It really sounds like it could be medical issues that are causing her low libido. She should see a doctor about it and not just because the lack of sex is harming your marriage- there could be something very wrong with her causing it, or there might be other meds that might work for her while keeping her sex drive intact. Maybe the problem is that her meds *aren't* working and it is stressing her.
Quoting an earlier post of mine out of laziness:
"If it isn't medical, it could be a lack of understanding on her part. We womenfolk live in an age where we are told that if we aren't in the mood, no one has the right to try to change our mind. Simultaneously, we are told men are *always* horny, they just want sex, they will say whatever they need to to bed you, etc. It's a terrible situation.
Yes, we should absolutely reserve the right to say no. However, to boil a husband's sexual desire down to just a physical thing is an injustice to both men and women. I know I didn't fully understand that and probably still don't completely... We are told that "men connect physically" but we told in a way that makes it sound inferior, and again, like it is an excuse they give us because they are just horny and will say anything to get sex. She might honestly not believe you when you say it is something you need, because the importance of a physical connection may just sound like a bad pick-up line to her if she doesn't understand.
This honestly might be where a lot of the problems you are having come from.
You could try having her read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
by Laura Schlessinger. Is the woman right about everything? Doubtful. But it is a woman talking about the importance of sex to men, and I know it gave me some food for thought."
As to her clothing choice, some women gain confidence by wearing lingerie. I personally wear lingerie to job interviews- they have no idea I am doing it and for whatever reason, I find it very empowering and it allows me to adopt a more confident persona. Some women just find it more comfortable (they lost me on that one). Since she works at a restaurant, getting dolled up and allowing occasional "accidental" peeks at sexy underwear might net her more tips (you never know
I don't understand why she would be unwilling to accept compliments unless she possibly felt they were insincere (not saying you were). She might be having some self-esteem issues and might not want to believe you are attracted to her. Some people might suggest she might be cheating or trying to attract other men, which is possible but obviously exploring alternatives first is a good idea IMO.
It really sounds like you are trying to respect her and that you love her and I'm sorry you are hurting right now.
Ultimately, your emotional needs are not being met (as well as physical) and if she is unwilling to work on the problems, you might have to face a hard decision about whether or not you can spend the rest of your life in that situation.