rks1

I just wanted to post a happy update to a previous thread I created over a month back, when I was unhappy and frustrated because my newly-wedded husband seemed to hate giving me oral. (We were both virgins until marriage, and we only were together a short time after marriage, as we currently live long-distance until he moves in with me at the end of the year). husband dislikes giving (TMI warning) I didn't think anyone would see my update after 4 pages of thread, so I thought I'd post it here:

I went to India to see my husband 2 weeks ago (just for a short week-long trip). It had been 2.5 months since my last trip there, as I'm in school full-time as well as working. The first night I was there, I was not able to have sex with him as I was ending my period. He asked me that night if I'd be willing to give him oral. I agreed. (On a previous occasion I had sucked on his penis, but he finished elsewhere.) I remember when he was about to orgasm, he warned me that I should quickly remove my mouth. However, just for fun I didn't, and he ended up orgasming inside. I admit, the texture of semen was disgusting and I felt like gagging on it. However, there was not much of any taste (he is vegan, and I have heard that veggie people have milder tastes). He told me to spit it out, but instead I just swallowed it down (uggh! it was my first time doing that) while he looked on in disbelief. He told me the next day that had he married a woman from his country, he would have never experienced such a thing in life. He admitted however, that he doesn't want me to perform oral on him again, as he felt bad doing that to me. He wasn't comfortable, as he felt like me giving him oral put him in a dominant position with me as his slave... and he didn't like that feeling, as our relationship is otherwise quite balanced (with me being slightly more dominant in the relationship compared to him). I asked him if he feels like my slave when he gives me oral, but he says he doesn't mind giving me oral as long as I use good hygiene.

The next day (after my period had stopped), we did have sex, and before we did that, he offered to give me oral without my asking. I told him that he doesn't have to (as I knew that he previously didn't like giving oral at all). But he told me that he didn't mind, so he went down on me. During the time I was there, our sex included him giving me oral, followed by intercourse (as he never asked me to give him oral thereafter). The first two times he gave me oral, he was still uncomfortable licking around my vagina (as he didn't like the liquid which he complained was salty, and thus he preferred to stay up towards the clit). However, I appreciated him for at least trying it out (which was progress, considering that on my last trip at the time of our wedding, he had flatly refused licking anywhere near the vag as he thought women's v's were naturally unhygenic).

Now here's the crazy thing... sometime after the first 2 times he gave me oral on this trip, he had some kind of mindswitch. I don't know what happened. He gave me oral about 7 times or so that week, but by time 4, he started WANTING to do it... On my previous trip, I remember that he would lose his erection while going down on me, but this time I noticed that he would remain hard after he was done going down. He would get a kick out of seeing me squirm around while he was pleasuring me, and would tease me about that. The day I was leaving back for home, as we were travelling to the airport, he told me that all he could think about was my scent 'down below' and how he just wanted to put his face back there (!).

Since I have come back home, he still mentions it, nearly every day, that he wants to 'eat (my) salty ____'. Unfortunately it will be some months before I'm able to go back to visit due to school.

I am absolutely floored, as I truly thought I'd have to go the rest of my life sexually frustrated. I have no idea what happened, but I'm thrilled. I guess giving oral was just an acquired taste for him. We've only had sex thus far about dozen times now since our marriage, so I think we are both still learning how not to be virgins now and figuring out what we like in terms of intimacy. I just wanted to post this update, as there were some people on my previous thread who thought that he would never change his desire to give me oral. I'm so glad things have changed.

Zatol Ugot?

CONGRATULATIONS! and good for you! Its a wonderful feeling when you receive a wonderful gift like that, especially when you thought that you never would.

Coffee Amore

I'm glad that things are going well. That boy has a lot of potential.

shy_guy

I can honestly say I thought he would come around, and I posted as much in your last thread ... I'm always an optimist. That's not to brag, it's just that the set of smells and hormones that you are naturally equipped with has such a powerful effect on a man. It speaks directly to his sexual nervous system, and it carries a POWERFUL message when it speaks!! It sounded like he had a hangup at first, but once he got past that hangup, what nature has equipped you with had a chance to connect with how nature has equipped him ... he has been enlightened! and this is only the beginning of learning!

I'm SO GLAD to read this update. Now, you have unleashed the beast, so hang on for the ride .

