Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
So my husband is really curious about the anal sex thing....we've been together for 9 years just about, and i've let him "put it in" like 1 or 2 times.....It freaking hurts, and that's why we avoid it....but i know that it excites him....it kind of excited me too, but it's hard to get over the pain....also, I'm worried that if we do that, then there won't be anything left that he feels the need to conquer...i guess you could say that....also, I would be scared that he would prefer anal all the time compared to regular sex....I think that it would be one of those things that I would only want every now and then....because he's my husband, and I think he's entitled to all of me....are there any tips that could help with the pain? And before the question is asked, we have tried lube, and he's VERY VERY gentle about it....but it still hurts....thanks a lot!
So my husband is really curious about the anal sex thing....we've been together for 9 years just about, and i've let him "put it in" like 1 or 2 times.....It freaking hurts, and that's why we avoid it....but i know that it excites him....it kind of excited me too, but it's hard to get over the pain....also, I'm worried that if we do that, then there won't be anything left that he feels the need to conquer...i guess you could say that....also, I would be scared that he would prefer anal all the time compared to regular sex....I think that it would be one of those things that I would only want every now and then....because he's my husband, and I think he's entitled to all of me....are there any tips that could help with the pain? And before the question is asked, we have tried lube, and he's VERY VERY gentle about it....but it still hurts....thanks a lot!
Not to say that I've tried anal but girlfriends talk so i've heard a few things. I guess your supposed to start with anal balls or whatever they are called. If it hurts his girth is probably too much for your ass. I have considered it but I've just heard to many horror stories to even go there. Bleeding for a week every time you go number 2, stuff like that and worse. Plus the pain. My girlfriend said she wouldn't suggest it to me unless I get off on pain as that's what it's like for a while and not just the first time.
Anyway, hopefully someone with experience will post.
I am curious, does this mean that you are entitled to all of him? What about his anus? It shouldn't be one sided, just say'n.
I am curious, does this mean that you are entitled to all of him? What about his anus? It shouldn't be one sided, just say'n.
Honestly....I hate to put my hubby out there, but this man would honestly let me do anything to him sexually, I believe....I have actually put a finger in his ass before....Honestly though, playing with his ass does nothing for me lol....
You can't just shove his penis in and expect it work. Anal sex takes a long time to get ready for and a lot of clitoral play For starters you have to get ready for it a day in advance with your diet. Nothing spicy or greasy at all should pass your lips because you don't want ther to be an accident in the bedroom. Don't freak out you won't soil yourself with my advice. Now when it comes to cleaning you want to void your bowels a few hours in advance and take a long soak in the tub. Try to relax your whole body as much as possible and play with yourself back there. Just get used to pressing a finger against your rectum and pushing.
When you are with your husband you will have sex as uaual and orgasm as much as possible. The more you orgasm the better your first experience with anal sex will be. You could jump right to it by I find it works better to have sex with the woman first. Now when he's ready for round two have him give you cunnilingus while just pushing the pad of a lubed finger against your rectum. He should be able to slide the tip in no problem but he'll need to stop after that. It's a balancing act of push, stop, push stop for a while until he get's a full finger in, and then not past the second sphincter. It's best to use a small butt plug to get in any wider but gently using two fingers will do. Again a lot of clitoral play helps out a lot!
When he can get say two fingers in with you bearing down a little is when you can start. Lots of lube is required and I'll let you in on a little secret, he's only going to be inside about two inches of less. Going slow he'll insert just the time and push in very very very slowly at first. The speed should be as slowly as you need him to go which will be almost nothing at first and then gradually increasing to near that of intercourse. If at anytime you feel pain have him stop, pullout, and cuddle with you for a while. You can always try again later but it'll stop hurting within 5-10 min if you want to try again. Just use more lube next time and go slower.
When anal sex is done right it's said to be very stimulating to women. I hear it's like vaginal and clitoral play all at once and I know from experience can give loud orgasms if donw right. I forgot to mention this but the best position to start out with in on your back with your legs in the air. You can shift around once he's in you but each position will change the way your muscles tighten. For instance some girls have better anal penetration on their back and sides but are too tight doggy and standing. If you're willing to try things like butt plugs while having sex and anal play every once in a while you'll find anal more enjoyable.
Tip: have him angle his penis towards your g-spot when anally inserted and play with your vagina/clit to your heart's content.
My experience....once he got there....it's his preferred spot.
It's not mine. You have to be fully relaxed, go slow and be very lubed internally. We use coconut oil...and I lube myself internally with my finger---he also lubes his penis well.
I find that if we haven't done it for a while (a week), then it's initially painful. You have to be fully relaxed! Inhale and exhale deeply and don't tighten up. We started with me face down, body flat, legs straight down...actually, it's always face down first, then can move into other positions. I think positionally depends on each couple and their body shapes and sizes. I am sure he has fully penetrated and it definitely a very intense experience...once your man see's how WET you get, he's convinced you are THAT pleased with it.
I keep telling him its my body doing all it can to protect itself!
But really, it is very multiply orgasmic...extremely intense.
Like Nsweet said...it's hard to be quiet with this!
