Sexless marriage - update
Hi all. So I have posted before, a few months back, about the lack of sex in my marriage and I wanted to follow up.
Still no sex since June 2010 and last night I stated plainly to my wife that I simply cannot tolerate this much longer and I cannot live in a sexless marriage. I did not intend to spark a huge argument, but needless to say, we had a huge argument. Oh, how I yearn for the days when arguments finished up with apologetic make-up sex of the tenderest kind. Now, arguments simply end in tears and sleepless nights and a mutual attempt to forget the problem the next day.
I said she needs to find a way to fix this because I have tried everything. All she could say is that she is tired and gives everything she has into being a mother, and has nothing left to give as a wife. Well I think that is bullsh*t quite frankly. Since when are mothers and wives mutually exclusive things? Since when do mothers stop having sex? It's not like I want sex in the middle of nappy-changing or baby-feeding for Christ sake! Just once a month, love-making quietly in the dead of night would be great. But that's asking too much.
End result she threatened to walk out and leave me. Frankly I was tempted to say "go ahead" - and I would have, if it weren't for the prospect of losing my darling son. Instead I said "you might as well, there's no relationship here any more, no marriage, no sex. If you walk out, I'll get the same amount of sex I've got for the last 2 years". I might as well be a bachelor the way I live now.
I tried to explain that I am not a sex-crazed pervert, I'm just a man, with a man's needs. I LOVE her and I desperately want to be a husband, a lover, a MAN, but thanks to her denial of sex for nearly 2 years, I have lost myself, been rejected time and again by her, cast adrift, cut lose, shut out from the intimacy I once knew. I tried to explain that although we are parents we must also keep hold of a RELATIONSHIP between the two of us. I tried to explain that I was sad. I cried.
She cried too and then said that she was tired and didn't need this and then she went to sleep.
For some reason I felt compelled to apologise. I held her while she went to sleep. Then I felt myself becoming aroused and had to turn over, and sleep with my hard **** and swollen balls pressed against my pillow, trying to thing of boring things to make me sleep.
I do all I can to help her. I do all I can to take the tiredness away. To be a helpful and supportive father. I work hard to provide for my family. I get NOTHING in return.
Is this the end? Should I quit now, or is there any hope in hell of saving this marriage?