Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-15-2012, 12:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly

I have suffered from impotence for quite awhile now. I am in my late 30's and have been to the doctor, urologists, the whole line of them. I have had testosterone tests, tried Viagra, Cialis, etc. While I can gain some function from the drugs I am never totally hard anymore. The doctors have been unable to find a cause for that. My post is not necessarily so much about that part though.

Due to my situation my wife has gotten frustrated over time. She doesn't bring it up but it is obvious and while oral and toys are great it isn't replacing the real thing. I had asked her in the past if she wanted to try someone else and at the time was rebuffed. As time has gone on though it's been discussed in kind of a fantasy type situation. However, the last time we discussed it while playing I asked if she really wanted it and she said yes. I know she was hot at the time and was a bit embarrassed. After the fact though she did admit she thought about it and how many times it would be nice. I honestly didn't feel betrayed or anything, I understood actually and want her to have that pleasure.

Is there any other men out there in a similar situation who have a wife in need this way and how did you handle it?
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly

Hub,

There are a few other options than pills for ED

Go back to your urologista and discuss further. It could even be as simple as upping the doseage of the pills

Don't give up yet!
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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While I can't help you I just wanted to say its great that you are open and honest about it. I had a reverse situation where my husband didn't tell me and I went through hell for months trying to find out what was wrong with me. By miracle I guess it resolved itself but it has caused alot of trust issues now we are trying to work our way out of it.

Good for you being straight with your W.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly

Thanks for the encouragement. I haven't totally given up but the reality is it has been going on for years and hasn't improved. I'm going to keep working on it though, seeing doctors, and hopefully at some point will find a solution.

I know the potential issues of her being with another guy but also am realistic about the issues of her not being fulfilled. I know it's dangerous to make the fantasy play a reality with her and another guy but am thinking at this stage I'd rather it be part of our marriage that we plan together than her being unsatisfied and risking something more than just a sexual relationship develop between her and another man because of this situation.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly

AGD,

Look into MUSE first before you take that step.

I'm a pharmacist and it's very very helpful for many of my patients.

Out of desire to please your wife (understandable), I wouldn't want you to cross that bridge without it being your only option.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly

How is your exercise regimine and your diet? Sometimes it's as simple as that...
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Old 04-16-2012, 03:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trojan John View Post
How is your exercise regimine and your diet? Sometimes it's as simple as that...
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I am active, play sports, maintain a healthy weight and actually trim/slender body. From a diet perspective I do eat some things that are bad for me but I also rarely if ever eat things like fast food etc.
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Impotence - Question for anyone else suffering similarly

sounds physiological.

do you resent your wife. is she demanding.

how about when you masterbate? do you watch alot of porn? that can sometime desenatize your tool or give you too much visial stimulation which then would make it hard to stay hard with your wife.
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by chillymorn View Post
sounds physiological.

do you resent your wife. is she demanding.

how about when you masterbate? do you watch alot of porn? that can sometime desenatize your tool or give you too much visial stimulation which then would make it hard to stay hard with your wife.
No I don't resent her, she is pretty laid back. I do watch porn occasionally b/c it's easier for me to get off by masturbation even when not totally hard. Although I don't watch it all the time, most times I masturbate is just to things in my imagination.
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