I do it to comply. I don't ever ask for it. I worry that too much is not good and wonder what long term effects are. He would go there everyday if he could. As it is, we are at it (vaginally) 1-3 times a day. Foreplay is head for him, every time. Personally, it's all part of his sexual gluttony to me. Hopefully, you have a healthier sexual relationship with your husband! (healthy in that while sex may be great, it doesn't dominate all your intimacy with each other)
You can't just shove his penis in and expect it work. Anal sex takes a long time to get ready for and a lot of clitoral play For starters you have to get ready for it a day in advance with your diet. ..................
Very informative post, but wow that sounds like a lot of work.
Oh it's an entire afternoon of licking and poking to have comfortable anal. It usually comes with practically endless cunnilingus and a full body massage, at least the way I do it It's all worth it when you see her eyes roll back in her head as she blisses out and orgasams from multiple stimulus from vaginal and cliteral play. Just takes a very slow approach and a lot of trust that you won't do anything to hurt her. It's really one of those once in a while sex acts but if you do it right you what they say. Give a man a bj and you make his day. Give a man anal and you make his whole week
So my husband is really curious about the anal sex thing....we've been together for 9 years just about, and i've let him "put it in" like 1 or 2 times.....It freaking hurts, and that's why we avoid it....but i know that it excites him....it kind of excited me too, but it's hard to get over the pain....also, I'm worried that if we do that, then there won't be anything left that he feels the need to conquer...i guess you could say that....also, I would be scared that he would prefer anal all the time compared to regular sex....I think that it would be one of those things that I would only want every now and then....because he's my husband, and I think he's entitled to all of me....are there any tips that could help with the pain? And before the question is asked, we have tried lube, and he's VERY VERY gentle about it....but it still hurts....thanks a lot!
Hi zali ~
Each of has a set of sexual things that fit into the following categories:
- things we love to do
- things we are okay with doing (we may not like that much, but maybe our spouse does)
- things we would like to really try
- things we would be okay with trying
- things that are past our acceptable boundary for doing
Figure out into which category your desire for engaging in anal sex is. Figure out into which category your husband's desire for engaging in anal sex is.
If your desire is in the 'past acceptable boundary', then he will need to learn to respect your wishes.
If your desire is in the 'may be okay with trying' or 'okay with doing', then he needs to understand and accept what the parameters are so that it can be an enjoyable experience for you - especially since anal sex can be painful (e.g., you setting the frequency of the encounters, you setting the pace of each encounter, etc.)
The best thing to do - talk about it with him - very openly. Tell him your fears, your desires, your concerns. Let him have his say and listen to him. You will both be much better at coming to an understanding on this if you are free to discuss it with and listen to each other.
I now find it very enjoyable (I didn't at first, had a bad experience that made me say no for years). With a partner who is willing to take his time and help you relax, and ease in to it; it is very intense. The key is to go slow, relax and have plenty of lube handy. Nsweet has pretty much got it figured out.
Have you ever tried it alone, just you and a small toy? You might find yourself a little more relaxed, which would make it easier. You might also be better able to figure out what works for you and then be able to share those insights with him.
I'm sure he'd love to watch you demonstrate what you've learned!
Baby steps baby steps baby steps. Start with a finger and lots of lube. then get your self a smallish butt plug after a short while you will learn how to relax and allow penetration.
As far as wanting it all the time goes; my experience is no he won't. Also when it comes to penetrating a woman it is always always her choice. Make that clear to him. Tell him you want to give him that but that you won't always feel up to it because of normal bodily functions so timing is everything and only you know when bodily functions allow for it. any decent guy would understand and honor that request.
I'll second that with a caveat. When we had it once in a while, I was ok with once in a while. Because it was usually something we did at the end, and nothing else followed, for reasons of hygiene. And it's nice when you can finish, rest up a bit and play some more!
Now that we don't anymore and it's off the menu, I find myself wanting it much more and thinking about it more. I guess it's true, you crave what you can't have.
But certainly, if you're not up for it any particular time, he ought to respect your feelings. If you can explore it in a way that makes it comfortable and enjoyable for you, and you ask for it when you want it, I bet he'd be thrilled! I know I would be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stonewall
As far as wanting it all the time goes; my experience is no he won't. Also when it comes to penetrating a woman it is always always her choice. Make that clear to him. Tell him you want to give him that but that you won't always feel up to it because of normal bodily functions so timing is everything and only you know when bodily functions allow for it. any decent guy would understand and honor that request.
Very informative post, but wow that sounds like a lot of work.
I'm glad I can take or leave anal sex
I have a very high drive but the only effect nsweet's protocol would have on me is calling the police . I don't care how many hot baths you stick me in punctuated by full body massages-- some things just don't fit!
I have a very high drive but the only effect nsweet's protocol would have on me is calling the police . I don't care how many hot baths you stick me in punctuated by full body massages-- some things just don't fit!
25Likes
Anal sex..... 
What about his anus? It shouldn't be one sided, just say'n.
For starters you have to get ready for it a day in advance with your diet. Nothing spicy or greasy at all should pass your lips because you don't want ther to be an accident in the bedroom. Don't freak out you won't soil yourself with my advice. Now when it comes to cleaning you want to void your bowels a few hours in advance and take a long soak in the tub. Try to relax your whole body as much as possible and play with yourself back there. Just get used to pressing a finger against your rectum and pushing.
. I don't care how many hot baths you stick me in punctuated by full body massages-- some things just don't fit!
