Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have a very high drive but the only effect nsweet's protocol would have on me is calling the police . I don't care how many hot baths you stick me in punctuated by full body massages-- some things just don't fit!
You're making it out like it's a date rape or something. My "protocal" involves talking about it with the woman once she brings it up and taking things very slowly. Maybe after six weeks of cunnilingus and massages Saturday nights I drag a knuckle across her @$$ and see how she likes it. If she's into it I lick further back and then stop before it begins to be too much. I always leave it up to her if she feels comfortable with penetration with a finger and will stop when she says "no". If she doesn't like the feeling of a finger then she would never enjoy my penis so I stop and never push for anal ever again. I'm not a D-bag and will respect her wishes appreciating her body in other ways she feels comfortable with because not every woman will enjoy anal.
Let's think logically about this for a moment. Look at all we have to go through to have anal sex. The lube, some people need to drink first, using anal beads, fear of bleeding, pain, blah, blah blah.
Doesn't that tell anyone that the butt is NOT an entry point if the body fights it like that? I know how painful it can be when hubby slipped out once and rammed it back in, IN THE WRONG HOLE. Oh my God, I curled into the fetal position and actually cried. It felt like a hot curling iron with spikes on it. Now I know that if we were careful, it wouldn't be that painful, but I was surprised how painful it really was. If the butt were meant for this, it wouldn't hurt like that. Hence, I feel really bad for young boys when they get sent to prison.
Hubby bothered me about anal for years and years. It was just something to conquer, something to try. I never let him and he wanted it more like a kid who can't have any ice cream. Once, I did get drunk, he was in a recliner, and I pulled a reverse cowgirl on him and using LOTS of lube, slowly, SLOWLY backed up onto his penis. He didn't even realize he was in there until I leaned back and whispered "do you know where you are right now?" and he opened his eyes and came immediately. I had all the control, there were no expectations, so it didn't hurt. His only comment was, IT'S VERY WARM IN THERE. And he hasn't asked for it since. The wonder of it all was appeased.
Lube, patience, preparation, building up and a good butt-plug all help. I like anal for how it feels and for what it represents. Most guys just talk about how good it feels. This is absolutely true. Its a different sensation on the penis and its a good sensation! What it represents to a guy is that their wife loves them enough to let them in a place that is "off limits". There is a huge amount of implied trust and acceptance. THAT is just as important to guys if they admit it or not. The more you do it, the easier it gets like most things.
I have a very high drive but the only effect nsweet's protocol would have on me is calling the police . I don't care how many hot baths you stick me in punctuated by full body massages-- some things just don't fit!
You're making it out like it's a date rape or something. My "protocal" involves talking about it with the woman once she brings it up and taking things very slowly. Maybe after six weeks of cunnilingus and massages Saturday nights I drag a knuckle across her @$$ and see how she likes it. If she's into it I lick further back and then stop before it begins to be too much. I always leave it up to her if she feels comfortable with penetration with a finger and will stop when she says "no". If she doesn't like the feeling of a finger then she would never enjoy my penis so I stop and never push for anal ever again. I'm not a D-bag and will respect her wishes appreciating her body in other ways she feels comfortable with because not every woman will enjoy anal.
Anal sex is something that is very seldom brought up by women.
It is painful at the beginning even when done slowly and with lots of lube. It is uncomfortable for a few days afterwards when you use your butt hole for its intended purpose.
This is something that men want for their pleasure. Women have a vag and a clitoris that does not hurt, in fact, the sensation is quite the opposite.
Why do woman let men penetrate them in the butt? I have heard the "you get better orgasms from it". You can't orgasm from a body part that was not designed for sexual activity.
You can easily get an orgasm from using the sex organs you already have without risking pain and injury. So why do women do this.
Just to please men. That is it. There is nothing much in it for the woman. If a woman does not orgasm from vaginal sex (70%) how will she orgasm from stimulation in the wrong hole?
When I think about it too much, I think sex is messed up. Women are required to take risk, endure pain and discomfort in order to rock a man's world, why? How did this happen? She got parts to rock a man's world without hurting herself or risking serious injury.
I've had anal sex over the years with my husband but we decided recently that it was not worth the trouble. It is uncomfortable for me when we begin and for a few days after, that has never changed and it takes so long to get anything in. We did it to see what all the fuss was about.
I think we all need to be open minded about sex with a loving caring partner who has our comfort and pleasure in mind. A man who persist asking when he has been turned down, is not in a loving caring space.
