Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have a big problem and it is consuming my life. The problem is that I am addicted to masturbating. I masturbate between 2-5 times per day. It's usually once in the morning, once or twice around lunch, once when I get home in the evening, and once before bed. I have had this habit for around 13 to 14 years. I am married but my wife has no idea about this habit. I never told her because it is embarrassing and we have been for almost a decade. I don't know how I can tell her this now. It is to the point that I am addicted and I use it for so many issues in my life such as:
a pain reliever
a stress reliever
a sleep aide
a fever reducer
and even as a depression reliever
I really want to beat this habit so I want help to get over it. I really don't want to seek professional counseling in our city because my wife may find out about it. By the way, she is pregnant now so sex is not as frequent as before. I tried to stop doing it at the beginning of this year and I went about 8 days without doing it. It got to the point where I couldn't control myself anymore and the first day that I did it this year, I did it for 8 times in 1 day! Please give me some advice or tell me some techniques to get over this. It makes me feel very guilty but I'm so addicted to it, it's a normal part of my life just how some people are addicted to smoking or drinking. I have tried to say busy or not think about it but no matter what, the urge comes back. There have even been times where me and my wife went to dinner or a friends house and once the urge struck me, I went to the restroom to do it right then and there. There is no AAA for chronic masturbaters but I know that someone out there has dealt with this so please please please help me.
So honestly how is this negatively impacting your life? It sounds like you are still giving your wife what she needs, you aren't spending too much time on it or money.
Maybe you just have a really high sex drive? Posted via Mobile Device
If you asked Dr Laura she would say just stop doing it. In Anthony Kiedis's book he talks about kicking his addiction and even when he kicks drugs physically he struggled with the mental addiction, my guess is that is were you are. You need to kick the mental addiction, you can only do that by really wanting to change. Jerking off needs to become disgusting to you, something that mentally you want no part of before you can move on. Good Luck.
So honestly how is this negatively impacting your life? It sounds like you are still giving your wife what she needs, you aren't spending too much time on it or money.
Maybe you just have a really high sex drive? Posted via Mobile Device
So do NOT agree with this!! He has identified he has a problem with it, he is hiding it from his wife, therefore it IS a problem. You need to seek professional help and once things are better, your wife needs to attend a session where you are in a safe environment to tell her with the counselors guidance. Good luck.
I had a bad masturbation and porn addiction as well. Unfortunately I didn't come to terms until my marriage was over, so kuddos to you for seeking help now and working on yourself. The only thing I can advise you first is to get rid of all your porn and any temptation you have when you are bored. You can still masturbate but the rules have to change.
For starters you'll only use ONE video or picture to get off and only once a day. If you watch porn too much you can actually develop erectile dysfunction to everything but porn. You'll also
want to avoid masturbating before bed if you want deeper sleep and cut back on stimulants. To a guy with a high sex drive caffeine can make the need to masturbate even higher when you're stressed enough already.
The reason it's so addicting is because it stimulates the reward systems in the brain, but unfortunately the high dose of prolactin released as well as certain essencial hormones can leave you in a fog for the rest of the day if you do it enough. It's extremely hard to break this habit if you try to stop cold turkey so you'll need to cut back to just once or twice a day and then burn off the extra energy by exercising instead.
You can still masturbate once a day but you'll experience higher spikes of testosterone and more frequent erections during this time which will make you want to do it all that much more. SAVE IT and use this energy for something more productive when you aren't having sex. If I go without for a few days to a week I can just about tear phonebooks in half and my thinking is much much sharper. Though after 3-4 days studies have shown this goes back to normal and your sex drive will go down to near normal levels.
I masturbate between 2-5 times per day. It's usually once in the morning, once or twice around lunch, once when I get home in the evening, and once before bed. I have had this habit for around 13 to 14 years. I am married but my wife has no idea about this habit. I never told her because it is embarrassing and we have been for almost a decade. I don't know how I can tell her this now. It is to the point that I am addicted and I use it for so many issues in my life such as:
a pain reliever
a stress reliever
a sleep aide
a fever reducer
and even as a depression reliever
So do NOT agree with this!! He has identified he has a problem with it, he is hiding it from his wife, therefore it IS a problem. You need to seek professional help and once things are better, your wife needs to attend a session where you are in a safe environment to tell her with the counselors guidance. Good luck.
hey now, youre still too new to disagree with all of us
You're not addicted to porn you're addicted to dopamine which porn and masturbation releases into your brain every time you cum.
Some people are born with lower than normal levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine and so seek to self medicate to bring those levels up to normal. But if your levels are normal and porn went from a bad habit to something more than like I said you are simply addicted to the pleasant feelings the release of these brain chemicals causes.
If it is just a bad habit gone to far then try to stop. If you have a partner you are sexually attracted to this should be fairly simple. But if you don't or you were born with lower than normal levels of dopamine (technically the brains ability to use it is compromised) then you need to see a therapist and get yourself on medication that will bring the levels up to normal slowly and keep them there.
The way to know which type you are is if you tend to cross addiction. If your levels are low from birth then you will most likely be self medicating not just with masturbation but other things such as drugs, booze, food, gambling etc. anything that makes those levels go up and gets you feeling good instead of always suffering from a lower than baseline mood. Chances are you may also be susceptible to anxiety and depression. All these problems can be fixed with therapy and medication.
Remember porn itself is not addicting. Billions of men use it every day and most do not become heavy users. It is only people susceptible to the raised dopamine and other neurotransmitter levels and the way they make you feel that have problems with porn.
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How can I beat a masturbation addiction 
