Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Sounds bad....but true.
I have been married for 20 yrs. and I really enjoy having sex but I am finding i7t difficult to get aroused because he weighs over 400 lbs. He is 6'6" but he is very overweight. I love sex but what do u do when your partner doesn't get you excited? You can't make someone lose weight. It has to be a personal decision. I. Am slightly overweight and I have started to go to the gym. He will not go with me. Any suggestions? Posted via Mobile Device
If he won't do it for himself then give him some external stimulation. Tell him you will not stand around and watch him die. If he does not take steps to lose the weight, you are gone. Posted via Mobile Device
Sounds bad....but true.
I have been married for 20 yrs. and I really enjoy having sex but I am finding i7t difficult to get aroused because he weighs over 400 lbs. He is 6'6" but he is very overweight. I love sex but what do u do when your partner doesn't get you excited? You can't make someone lose weight. It has to be a personal decision. I. Am slightly overweight and I have started to go to the gym. He will not go with me. Any suggestions? Posted via Mobile Device
You are losing interest in him on a physical basis...which might make you wanting other men...you may even be finding an excuse to have OM..
if you really loved, you would not complain like this nor even think of arousal troubles...it is just your physical want that was your love....!!
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. It is both an art and a fortunate accident.
You are losing interest in him on a physical basis...which might make you wanting other men...you may even be finding an excuse to have OM..
if you really loved, you would not complain like this nor even think of arousal troubles...it is just your physical want that was your love....!!
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. It is both an art and a fortunate accident.
???
I think you have to be honest with him in a loving way and offer a plan to help him take better care of his health. I'm not saying you have to make him lose weight... but he may feel so hopeless and helpless that he doesn't know where to start and doesn't think he can be successful. If he knows you love him, will support him and will not leave him he just might make the effort. Good luck.
No...not interested other men. I have to fix what problems exist before I move on. I have to decide if I can live having sex and not being happy sexually.
Ele. I like your way of thinking! Lol.
It's just getting to the point of being excited about it.
I don't want to seem shallow or not being supportive but I want to enjoy it as much as he does. He doesn't say he is unhappy about his appearance. He would like to lose the weight but its not a priority. Posted via Mobile Device
Has he been to the doctor for a check up lately? He needs a doctor to tell him exactly what his odds are for heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, ED, etc.
He is killing himself slowly. I wouldn't be attracted either. I can't stand it when people are so self destructive and don't care. It's not fair to you in any way. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't want to seem shallow or not being supportive but I want to enjoy it as much as he does. He doesn't say he is unhappy about his appearance. He would like to lose the weight but its not a priority
Please forgive me, but he's lying.
I'm a big dude and I have struggled with my weight all my life. For the most part I've been able to maintain my weight in the 250 range, but when you get 400 lbs?.....that's pure misery Cogo.
High blood pressure is the number one killer of obese people, and if he does not take steps to get his weight down, the sex issue will be a moot point. The man of your life, your lover and best friend, will die, or at the very least stroke out and spend the rest of his life as a wheelchair conductor. Is that what you want?
No....I really do not.
I just spoke to him and he agreed to go to the gym with me.
I will see how well he sticks to his plan.
Bandit.45~
I know he can't be comfortable. He just looks unhappy.
He doesn't look like he has the self esteem. Yet he makes fun of people who are overweight. Posted via Mobile Device
That's a lot of extra weight. What worked to motivate my husband was for ME to lose a bunch of weight and get attractive. I quit trying to get him to join me. Didn't care really. I got to the point where I was more than willing to leave him behind in my dust if that's what he chose. However I will admit he doesn't need to lose that much weight so it wasn't affecting our sex life....yet.
Now he is threatened by my looks (I'm tiny and fit now) and is working hard to lose weight to keep up with me. It's amusing.
Uh, okay. Where did all the weight you lost go? To your head?
I was joking. However it did help motivate him when he saw me working so hard to lose weight and get fit. But unlike the OP my husband wasn't obese or unhealthy to start with. He was just a bit overweight.
I agree with your post I do. This guys health is on the line and it's dangerous.
15Likes
I like sex....not with hubby 
