I'm starting to think something is wrong with me...
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » I'm starting to think something is wrong with me...

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-17-2012, 09:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 20
Default I'm starting to think something is wrong with me...

Hello everyone, it's been about a month and a half since I posted about my fiancee's one time relapse into porn, and since then, I believe he has not watched an ounce of it.

There are still different problems though, and I don't want to be the cause of him going back to porn...

I haven't wanted an ounce of sex from him for a long, long time. I feel as though my trust issues with him, have ultimately ruined my libido...

The other night though, I almost felt sick to my stomach. I am almost 8 months pregnant right now, and I was having a very off day...just wasn't in a good mood. He knew that, I told him I just didn't want to talk to anyone, etc. I fell asleep in the late afternoon, and woke up to him next to me. I said I wouldn't mind if we cuddled (I thought maybe it would make me feel better.)

But instead he was apparently horny, told me to get more comfortable, and when I said I was already comfortable, he began to take off my shorts and I told him I wasn't in the mood, he stuck it in anyways, and did it while I layed there completely emotionless, only making faces of pain because he was pushing down on my hips...at one point, he said "It's like I am raping you..."

My thought exactly...it reminded me of the time I woke up to one of my ex boyfriends taking advantage of me after I had taken a sleeping pill...

I cried after, he didn't even notice because I hid it. I then went and slept on the couch while he took the bed.

I'm wondering if it's my fault he's acting this way...I have tried to be supportive and do what I can to help him get over his porn addiction, but it's hard when the trust was broken, and after that...I haven't had even an ounce of lust for him.

Last night he finally masturbated by himself "apparently". I don't check his phone or computer often anymore, but I think I will have to tonight just to ease my mind. I know it's not the right thing to do, but in order for me to trust him again without constantly asking him if he has watched porn, it's what I need to do.

How can I fix my sex issues though? He's never romantic in any way, I just sort of always feel that because I am pregnant, he feels he doesn't need to be romantic...
Dalicias is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-17-2012, 11:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Browncoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,887
Default Re: I'm starting to think something is wrong with me...

That is not healthy at ALL! You need to make it clear that there are some boundaries he can't cross. When you say you're not in the mood, that's not an invitation for sex. If he's so hot to trot, let him show his love for you in others ways... maybe it will help get you in the mood. I'd instruct him that if he ever tries anything like that again you are gone. The separation (temporary or not), will give him time to really think about how he treats you.

He needs to understand that in real life, women aren't like porn. They aren't instantly ready to satisfy his sexual desires. He needs to understand that unlike porn a real woman has feelings and needs, and it's his job to meet them as an expression of his love for you. Raping you is the exact opposite.

Honestly I'd wonder about the state of his heart that he could even do that to you. When my wife isn't comfortable during sex, I'm not comfortable with continuing at ALL.

You two need to see a counselor. I'd also warn him that if he tries anything like that again, you'll leave: just pack up and separate until he starts acting like a loving gentleman. If he returns to porn that's his choice (and a poor one given what you've discussed before about porn). You need to be most concerned for your safety and he needs to learn to respect you more.
Browncoat is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Really starting to think the OM is POS!! bigtone128 Coping with Infidelity 14 10-17-2012 12:55 AM
Menage a Trois gone wrong....so wrong EbonyBreal The Ladies' Lounge 72 07-16-2012 11:26 PM
If you were starting to have ED, what would you want lisa3girls The Men's Clubhouse 22 06-15-2011 11:53 AM
Starting Over brighterlight Going Through Divorce or Separation 13 05-26-2011 11:00 AM
Starting to get it Hurtin' unit Going Through Divorce or Separation 7 05-05-2010 10:34 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:32 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.