Originally Posted by 2nd_t!me iz_best

exactly

i have sometimes been able to tell, no question

other times its like
but she said she had a couple times.

Originally Posted by LadyFrogFlyAway

How about a flashing neon sign we can hold up that reads, "OH GAWD I'M CUMMING AND HOLY CR*P DOES IT FEEL GOOD!!!"

Originally Posted by LadyFrogFlyAway

How about a flashing neon sign we can hold up that reads, "OH GAWD I'M CUMMING AND HOLY CR*P DOES IT FEEL GOOD!!!"

Originally Posted by LadyFrogFlyAway

How about a flashing neon sign we can hold up that reads, "OH GAWD I'M CUMMING AND HOLY CR*P DOES IT FEEL GOOD!!!"

Originally Posted by ladyfrogflyaway

how about a flashing neon sign we can hold up that reads, "oh gawd i'm cumming and holy cr*p does it feel good!!!"

Originally Posted by Browncoat

Wait you don't have one? I thought since my wife had one... oh nvm.

Originally Posted by shy_guy

I'm going to disagree with you on this. You are one woman, and you say you don't like this (and I'll believe you). You're not "women." I think it can be discussed in the afterglow, but like everything else, communication with each other is something you have to learn. Are you willing to learn, AND teach? That's a better question ... and communication IS ESSENTIAL to having a fulfilling sexual relationship.

Man or woman, when people read on here, we learn some tendencies sometimes, but I often find that things people claim to apply to "women" don't apply to my wife. Almost as often, things that apply to "men" don't always apply to me. I'm sure others will find the same thing. In the end, you're going to have to learn to ask of your husband or wife if you want the answer that applies to him/her, and they have to be willing to answer honestly.

Originally Posted by 2nd_t!me iz_best

reaches over and turns it on as she is yawning

Originally Posted by working_together

Ok, lets say you are getting intimate with your partner, everything is going well, the guy is performing oral, doing a fine job, the woman orgasms and expresses this vocally, physically, the whole works. Would there be a possibility that you wouldn't know??? So the guy says "did you cum".

Nice..now that is a major turn off.

I can't imagine a guy being so clueless that he wouldn't know if his partner orgasmed or not.....

thoughts?

Originally Posted by shy_guy

So serious question: How do you expect him to ever learn about you?

And how do you expect to ever learn about him?

And suppose you guys get this down somehow without really talking about it, how will you continue to learn and explore if you can't communicate openly and directly?

Have you considered that maybe there is more to sex than just an orgasm for him, and that getting answers to questions like this is part of enjoying sex for him? Does it only matter what you find to be a turn-on or a turn-off? Do you know whether or not he finds your answers a turn-on or a turn-off or if there is another reason he asks?

If it is part of his enjoyment of sex, then obviously, some people are veritable Shakespears and can poetically speak of it, get you to speak of it, and feel romanced when you do. Other people aren't exactly Shakespear, but they mean the same thing when they say things like "didja cum?" You know, there might even be potential for more poetic discussion if you can get him comfortable with it, and encourage that, but that would of course, require you to learn to communicate, and maybe we don't have the patience to teach you to communicate properly.

I don't know either one of you, but I'll have to say what I'm following on here seems to me like you're going to lead yourself into a lot of frustration about a lot of things ... not to mention you're going to have to keep coming here and asking questions because you're not willing to work on communicating with him. If you're not patient enough to teach him how to communicate, then you're not going to get the type of communication you seem to want, nor the level you want.

Originally Posted by Love Song

I think you bring up some good points.

And I do agree that communication is important. I would much rather he ask me after the fact (like the next day like I do with him) than ask me right after. For me it's all about creating this mood doing the things to take us there and than enjoying the moment. I don't want to hear that question right after. I want to cuddle and hear that I'm loved after sex or go to sleep. But I cant speak for all women. We are all individuals as you've pointed out.

Originally Posted by working_together

It's not that complicated, there shouldn't be that much communication needed to let him know what I like and don't like. We do communicate ok, and talk about sex. It could be a lot better. He's a bit shy on the talking part so I have to encourage him to open up about sexual conversations. I don't mind really, I enjoy talking about it as long as it leads to more enjoyable sex.

And it's not just about the "silly" question of orgasms, but I have to address his finger technique as well, it's frustrating because he's a decent caring guy, sexually he's got a lot to learn.

Originally Posted by morituri

Maybe the dead guy in the mortuary who was ravaged by the 38 year old woman, could teach us.

Originally Posted by 2nd_t!me iz_best

do you think women are all the same?
all react to the same things the same way?
like the same things?
dislike the same things?
if you can do one woman you can do them all the same way?

idk, maybe he is overboard
find a new man