inspiredpauper

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. Together for 4 and very much in love. We have a 2 1/2 year old boy and another boy due in August. Which makes me 6 months pregnant. I was totally normal "hormone-wise" during my first pregnancy and nothing ever sparked any anger or sadness. With this pregnancy, I am just over the top hormonal. Laughing, laughing, laughing, CRYING. It's really crazy. But I'm the world's nicest person. Seriously ALOT of people have told me they wonder how I'm so happy and nice. I'm totally passive and nothing bothers me. But now, I'm so hormonal that i'm easily upset and really easily angered. My husband works 60-70 hours a week and he's always tired. He's also the "routine" type of guy and he doesn't like getting off schedule. we usually have sex 2-3 times a week but its ALWAYS "quickies" and I generally don't get mine. To me it's quality, not quantity. But lately, I feel like he's been arguing about everything even though I am trying to make him happy. Examples: he wanted to get out of an apartment so we got a house even though it was out of our price range. he wasn't sleeping well so we bought a new bed which adds $200+ a month to our bills. WE wanted another baby so we tried almost a year for a baby and finally got pregnant in november. And he wanted to get away from work so we took a 4 day trip for fishing last weekend.
but he tells me all he feels like he's doing is working and I think that because he wanted the house, the bed, the baby, the trip... those things cost money and he's the only one working. I'm a stay at home mom. So since he's the only one working, he thinks I have to be on HIS schedule. including sex. And if he needs to be in bed every night by 9:30pm to be up at 5:00am, we have to find the time for sex. Our kid doesn't go to bed until 9pm and I still need a shower and by the time I'm out, the hubby's asleep. This is just examples... but I'm sick of the arguments and I just don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions? I feel like if this isn't resolved, I will resent him and that's the LAST thing I want.

Browncoat

It sounds like he's quite the career driven man, and at some level that's admirable. Still what's the point of acquiring wealth and things in loo of life and happiness now.

I think every man needs to make, and occasionally re-evaluate, how much focus he wants to invest in work and home life. A long time ago I picked family life first. I make a decent salary, enough that my wife and I have a house in a safe neighborhood. We don't own a lot of fancy things, nor do we take fancy vacations. What we do have though in spades is happiness.

I used to spend 60-80+ hours a week in the office (and another 10-30 hours a week at home) before our kids were born. It was crazy, and for me it was a combination of things that drove me to work like that. My wife took me aside once kids were getting to toddler age, and it was then that my priorities shifted.

I've not had a serious promotion in 10 years, but frankly the money I make is fine and the sacrifices I'd have to make in my life in order to push to take my career to the next level just aren't worth it (for any of us).