Men not getting theirs?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Men not getting theirs?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Like Tree24Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-10-2012, 11:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 173
Default Men not getting theirs?

Sometimes when we have sex my husband doesn't climax and he seems okay with it, he just says I got mine and that makes him happy... is this normal or an underlying issue?

I know it's been more frequent since we've been having to use condoms, so I don't know if it's just that it doesn't feel as good, or it takes him longer to get off?

I'd love to hear some guys input on this!
Riven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
lamaga's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 2,534
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

I'd love to hear the guys' input as well!

I can tell you that my husband likes sex (and gets hard) way more often than he can climax, so we frequently have sex that does not lead to an orgasm for him -- took me a while to understand it, but he loves it. He loves frequent sex, and if he doesn't mind not coming, then...uh, ok? (I do prefer it when he comes, though -- feels like I got an A+ )
lamaga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Gaia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In a swamp!
Posts: 9,745
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

Well when not preggy... I never stop until my man gets his.
Gaia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Gaia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In a swamp!
Posts: 9,745
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

One thing that works for me is using the butterfly technique. (Of course I take it as a challenge if hubby doesn't cum so i tend to make him. )
Gaia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Dollystanford's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 10,458
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

my motto: don't stop til you get enough...
__________________
Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollystanford
I don't sweat....I glisten
Dollystanford is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,283
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

Occasionally I have times when I don't get off. I could keep pounding away until I do eventually orgasm and make my wife sore as Hell or wait until tomorrow.
It's no fun when she is so sore that she can't pee, so I always try again tomorrow.
DanF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:45 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
chillymorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,610
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

when I don't orgasm most times it because I'm pi$$ed off and resentfull at her.

another reason is that I took care of things earlier that day. I'm 45 not 25 so that coupled with resentment can make it difficult to complete the task.
chillymorn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
frustr8dhubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 819
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

I have never had the issue yet but since we have sex 2-3 times a month releasing too often isn't an issue.

That being said, condoms do make a HUGE difference for me personally. Without one, I don't last as long as I would like. With one I can last much longer so it definitely desensitizes it.
frustr8dhubby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,044
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riven View Post
Sometimes when we have sex my husband doesn't climax and he seems okay with it, he just says I got mine and that makes him happy... is this normal or an underlying issue?

I know it's been more frequent since we've been having to use condoms, so I don't know if it's just that it doesn't feel as good, or it takes him longer to get off?

I'd love to hear some guys input on this!
The older I get the easier it gets to stop without getting off.
Not really a big deal but not something I do often.

However, your problem is undoubtedly the condoms.

I haven`t used a condom since I was a teen and there was no way I was going to reach orgasm with one on then so I know it ain`t happening now.

Your husband might have the same trouble.

Condoms suck.
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 11:57 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Browncoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,188
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riven View Post
Sometimes when we have sex my husband doesn't climax and he seems okay with it, he just says I got mine and that makes him happy... is this normal or an underlying issue?

I know it's been more frequent since we've been having to use condoms, so I don't know if it's just that it doesn't feel as good, or it takes him longer to get off?

I'd love to hear some guys input on this!
I don't think it's "normal", but I don't think it's as unusual as society makes it out to be.

I've walked away from sex w/o climax too many times to count.
It's not ideal, and frankly it bothers a part of me every time sex ends w/o me climaxing.

I've found in general though, that if I don't get off after a certain amount of time... I can last for hours (quite literally) and never climax (but remain completely erect and enjoying it).

It just gets ridiculous because my wife is no longer into it, and frankly I don't want to bore her... not to mention the fact that she's more than done and is loosing interest is a major turn off.

As for sensation causing part of the problem, yes it can for me. I've not used condoms since college, but I can assure you it definitely diminished sensitivity a TON. To the point where it became incredibly difficult for me to climax with a condom on (I think I've only managed to a handful of times... max). I know I'm irregular in this regard (else no one would use condoms), but I think it's just that orgasms don't come easily for me (compared to most guys I hear about)... never have.

I'll also say that after my wife climaxes 1-3 times her vagina seems to just relax and what friction I was getting before plummets to nothing. It's like having intercourse with a balloon filled with air... there's some feeling near the opening, but the rest is basically not there at all. While I enjoy just the act of sex enough to want to continue sometimes, other times I just pull out.
Browncoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 12:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
WorkingOnMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 3,213
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

I can't imagine doing this. Perhaps if I felt that my wife wasn't that into me or if she seemed to be performing duty/chore sex then I would try to get her off and then just stop. But assuming my wife is into it and seems to really want it, then I would always make sure to get mine. BTW, I'm 41 so maybe if a guy is a bit older it makes a difference.
WorkingOnMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 12:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Gaia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In a swamp!
Posts: 9,745
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

Weeeellll I wouldn't say condoms suck.... They do have the Fire and ice condoms.... and the his/her sensation ones... soooo if your gonna use a condom.. why not one that does a lil something? Just a suggestion... Also.. the ky his/her or ky intense is pretty interesting to use too....
Gaia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 12:08 PM   #13 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 20
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

This is something I'm working on. It just doesn't seem like we should be done unless we've both reached climax.

What my husband has explained to me it that he's reaching orgasm, but not ejaculating. Although I know there have been many times he hasn't even reached the o, and tells me he just wanted to make me feel great and satisfy me. I feel bad about it just about every time, but then he pulls me close and tells me he loves me.

I have to accept what he's telling me even though it doesn't seem to compute in my mind.
happymrs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 12:12 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,044
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gaia View Post
Weeeellll I wouldn't say condoms suck....
That`s because ya never had to wear one.
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2012, 12:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest, USA.
Posts: 213
Default Re: Men not getting theirs?

It happens frequently throughout the years of a man's life. Basically the normal thing. If he is okay, then be okay with it, too! When frustration on the man's part enters the picture, then there may be a need for further investigation, i.e. medicines, etc. Delayed orgasm or no orgasm is an issue most deal with at some point. It is the norm. As someone said, "This can lead to more frequent sex!" Enjoy! Smiles!!!
Ben Connedfussed is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:25 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage