Originally Posted by Tall Average Guy View Post
Please expand a bit on why you feel "hurt betrayed and used." What is it about his actions (both the vasectomy and others) that makes you feel this way?
Also, it seems like his wishes are not to have another child. What are your thoughts about that?
I think having a bit more of this information would help the advice you might get.
Okay, I'll gladly give you more details.
We both talked about what we wanted in life.. His wishes were to buy hunting property, have a son, and live on a small ranch with a pond, so he could fish daily. He has it all, plus more.
Mine on the other hand were few. I always wanted a big family and to live in a big house, (Nothing fancy) that I didn't feel cramped in.
I know that WE decided for him to have the vasectomy, but, it was very soon after the birth of our second son, so a lot of it was hormonal. I realized we were making the decision too soon and knew that we needed more time to think things through. This is why, because I KNEW I wanted another child. The fact that he did it knowing I didn't want him to hurts me. I feel like if our son was a girl, he wouldn't have went through with it, that's were the used feelings come from. I wouldn't take him to his appt so he had his grandmother take him. Having a another baby means a lot to me and my son.. He's always asking about having a brother or sister because he is around his cousins and friends who have siblings.
Then there is the house.. We live deep into our city where we don't have neighbors. If he is so strong headed about having another child, I wanted to move into the city where our son can have neighborhood friends. He is lonely and I feel like a failure.
I feel like our marriage is one sided. He has the final word and that's it. He said he doesn't want to have another child because HE wants to retire early, but, it didn't bother him to spend a ton of money for property. Am I wrong for feeling like this? Shouldn't he have listened to me, when I asked him to wait?
Bottom Line - I want a bigger house in civilization, and another child and can't have either.
He made sure he got EVERYTHING he wanted.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond. I sincerely appreciate it!