Finding lover because husband is chronically impotent

robertas · 03-25-2012, 04:48 AM

Can it work long-term if I tell my husband about my desire of having sex with the younger man?

endlessgrief · 03-25-2012, 05:01 AM

Oh boy, that would take GUTS!!!!!

robertas · 03-25-2012, 06:20 AM

No courage yet to discuss the idea, I do not want to run away from home with anyone but want to keep the marriage going (we are true soulmates and have two gorgeous kids), but need regular sex after almost four years of frustration and unfortunately kissing, cuddling, petting is not a good substitute anymore.

827Aug · 03-25-2012, 06:26 AM

Has he sought medical help?

I seriously doubt you will remain soul mates once you have an open marriage. You will be giving up a lot. Unfortunately, many times we don't realize what we have until it's gone.

golfergirl · 03-25-2012, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robertas

No courage yet to discuss the idea, I do not want to run away from home with anyone but want to keep the marriage going (we are true soulmates and have two gorgeous kids), but need regular sex after almost four years of frustration and unfortunately kissing, cuddling, petting is not a good substitute anymore.

God that would hurt. Depends on your relationship. Roles reversed would you be ok? I equate sex with love so wouldn't work for me, but that's me. I couldn't.
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dubbizle · 03-25-2012, 07:37 AM

I guess the thing you are missing is the penetration.so why not buy a strap-on that he can use on you so along with the Oral and other things you can think of it might help with the issue.

You are going to have to sit down for a serious talk with your husband and look at all the pros and cons and look at every possible situation.

I would also suggest going to a swinger club[you don't have to swing.once again you don't have to exchange partners]but you may be able to judge your husbands reaction when he sees other husbands and wives going at it with other partners.

maggot brain · 03-25-2012, 07:45 AM

Tell him he can watch and he may be ok with it. Seriously.

FormerNiceGuy · 03-25-2012, 07:53 AM

How about a little more information?

Is this a medical condition? Doctors involved? Psychological? Treatments?

Havesomethingtosay · 03-25-2012, 09:34 AM

You want a lover, not your husband. Your OP states it very clearly that you want a "younger" man.

Your husband needs to know that and if he is not willing to go to the ends of the earth to find a "cure" or as others have commented use a strap on or whatever else is necessary then call it quits.

pidge70 · 03-25-2012, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyFrogFlyAway

What do you mean "the" younger man?

Is there someone else in the picture already?

I seriously was thinking the exact same thing!

morituri · 03-25-2012, 05:03 PM

If he's suffering from chronic ED (erectile dysfunction) it can be a sign of something much more ominous such as diabetes, prostate cancer, kidney disease, neurological disease or cardiovascular disease.

Instead of worrying about getting laid by a younger man, your concern should be on your husband's health and getting him to go see a doctor to have a complete physical examination. Once those diseases are ruled out, then the two of you can search for answers on how to help him restore his erections to make intercourse possible.

lovesherman · 03-25-2012, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robertas

Can it work long-term if I tell my husband about my desire of having sex with the younger man?

Work for whom? You? Your husband? The marriage? You already know the answer.

robertas · 03-26-2012, 11:00 AM

Thank you all for troubling with my messed thoughts - reading so many of your fair replies made me question my own maturity (two-kid mum born in late 60's).
And, admittedly, I wasn't really generous with information, it was merely a rhetorical question if/how could one confused woman hope to grab something more from life without hurting anyone in the process.
Late in the office,, I'll have more time in the evening for typing and will go trough your replies then.
Promise,
Roberta

Havesomethingtosay · 03-26-2012, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robertas

Thank you all for troubling with my messed thoughts - reading so many of your fair replies made me question my own maturity (two-kid mum born in late 60's).
And, admittedly, I wasn't really generous with information, it was merely a rhetorical question if/how could one confused woman hope to grab something more from life without hurting anyone in the process.
Late in the office,, I'll have more time in the evening for typing and will go trough your replies then.
Promise,
Roberta

Your honesty is refreshing. I'm sure many look forward to a more detailed post as to the real issues and what is causing the ED issues.

No one should go 4 years almost sexless with their spouse (and as you state their soulmate).

I am sure it is not easy and look forward to reading what your spouse has done to correct "the situation".

Browncoat · 03-26-2012, 01:53 PM

In the end it depends on him, but I can't help but think that it would hurt your relationship with your husband.

I agree with others though, that he should be checked out by a doctor for physical or hormonal issues.

Not sure, but is he able to get an erection with other stimulus? Even if porn is out of the question, perhaps swimsuit models or something more "light weight"? Is he turned on perhaps by erotic stories more than with pictures?

I would ask yourself though, how you would feel if he slept with someone else? One thing is for certain if you are going to open this Pandora's Box, then you should be able to answer in all truthfulness to yourself that you would be 100% fine with him doing the same.