Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Yup, didn't go so well in my house either. She thought it was funny, but silly. I was disapointed in her reaction, which somehow just pissed her right off.
I don't see the big deal women make about bjs. I can see not wanting to do it to a stranger or someone you just met. that's gross as you don't know hygiene or STDs. but your husband? Do women feel that below their husbands that they think it's demeaning? I feel very equal with my husband and do not feel demeaned when giving him a bj. I know it pleases him and I love to please him. I honestly don't see the big deal in being that personal and intimate with your mate. The fact that he trusts me to have his penis in my mouth is a huge turn on. He's so vulnerable in that situation and yet he trusts me enough to be that way.
It's just beautiful, imo, and I don't understand women who won't do it or act like it's a chore.
I tried to explain to her, if there was something REALLY EASY I could do for 7-10 minutes that would make you REALLY happy, I would jump all over it; I'd want to do it all the time.
She responded that I fail to do things all thing time and it makes her feel like she has another child; things like washing out the baby bottles, leaving a door open or a light on, general around-the-house things.
Between working, paying bills, coming straight home most nights, bringing home flowers, getting isaac to daycare every morning .. I'm bound to forget a detail here and there.
If I point out to her that for every mistake I make there are several dozen things I do right; she'll say, what do you want a gold sticker? No, I want a freakin' blowjob every now and then!
I don't think these issues are the things that keep her from showing more affection; so far I haven't figured it out. I think the bottom line is that she doesn't get the same pleasure from it than I do. She can still enjoy herself and have orgasms, but she doesn't crave it. When I go down on her, it is almost always my idea.. she enjoys it but it's not the same for her as it is for me.
All I know is that there are good days and bad days, and I'm starting to think it has more to do with her general mood than what I did right or wrong that day.
We are seeing a counselor today.. I was the one who set up the appointment; it is partly about my ADD/scatterbrainedness, some of her anger management issues, but I'm hoping the sex thing will get addressed too.
We are not hopeless. We have had GREAT sex, as recently as last weekend. But there are these recurring issues we can't seem to get past.
Sorry to derail the steak and BJ thread.. I hope at least some of you have had better luck!
I don't see the big deal women make about bjs. I can see not wanting to do it to a stranger or someone you just met. that's gross as you don't know hygiene or STDs. but your husband? Do women feel that below their husbands that they think it's demeaning? I feel very equal with my husband and do not feel demeaned when giving him a bj. I know it pleases him and I love to please him. I honestly don't see the big deal in being that personal and intimate with your mate. The fact that he trusts me to have his penis in my mouth is a huge turn on. He's so vulnerable in that situation and yet he trusts me enough to be that way.
It's just beautiful, imo, and I don't understand women who won't do it or act like it's a chore.
That's the thing, she DOES do it. Not as often as I would like but she doesn't seem to have a huge problem with it. That's why her reaction was suprising to me.
Well, I don't equate sex or my sexual response to what he does or doesn't do around the house. People are people and we make mistakes. I don't expect him to be perfect for a bj O_o LOL!!
Our steak &BJ day (minus the steak due to financial difficulties)..
ended up like well over half hour.... I even threw up once (i've never done that before.) That was sooo embarrassing.
..Had to go to the bathroom, spit it out, brush teeth.. & start all over again. I hope he thought it was worth it.
Yeah, 7-10 is a bare minimum.. it could go longer. My point was that it shouldn't be so much work.
I honestly just don't get it. I don't. I don't know why husbands and wives let sex become something of a chore or something to hate. I know people have issues but....sex shouldn't be an issue. It just causes so many other problems. Do people marry people they aren't completely sexually attracted to? I can't keep my hands off Hubs and he can't keep his off me. I mean, I'm in bed recovering from surgery and we're trying to figure out how to be sexual without me moving hahaha no intercourse for 2 weeks, but other things are good!
There's still a crap load of lust in our 4 year relationship. Maybe there won't be in 20 years? I hope there will be. Even during our separation, we were still having sex almost daily. I don't understand why people would get married and then turn away their spouses for sex. I can't imagine that frustration. It should be grounds for instant divorce. Did you get married to be celibate? I know I didn't.
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Re: Steak and BJ Day 
hahaha no intercourse for 2 weeks, but other things are good! 
