03-17-2012, 06:23 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
| | 14 years and going south fast
My wife and I have been married 14 years. When we have had sex in the past, it has been incredible (75% of the time). I can't speak to her but I would have to say she does not view it as incredible because we rarely ever have sex. I have approached the topic with her in the past and she said it was because I don't "romance" her enough. Fair enough. I have worked on "romancing" her since then by taking her on date nights, giving her candlelit massages, cooking her dinner, etc. But at the first sign I want to "escalate" things, she physically shoves me away and groans about it. Then when I bring it up she says something to the effect of "well you never try to have sex with me anymore." At this point, I am confused. I either don't romance her enough or don't try to have sex with her enough (which to me is just a copout to help her justify her guilt).
I should preface this by saying she had an extramarital affair 3 years ago. She would argue and say "nothing" happened. But I had been growing suspicious when I noticed some changes and started reviewing cell phone records. I noticed several "midnight" calls to a number on the nights I would be out of town traveling. I then put keystroke logging software on her computer and captured a very explicit chat with a guy she has always claimed is a "friend." In that chat she stated something to the effect of she "had to go because 'you know who' wants some tonight---gross----I'll just be thinking about you as we are doing it." I read this and it really hurt my feelings. The fact that she referred to me as "gross". I'm no grosser than the fat hairy drunken friend that she thinks is "hot". She still does everything she can to see this person when he is in town and I am getting sick of being the fool here.