Originally Posted by sandc Yes I do get your point. Your church was teaching your wrong and you beat yourself up over it for years. My wife was really repressed too. It took a lot of serious study of the Bible to realize that lust between a husband and wife isn't bad. Lust between any other two people is not good
You are speaking out of 2 sides of your mouth here... My church was teaching me EXACTLY what you believe... You just said it ...LUST BETWEEN anyone not married is NOT GOOD = sinful.
Eight years is way too long to keep it in your pants. If a guy is unwilling or unable to marry a gal within 2 years, he should move on. Why 8 years?
Because I met him when I was 15, he was the only guy I ever dated, after so many years, I wasn't sure
, I felt I never had any experiences, gave his ring back (he was devestated), dated another , then realized what I had..... he would have married me right out of high school.... we both had lousy jobs, It was me who wasn't ready, and I wanted a BIG wedding....our own place.... there was a season... I waited for "peace in my heart"...I was not going to rush ahead, then have regrets later, ruin his life...... it all fell together beautifully....It was 'THE SEASON" for us...Preacher even used that scripture while we stood before him.
I do not feel people should get married just cause they are burning with lust... don't agree with you at all. There is this one guy at my Church, within 8 yrs, this dude married 3 differnt women because he was trying to honor those LUST scriptures, they were all disaster marraiges.....look what he left behind.
You know what kills me about Christians.... NONE of you can live up to those rediculous expectations....and the handful who do are so damn PROUD of it... they generally judge everyone around them. Also, I might add, the ones who DO... are likely lower drive people, or they would be going crazy.
OK, I hear how you look at this... we are all sinners, sue me. Yep, that is all I ever got from Church... I am a pathetic lowly wretched sinner... I felt like I was worthless DUST for years..blood had to be shed for me to look my head up upon that cross... or I deserved Hell... My mother used to have this picture ....the blood dripping down Jesus face, along with the tears....damn what a GUILT TRIP ! How do you get that out of your head.
Love how christians tell everyone they deserve hell without a sacrifice.... that is some nasty sh** rolling around in your head when we are growing up.
Everything I did...listen to rock music, that was a sin..burned my Guns & ROses CD once in the fire..what was the point, when "Welcome to the Jungle" came on the radio, I couldn't resist jamming to it anyway, loved Highway to Hell too! Enjoyed soap operas...that was a sin...R rated sex scene...oh that was gooood ! I was nothing but pathetic.... eat too much chocolate, gluttony now...
I no longer view my Creator as that much of a KILL JOY.....it was not healthy for my psyche to experience all of that. I had no desire to be that damn pure anyway. None of that was good news to me. I felt like a scourge all the time.
Pleasure is a gift, We are still sexual even before we marry, to deny these things, is, in my opioion, is to set yourself up for the bullsh** I did. I went to one of those Purity Ring Seminars... last year ...WOW....they don't even think you should kiss..a lingering kiss. Really !! Getting too close to the creekbank. My Lord. Why set our standards THIS HIGH - when 99.9% is going to fail and take on guilt & shame for it. Did a thread on that too: Any Parents familair with "Silver Ring Thing" -Purity Ring movement?
I could no longer view God in the ways you do. I read all about where this stuff comes from, started with St Augustine & his connecting the Original Sin doctrine (I don't believe in that either) ....to SEX !
I got 6 kids to raise.. I don't want them to go through what I did. I want them to be "balanced".....the dating years are vital to how they go on and view these things. With all I have said here.. you likely get the idea I am for casual sex... NOT AT ALL. I even see it as sacred.