She said it didn't feel good. How can you compare that to your desire for a harem of women that you would desire? Your example is fantasy, hers is authentic and real for her.
They're both selfish and unreasonable. That's the comparison. It doesn't much matter the motivation behind the selfishness. It's all pretty much the same anyway. Either we want more of what feels good, or we want less of what doesn't feel good. Whether we're talking about harems, or denying husbands sex, or robbing banks, or taking candy from babies, it's selfish motivations that is the topic.
If you expect her to behave differently against her thoughts & feelings, why is it you don't expect the same from men?
Where have I said I don't? To the contrary. I expect BOTH spouses in a marriage to compromise. You seem to expect the husbands to serve their wives and the wives to accept their husbands' service. That is selfish.
I don't have time to try and find Disney wannabee's. Are they comparable to Playboy Bunny wannabee's?
Nope. The Bunny wannabees probably like sex.
Do you really think that out of the million of divorced women you speak of, none chose to divorce their husbands?
No. I never said that.
For the record, I said what you were speaking of was not a threat to me nor is it ever a motivator for my behavior in my relationship. So I was speaking directly about my perspective, not the united front of women. Since us womenfolk generally can't agree on anything.
Thanks for clearing that up. It appeared you were arguing that the threat of divorce between men and selfish women, in general, was empty. Given the numbers of divorces in this country, that's obviously an erroneous conclusion.
If you believe that your husband would never divorce you, no matter how poorly you treated him, you may be right. Not knowing your husband, I have no way of knowing. Then again, you may be wrong.
Another thing my husband would never say to me is that it was my wifely duty to have sex with him. I can't even imagine it. It's comical to me.
You say you're LD, yet have sex 3-4x per week. It seems to me that you understand that it's your duty to engage in sex with your husband. If you disagree, try a little experiment. Stop having sex with your husband for three months. See if he has anything to say about it. If not, try to notice any changes in his behavior. If sex is truly as superfluous to a marriage as you claim, it should be no problem.
In your last paragraph you said that you think it's wrong for a woman to force a man into a sexless marriage even though the woman you speak of puts out far more than that. She's wrong and selfish in your mind just for having thoughts. Boy oh boy.
Let's put it another way. A mother of two young children, who is in your social circle, feeds her kids three times a day. When she sees you, she tells you how great her kids are, but says that she doesn't think she should be required to feed them more than once a week. She says she would happily feed them once a week. But, the multiple times per day is just causing her to resent her kids. She asks for your advice on whether she would be justified in feeding her kids only once a week. You obviously tell her that she should continue feeding her kids three times per day because that's what they need and good mothers meet their children's needs.
Her actions, of feeding her kids three times per day, are fine. Her attitude, of wanting to feed them once a week, is not. Would you call her a selfish mother? Or would you defend her and say that's she's just being true to her thoughts and feelings?
Even though I might agree with you that 12x's a year is not a healthy marriage for either man or woman, what I find so strange is that you don't find fault with a man forcing a woman into an over sex'd marriage.
Because that's not the issue here. I would. I would also find fault with a man who beats his wife. Should we bring up all the possible sins that a man could commit in his marriage so that we can balance out the criticism of a selfish wife? Why?
Oh but who defines over sex'd right? Who says 12x's a year is sexless either? Marriage counselors? Men? Women who feel it's their duty to sex up their husbands? L/D or H/D? Sheesh.
Really. I mean, who says we should have to feed our kids three times a day? The grocery stores? Food companies? Men? Sheesh.
Seriously. Even if you don't believe the mental health professionals, of both sexes, who have a standard for defining sexless marraiges, just look through this board for numerous examples of men whose wives give them monthly (at best) "let's get this over with" sex. These men are beaten down and crushed by the rejection. It seems quite cruel to dismiss them by saying that a monthly standard is probably just some conspiracy by the patriarchy to keep wives in line.
How do we come to these conclusions? A relationship is between two people. They either get it right together or they don't. Balance. When a woman vocalizes that sex makes her feel bad but she's doing it out of obligation and wonders why. It needs to be addressed by her partner. Telling her to buck up and put out is selfish.
To the contrary. Since I don't know this woman, it is of little or no consequence to me whether she has a happy marriage or an unhappy marriage. And if her husband would be happy in a sexless marriage, then I say go for it. However, the poster stated that her husband wants frequent sex. So it's unlikely he would be happy in a sexless marriage. Given that the poster's actions already reflect a compromise to have sex with her husband a few times a week, it seems she knows that this is the reasonable course of action. So she has two choices. She could adjust her attitude so that she doesn't resent making reasonable compromises in her marriage. Or, she could change her actions to match her unreasonable and selfish attitude. It's clear that the first choice will result in a happier marriage than the second. I fail to see how trying to engender compromise in a marriage of which I am not a part, to make both spouses happier, is a selfish act. It seems more selfish to advocate for the destruction of the marriage in the name of girl power.