River1977

How great for the both of you. Only, you didn't mention whether he was able to bring you to orgasm. Did he? If not - and I kinda doubt a novice was able to do that - then he just needs to learn a good technique. Mostly, he may need to understand what thrills you as opposed to what annoys you, and it really can be very annoying if the guy doesn't know what he's doing.

You can look it up yourself and then tutor him, or he can find out on his own. Then, experimenting with technique is marvelous. Just tell him to remember that how to gently suck on your clit is to curl/purse his lips around it as if he is whistling or as if he is sucking through a straw. Since he likes to make you squirm, this will drive you absolutely wild and the greatest orgasms.

It's unlikely he would feel like your slave (unless you shout commands while he's doing it LOL) while giving you oral because basically, he has all the power and control over you, your pleasure, and your satisfaction. If he does it well, you are entirely putty in his hands. Once he masters technique, you will shout when he wants you to shout, you will squirm uncontrollably as much as he likes, you will cum when he wants you to cum, and you will take as long as he wants your pleasure to last. Essentially, he is the master of your orgasmic fate.

rks1

Thanks! Things are going well for us... this trip was not only good in terms of sexuality, but it helped smooth out the issues we were having in the relationship, and helped me to respect him a whole lot more. When I got to see his supervisor rave about him, and I got to watch him teaching his students... it made me so proud. We bumped into a family acquaintance of his on the street, and that guy told me that my husband was one of a million. I realized during this time that I married a good guy, and my frustrations have mostly melted away at this point. We're in a much better place.

(By the way, I'm always so glad to see your responses on my threads. You had PM'ed me some weeks back, and I responded to you, but my message system continued to say no messages sent. So I am sorry if you never got a response, although I did try to send it.)

Thanks!

rks1

Thanks ShyGuy! I'm also glad that you got this update... as you and CoffeAmore are some of my favorite posters on this forum. You were right that things had the potential to work out, especially with us being novices. If things are already this good, I'm looking forwards to where things will further go over time. Thanks again for your support and advice!

rks1

Thanks River! Yes, he has gotten me to orgasm every time. In the beginning (on my last trip), he didn't always do a very good job initially as it took a looong time, as I had to keep instructing him what I needed. He would sometimes make it too impersonal by barely using the tip of his tongue due to his squeamishness (which wasn't doing much for me), or conversely he'd suck too hard on other places (like my chest, which would just hurt). I remember he used to grab my chest like someone squeezing an old-fashioned car horn, and I had to tell not to dig in with his fingers that way, but instead show him how to touch me gently. But with instruction he has continued to get better, and things have gotten more and more enjoyable. We still have a ways to go, but at least I can say that the sex is pretty decent already. I'm grateful to him also for his patience in trying to figure all this out with me, as well as being sensitive to my needs.

Edit: just to clarify, I meant that he has always gotten me to orgasm through oral, not through intercourse, as I'm not able to orgasm that way at present. Hopefully someday...

hithereimstephanie

You're a lucky woman :P Now I need my husband to have a "mind switch"

contemplating divorce

[QUOTE=hithereimstephanie;625227]You're a lucky woman :P Now I need my husband to have a "mind switch" [/QUOTE
Wow! Makes me want to go wake up my husband & punch him. I noticed he liked receiving oral, but not giving, so I asked him why. He said that most women that he has slept with just wanted up "on the pole" so he skipped performing oral AND foreplay! Trust me when I say it is NOT a pole & I don't even come close to having an orgasm w/o foreplay with him & in 5 years, have had less than I can count on one hand with him. I try to tell him what I need & how I need it done & he shushes me!! "Shhhhhhhhhhh, shhhhhh", really? A real stud muffin, SMH. He tells me he knows what he's doing. Hmmmmm...........even better than I do? He says oral is hard for him to do because it hurts his neck, tongue, and throat having to stretch like that. I am proud to say that my New Year's resolution is that since I have performed oral on him approx 300 times, & he has no more than 5 times for me in those 5 years, I REFUSE to unless he takes care of me 1st. And since he is pouting about that & he won't have sex if he is mad, then we have BOTH been without it ALL for about 2 months. The Hitachi ELECTRIC toy works wonders to hold a girl over! No more batteries for me