does care about his health and appearance enough to want to change himself. That makes him more attractive to me already.
Posted via Mobile Device

Unhappy2011

He must consume a ginormous amount of calories in a day, many of which must be empty nutritionless calories high in cholesterol, sugar, sodium.

And doing so for years.

Just the detriment to his health, should be reason enough to eat better.

Heart attack? Diabetes?

A guy that size, the pounds will melt off with miminal changes, like drinking water instead of sodas, cut out the junk food and regular exercise. At that weight he should just be walking it off.

Unhappy2011

Yep.

Total double standards.

Whenever a man rants about his wife, gf or another woman, a bunch of other women take it personally and then circle the wagons and hurl shaming language at him to shut him up.

It's annoying, but then it just proves those women have an inferiority complex.