But I think there are things that you should not try unless you have express and definite interest in it. One is anal sex.
Just some advice - besides the lube, slow and blah blah, the woman has to have had an orgasm, preferably more than one before any attempt is made. If she can't orgasm, don't do it.
The thought of penetrating an anus may be arousing to the poker but not the pokee. The recipient is very nervous and it hurts.
Plus don't try to stick it all the way in and pump hard. Anatomically, that is not possible for every woman.
Ladies, if this is not something you want to try, make it clear that the answer is no. If he persist in bringing it up like a child, get him at a quiet rational moment and point out the factors I mentioned at the beginning of the post.
Ask him to explain from his heart why he wants you to do something that you don't want that is highly likely to hurt but give him pleasure? Ask him how is that loving.
(This is humor)
If that does not work, buy a dildo and strap on. When he ask again just tell him "I thought you would never ask. I decided I'd like to try" Pull out the greased up dildo and don the strap-on and say "lets go babe".
When he ask what you think you are doing, tell him we are having that anal he always wanted.
That should be the end of it but just for insurance, keep the dildo and strap-on within easy reach. If he mentions anal again, pull it out grease it up. The negative association will break him of the habit.
I dont agree with your post: I believe to be discussed by alot of women. It maybe discussed in the privacy of their home or in a small group, but it is discussed. As far as the anus was not made for sex. Did God tell you this? Posted via Mobile Device
That seems really feminist. Just because your husband expresses a desire for anal sex doesn't mean he's a sexist pig and doesn't give your the right to anally rape him. If your husband can't respect your wishes to cross that boundary then leave him. Don't screw him up for life and turn a request into an anal rape.
That seems really feminist. Just because your husband expresses a desire for anal sex doesn't mean he's a sexist pig and doesn't give your the right to anally rape him. If your husband can't respect your wishes to cross that boundary then leave him. Don't screw him up for life and turn a request into an anal rape.
Ahh I was wondering if that curse would be hurled my way.
Whenever a woman questions her option to bow out of sexual practices that may not benefit her and may actually hurt her, she becomes a feminist. What exactly does feminism have to do with anything in my post?
Exercising caution and common sense about what you allow any one to do with your body is a bad thing?
Maybe you feel that offering woman a cogent reason by which they my effectively refuse to engage in sex act that may injure her physically and psychologically threatens you?
If you had a daughter what would you advise her if she came to you telling you that her bf wanted anal sex and she didn't? Would you not tell her something like what I said above?
Or would you tell her go out there and try every thing men what to do with you. Men like to experiment sexually and she is their material.
If the former is feminist well call me a feminist. My daughter will be one, I hope my son will be influenced by his dad who respects women and does not view a woman who thinks as a threat.
I dont agree with your post: I believe to be discussed by alot of women. It maybe discussed in the privacy of their home or in a small group, but it is discussed. As far as the anus was not made for sex. Did God tell you this? Posted via Mobile Device
No not exactly but....
You talk to him? Tell us what he said about anal sex don't be shy.
Is this the part where I'm supposed to prove myself as a man who respects women's boundaries to you, yet again? You can take it or leave it but don't throw your "what would you tell your daughter" argument in my face to support your side. That kind of argument may make you feel better so you can tell yourself you're "right", but your attitude at this point is becoming rude.
No one said you had to have anal to please a man if you don't feel comfortable with it. Any sexual partner who doesn't respect your wishes isn't the right man to be having sex with anyways.
Can we just drop this and get back to the OP's origional discussion?
i am sure Catherine you understand my point Posted via Mobile Device
No, I really don't. If the anus is for sex, then men and women are finally united in that they have an anatomically identical sex organ.
Then my post about the dildo and strap-on, which was written in jest may not be so far out there.
Thanks for enlightening me. I am going to inform my husband. I think I know what he will say. I asked him once before when he mentioned trying anal sex. I said "you first".
True to form he smiled at me sweetly and said "that's just not me babe". What I guy. He did not get angry or tell me I should do it to please him or get insulted or even appear surprised, as I expected. He never missed a beat.
Anal sex is something that is very seldom brought up by women.
It is painful at the beginning even when done slowly and with lots of lube. It is uncomfortable for a few days afterwards when you use your butt hole for its intended purpose.
This is something that men want for their pleasure. Women have a vag and a clitoris that does not hurt, in fact, the sensation is quite the opposite.
