Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Never have understood this, love pleasing my wife any way, any time. I live by this rule the more fun SHE has the more fun I am going to have and I like to have lots of fun.
Owl, you should have your husband read the book called "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. It's basically a step-by-step instructional on how to give proper oral to a woman to ensure she gets off from it.
Many men don't realize that the process to get a woman to orgasm from oral is a slow, gentle build-up that can take on average about 20 minutes (some woman are different and can get there more quickly). Not knowing this, men often get lost in the moment while giving oral and start moving too fast or start getting too rough and it basically ruins the moment for the woman.
I recommend this because if your man starts giving your oral and suddenly he doesn't know how to do it properly, you may still find yourself dissatisfied and he will become emotionally torn by that seeing himself as a failure to please, and it could possibly do more damage to your relationship as a result.
Owl, you should have your husband read the book called "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. It's basically a step-by-step instructional on how to give proper oral to a woman to ensure she gets off from it.
I am not sure how he would react to that. What if I offend him, and he thinks I am telling him that he has no skills or something??
He does have other excellent skills...I would imagine his knowledge of how to use his hands could translate into using his tongue the same way...
At this point, I am just looking for him to make the attempt. We can fine tune the detail from there.
I would almost rather go down on a woman than have intercourse. Sometimes intercourse can get boring, but watching and feeling a woman writhe as I orally stimulate her...hearing her moan....man that's a powerful feeling.
I love both giving and receiving oral. My husband is one of very few lucky men that is married to a woman who actually enjoys giving him oral sex!
But he very rarely returns the favor
I don't know if he doesn't like doing it, if he is unsure of what or how he is doing or what. I will tell him that I will give him oral and he can return the favor and he agrees, but then never follows through.
How can I ask for this in a subtle way?
Some men have issues with " returning the favour ".,so that they lose their erection when they give oral and its difficult to get back as hard after.
some guys just don't know what to do, and are afraid to ask.Everybody is wired differently,and sometimes the wires are crossed. As for me , I love seeing my wife so aroused that her legs actually shake....
Only one thing gets her like that.
Heh I'm in the same boat. I give all the time and and more than happy to swallow...but I don't get it in return. Every time I think about this and get annoyed I tell myself that next time if he asks or shoves it in my face (I kind of like when he gets aggressive like that) that I'll tell him only if I get it as well....but I always forget or I cave because I love giving so much. I actually crave it at times and can't seem to give it up temporarily or post pone it. Oh well.
Owl, you should have your husband read the book called "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. It's basically a step-by-step instructional on how to give proper oral to a woman to ensure she gets off from it.
Many men don't realize that the process to get a woman to orgasm from oral is a slow, gentle build-up that can take on average about 20 minutes (some woman are different and can get there more quickly). Not knowing this, men often get lost in the moment while giving oral and start moving too fast or start getting too rough and it basically ruins the moment for the woman.
I recommend this because if your man starts giving your oral and suddenly he doesn't know how to do it properly, you may still find yourself dissatisfied and he will become emotionally torn by that seeing himself as a failure to please, and it could possibly do more damage to your relationship as a result.
That's why my hubs doesn't do it much. I bruised his ego by not making him feel like a sex god cuz I never orgasmed. According to him he'd be down there "forever" and nothing would happen so he'd just give up. Blah.
I love both giving and receiving oral. My husband is one of very few lucky men that is married to a woman who actually enjoys giving him oral sex!
But he very rarely returns the favor
I don't know if he doesn't like doing it, if he is unsure of what or how he is doing or what. I will tell him that I will give him oral and he can return the favor and he agrees, but then never follows through.
How can I ask for this in a subtle way?
Your husband doesn't know how good he's got it. I'm in the same position as you but my wife won't/ can't do oral at all. I'm really at my wits end. After almost 25 years of marriage I'm just worn out by the dissimilarities in our sexual drives, preferences, everything and ready to walk out of this hell. I love her so much and believe she loves me just as much in every way except the one I need. Every time she makes any tiny effort she treats it like the UN delivering Peace on Earth and then is angry if I don't applaud her daring and courage.
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Re: How about oral, the other way around? 
