marijuana and sex
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 03-04-2012, 02:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question marijuana and sex

I have been married to my husband for 3 years dated for two before marriage. When we both met we both smoked pot on a regular basis. He has smoked pot all of his adult life he is 30 and me some in college and on occasion since then I am 38. Recently, I have been drifting away from smoking wondering how much it really makes sense in my life these days. We have two children together. Our pot smoking has now resorted to us having a joint together after the children are asleep and then we usually have sex. My husband smokes pot alot more than me, sometimes during his lunch breaks at work or even in the morning. I have confronted him about how I hate when he does this during work. I am beginning to learn that he may have other addictions (porn). Most recently, I went on a fast from pot and gave myself a timeline to just clear my head without smoking at all. I have found that when I don't smoke, I am not sexually attracted to him. I want to be honest with him and communicate this with him but I am not sure if it will hurt his feelings, also beginning to think that this could be a more serious issue of me just getting sick of the pot smoking and wanting to focus on other things. Can someone offer advice to this??
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Old 03-04-2012, 11:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: marijuana and sex

Do you have any sexual desire when you're off of it? If not, it could be that it's a withdrawal thing.
If you do, it could be that you're growing up and taking on adult responsibility while he is still living in never ending adolescence.
I was with a pot addict and had my own addiction too to it. He started doing it more and more, to the point where he was stoned all day and didn't want to do anything if it didn't involve getting high.
I thought when we were in our twenties that it was a temporary thing and he would stop when we got married and had a child. Instead he got so into he ended up being the dealer for his group of friends.
What was his reaction when you stopped and when you told him that you were concerned about his increasing use of it? Has he noticed that you don't want sex anymore?
It wasn't until I got away from him that I realized what a downer pot was on my life. How much of our lives was spent trying to get it, how much money we wasted on it. How it affects your thoughts even when you're not high. It took away my desire to accomplish anything.
I felt like I couldn't handle him when he wasn't stoned, he would get so irritable and angry.
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Old 03-05-2012, 12:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: marijuana and sex

You have probably trained yourself to only be attracted to him, or to want sex, when you are high. So now you don't know how to go there when you are not high.

It sounds like a learned behavior.
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Old 03-05-2012, 06:29 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: marijuana and sex

Smoking pot has nothing to do with being a responsible adult.

I know many successful professionals who toke quite often.

Even though I smoke weed, I still manage to maintain a B average in college. Our home is never dirty and my husband comes home to dinner on the table.

I would quit if I had children because once you become a parent, you cannot afford any kind of addiction. Children deserve parents who are not stoners, drunks etc.

I am attracted to my husband whether I am stoned or not.

Learned behaviour sounds correct. However, I'm sure that you were not always high when you met your husband.
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Old 03-05-2012, 06:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: marijuana and sex

looks like its his heavy use of canibis thats bothering you. You have matured and want to grow as a person and he just wants to smoke away.

Tell him you miss him when hes high. see if he will cut back to only smoking on weekends.Find something fun to do together without smoking and just enjoy eachothers true personality for a change. weed tends to dull everything, If you could get him to quit for awhile he might realise how much better life is without it.

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Old 03-05-2012, 06:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
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He needs to grow up. You guys have kids and doing drugs in the home?????
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:06 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flnative View Post
He needs to grow up. You guys have kids and doing drugs in the home?????
It is now very widely accepted by independent scientists (not affiliated to government or church organisations) that marijuana is not a dangerous drug and is certainly less dangerous than alcohol:

Addictive Properties of Popular Drugs | Drug War Facts

Joycelyn Elders, MD, former US Surgeon General, wrote in a Mar. 26, 2004 editorial published in the Providence Journal:

"Unlike many of the drugs we prescribe every day, marijuana has never been proven to cause a fatal overdose."


Do you keep aspirin in the house? Alcohol?

Marijuana is not the problem but is a symbol of the fact that you guys aren't on the same page, sexually or emotionally.
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:31 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Ok.....one of those....
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Love the pot head comments. I like hearing how you manage to justify your illegal, mind altering habit.
My wife was a daily user for years. I never did. Like you I did not find a smelly, stoned person attractive. My wife didn't find me worth quitting for. I hope to eventually find someone who will not need to look at the world through a drug induced fog.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree wholeheartedly that cannibis is a healing plant. We allow medical marijuana in Canada for that reason. If a Canadian has cancer or aids, an MD can prescribe it.

Marijuana in small amounts for personal use is not illegal here. Perhaps Chuckp47 needs to realize that not everyone is from the U.S. Our police have real crimes to worry about and at least we don't waste money on a stupid drug war.

Alcohol and caffeine are not mind altering right?

Even as a stoner, I don't believe that children should be exposed to marijuana. I am never high around my nieces, nor do I smoke around them.

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Old 03-05-2012, 08:39 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I love it when people who know they are beaten by an evidence-based agrument resort to making personal attacks and namecalling.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:42 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by johnnycomelately View Post
I love it when people who know they are beaten by an evidence-based agrument resort to making personal attacks and namecalling.
Made my morning!

Anyone who needs coffee every day to get going is also an addict.

Most people don't even realize that just because caffeine is socially acceptable.
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:29 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Anything can be addictive. It's a matter of how it changes you. Some people can smoke pot recreationally. This man is not able to get through the day without it. I'd say the same thing if he were drinking all day, taking prescription pain killers all day or doing coke. It's a matter of some one's ability to
cope and relate without needing to have a very altered state of mind.
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:44 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Don't even get me started on this subject as we've already had our previous arguments!

Everything in moderation is fine. But these things can become an addiction. There is a difference people! Don't lump recreational users in the same category as those addicted to pot. Unless you've lived with one, you don't know what it's like so don't assume that it's all harmless just because it is to you.
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Old 03-05-2012, 10:32 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Yep. When you run out of pot what do you do? Spend hours calling people, climbing the walls, sighing, being an angry irritable jerk to everyone? Do you get angry when someone asks you to do something that won't make pot use possible? Do you avoid people who don't smoke? Just like alcohol there are people who can drink one drink and be ok. Then there are people who make put the center of their life.
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