Why do woman let men penetrate them in the butt? I have heard the "you get better orgasms from it". You can't orgasm from a body part that was not designed for sexual activity.
You can easily get an orgasm from using the sex organs you already have without risking pain and injury. So why do women do this.
Just to please men. That is it. There is nothing much in it for the woman. If a woman does not orgasm from vaginal sex (70%) how will she orgasm from stimulation in the wrong hole?
When I think about it too much, I think sex is messed up. Women are required to take risk, endure pain and discomfort in order to rock a man's world, why? How did this happen? She got parts to rock a man's world without hurting herself or risking serious injury.
I've had anal sex over the years with my husband but we decided recently that it was not worth the trouble. It is uncomfortable for me when we begin and for a few days after, that has never changed and it takes so long to get anything in. We did it to see what all the fuss was about.
I think we all need to be open minded about sex with a loving caring partner who has our comfort and pleasure in mind. A man who persist asking when he has been turned down, is not in a loving caring space.
But I think there are things that you should not try unless you have express and definite interest in it. One is anal sex.
Just some advice - besides the lube, slow and blah blah, the woman has to have had an orgasm, preferably more than one before any attempt is made. If she can't orgasm, don't do it.
The thought of penetrating an anus may be arousing to the poker but not the pokee. The recipient is very nervous and it hurts.
Plus don't try to stick it all the way in and pump hard. Anatomically, that is not possible for every woman.
Ladies, if this is not something you want to try, make it clear that the answer is no. If he persist in bringing it up like a child, get him at a quiet rational moment and point out the factors I mentioned at the beginning of the post.
Ask him to explain from his heart why he wants you to do something that you don't want that is highly likely to hurt but give him pleasure? Ask him how is that loving.
(This is humor)
If that does not work, buy a dildo and strap on. When he ask again just tell him "I thought you would never ask. I decided I'd like to try" Pull out the greased up dildo and don the strap-on and say "lets go babe".
When he ask what you think you are doing, tell him we are having that anal he always wanted.
That should be the end of it but just for insurance, keep the dildo and strap-on within easy reach. If he mentions anal again, pull it out grease it up. The negative association will break him of the habit.
Actually my wife would disagree with you. She says I'm too large to just go back there without some prep work. Compared to some, maybe I am...just don't know that from personal experience..hehe
She's "up" for it before she orgasms, not after. Each person is different in what they like and what works. I would have guessed that orgasms would have been a prerequisite but that's what you find out when you ask. Yes, it may not have been "designed" for procreation but I think that's getting a little off the beaten path. By that definition oral and anything but vaginal intercourse should be off the menu.
The anus does have nerve endings and they can/do be very pleasurable for both in spite of the challenge or "pain". Some people also like pain in sex. There's nothing wrong with that if that's what you like. Normally I don't but sometimes it fits the moment or the mood.
As long as someone is clean and doesn't otherwise have a hangup, a well placed and lubed object or play back there can be a lot of fun for BOTH sexes. Life's too short to be "anal" about anal...
Is this the part where I'm supposed to prove myself as a man who respects women's boundaries to you, yet again? You can take it or leave it but don't throw your "what would you tell your daughter" argument in my face to support your side. That kind of argument may make you feel better so you can tell yourself you're "right", but your attitude at this point is becoming rude.
No one said you had to have anal to please a man if you don't feel comfortable with it. Any sexual partner who doesn't respect your wishes isn't the right man to be having sex with anyways.
Can we just drop this and get back to the OP's origional discussion?
You'er kidding right??
I was not aware that I had anything to feel better about. Nor is my attitude rude. You are not my superior nor my father so don't tell me what my attitude is.
Moreover, you lack the power of decrement to assess anything about me. I am better able to give you an accurate assessment of your attitude, if I cared.
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Re: Anal sex..... 
. I don't care how many hot baths you stick me in punctuated by full body massages-- some things just don't fit!
My "protocal" involves talking about it with the woman once she brings it up and taking things very slowly. Maybe after six weeks of cunnilingus and massages Saturday nights I drag a knuckle across her @$$ and see how she likes it. If she's into it I lick further back and then stop before it begins to be too much. I always leave it up to her if she feels comfortable with penetration with a finger and will stop when she says "no". If she doesn't like the feeling of a finger then she would never enjoy my penis so I stop and never push for anal ever again. I'm not a D-bag and will respect her wishes appreciating her body in other ways she feels comfortable with because not every woman will enjoy anal.
And he hasn't asked for it since. The wonder of it all was appeased.
