Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I love both giving and receiving oral. My husband is one of very few lucky men that is married to a woman who actually enjoys giving him oral sex!
But he very rarely returns the favor
I don't know if he doesn't like doing it, if he is unsure of what or how he is doing or what. I will tell him that I will give him oral and he can return the favor and he agrees, but then never follows through.
How can I ask for this in a subtle way?
I love both giving and receiving oral. My husband is one of very few lucky men that is married to a woman who actually enjoys giving him oral sex!
But he very rarely returns the favor
I don't know if he doesn't like doing it, if he is unsure of what or how he is doing or what. I will tell him that I will give him oral and he can return the favor and he agrees, but then never follows through.
How can I ask for this in a subtle way?
welcome to my world!
hes knows you want it but has some sort of handg up about it. or is just to damn selfish/lazy.
when this happens and I push the issue (gently) I get a half a$$ attempt with a sux what look on her face. and then the mood is killed and I don't even enjoy it.
good luck hope it dosn't build too much resentment then you won't even want to have sex with him!
Unless he really wants to do it and suggests it I don't think there is some subtle way to ask him.
You just have to be blunt and ask, tell him how much you'd love it. Unless he's got some sort of aversion, save just being lazy, I don't see why he wouldn't. If he's being lazy or selfish that's another matter.
If he does have some sort of aversion, best to clear the air anyway.
I still haven't been able to bring myself to just ask him LOL. Pretty sad since we have been together almost 10 years now .
Anyway, what reminded of this thread was last week, my husband started sending me some of the dirtiest text messages ever and he said he want to do this (but in a much dirtier, sexy way that I can't post here LOL!)
So I responded that I would love for him to do it and he better not be teasing me. Later that evening after work and putting the kid to bed, we had a great time, but still no oral from him . I think in that case he had worked himself up too much through out the day to have the patience to do it haha.
But I thought I had dropped a nice hint that I would love for him to do it. I even joked one day that I would put cookies in my panties if it would get him to lick them and he said he would do it without the cookies. I get the feeling that he doesn't oppose it or not want to do it, but that he just doesn't want to slow down and take the time or maybe he feels unsure about what to do or something.
I'm gonna make this dream happen dammit!
I still haven't been able to bring myself to just ask him LOL. Pretty sad since we have been together almost 10 years now .
Anyway, what reminded of this thread was last week, my husband started sending me some of the dirtiest text messages ever and he said he want to do this (but in a much dirtier, sexy way that I can't post here LOL!)
So I responded that I would love for him to do it and he better not be teasing me. Later that evening after work and putting the kid to bed, we had a great time, but still no oral from him . I think in that case he had worked himself up too much through out the day to have the patience to do it haha.
But I thought I had dropped a nice hint that I would love for him to do it. I even joked one day that I would put cookies in my panties if it would get him to lick them and he said he would do it without the cookies. I get the feeling that he doesn't oppose it or not want to do it, but that he just doesn't want to slow down and take the time or maybe he feels unsure about what to do or something.
I'm gonna make this dream happen dammit!
I hope you do, and if you have a spouse who is talking about being willing to do so, it will happen eventually.
Speaking as a guy (who quite enjoys doing this by the way. My partner doesn't want to recieve oral, but that's another story) my advise would be to just wait for a few weeks and see if it happens. If it does happen, be sure to tell him how much you liked it and enjoyed it, thank him for it, and tell him he's welcome to continue doing it in the future. I'd avoid critism, even constructive critism, for the first little bit (unless he's hurting you somehow or he's just absoltuely terrible at it). Let him build up his ego a bit, then 'guide' him to make it better. Try and put yourself in his shoes and pretend you are uncomfortable doing it, and what type of feedback would help you become more comfortable with it.
I think you are well on your way, as communication is what will open most doors. If for some reason it doesn't happen in the next few weeks, then try and bring up the subject again and just ask where he's at and what he thinks. Get the communication flowing.
when he is laying in bed just crawl up there with your waist where his head is, swing a leg over on the other side and slowly lower yourself down.
i love that myself.
or like others have said, he goes first or it doesnt happen.
Sorry - but I keep thinking "the other way around" sounds like some new oral technique!!!
I don't understand why he would tease you all day and then not follow through...
Me neither!!! He did it again two days ago. When we both got home from work I whispered that I planned to hold him to his promises and he said good because he was going to do everything he said he would. Then I guess he just couldn't hold back and wound up just bending me over the bed and going at it.
Damn it, you gotta pre-heat the oven before you bake the cookies!!
I am getting beyond frustrated now. I don't know if it is just impatience on his part or selfishness or laziness. He has never been a selfish or lazy lover in almost 10 years, so I really just think all of the dirty talk gets him too worked up to control himself.
I feel like at this point I have made it clear what I want and he has agreed that he will do it, but he just never does.
And trust me, I am just as fond of giving as I am receiving.
I was in the same boat. NEVER in 18 years of marriage, 23 together been on the receiving end. Always gave bjs willingly (and swallowed!) and could not get an honest answer (yes, I asked!) why no return. Finally he told me that other women (over 23 years ago!!) smelled funny. I have shaved, bathed and presented myself in a greeting card, and finally after suggesting a nooner, he came home for an afternoon delight and OMG. I didn't orgasm, I think I was too worked up (I usually can O pretty fast when I'm all worked up) but I did really enjoy and look forward to our next encounter
Me neither!!! He did it again two days ago. When we both got home from work I whispered that I planned to hold him to his promises and he said good because he was going to do everything he said he would. Then I guess he just couldn't hold back and wound up just bending me over the bed and going at it.
Damn it, you gotta pre-heat the oven before you bake the cookies!!
I am getting beyond frustrated now. I don't know if it is just impatience on his part or selfishness or laziness. He has never been a selfish or lazy lover in almost 10 years, so I really just think all of the dirty talk gets him too worked up to control himself.
I feel like at this point I have made it clear what I want and he has agreed that he will do it, but he just never does.
And trust me, I am just as fond of giving as I am receiving.
How is your husbands sex drive? If he gets it one day, does he get easily worked up the next day? If not, perhaps pushing the issue the day after might get him there because he won't be humming along at 100 mph in his pants.
16Likes
How about oral, the other way around? 
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. I think in that case he had worked himself up too much through out the day to have the patience to do it haha.
