Re: Long marriage...not much sex.
Wow, DanG! Very interesting. He is the epitome of a nice guy. To the point that when I try to challenge anything or a dispute of some type starts, he won't allow it. If he thinks he's irritated me or the like, he follows me around like a lost puppy. He depends on my for lots of things. He will openly admit, I take care of things and he counts on me to make decisions. He's petrified that I'm going to leave him, but don't think he ever let's himself think it will ever happen, mainly because of the "church". He makes lots of comments recently that I feel are aimed to "guilt" me into never considering it. Comments about the church, God, and the kids.
I've just started glancing at what you suggested. Makes a lot of sense. Recently in one of our marriage counseling sessions, during some one on one time I had with the therapist, I asked her a question. I told her I was struggling to understand why he wanted to stay in this marriage and was "ok to live this way" (his words), considering he said he has felt unloved by me. I got a look of shock and an "are you kidding me?" I wasn't. She proceeded to list various characteristics and reasons that outweigh the things he's unhappy about. Then she paused and said, "Ultimately, you look good on his arm and you take care of things". But not taking care of the ultimate thing for a man, I've still been puzzled. So, very interesting to start reading what you suggested. Thank you.
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