Sexless period to "normal"

bagelboy · 03-20-2009, 09:37 AM

Anyone go from a period of having a sexless marriage to a place where things got better or really good or great?

It would be encouraging to know HOW you did it?

There are a lot of horror stories about sexless marriage here but not a lot of "success" stories. (at least in the searches Ive done)

MarkTwain · 03-20-2009, 12:05 PM

If it's the woman who goes of sex, it is more easily fixed in my opinion: Sexless Marraige?

justean · 03-20-2009, 03:30 PM

yes gone from good times , to bad times and good and now back again. im now in a position of ive told my H i dont want to be with him and to be honest in the past, once we kinda got out of the lull and back into the caring, loving stage - we had casual sex whilst split up and the fun came back and adventure.
at the moment im back to manual handling . but im not feeling emotional or physical for my H at the moment.
my H and i have for several reasons split up over the yrs and there are success stories.
alot of mine came back through communication , remaining friends and not being able to really let go at the time.
having space also contributed to us sortin our marriage out at the time.
im just back in the I dont give a sh** mode for him again.

bagelboy · 03-20-2009, 05:56 PM

But if you are now in a position of "Ive told him I dont want to be with him".....that would NOT be "success" to me.

Its sounds like things are not good.

Are you saying that you have had good times but now they are bad just to give an example that it CAN be good?

Personally, I dont know how we are going to get out of this rut.

We have a 14 and 12 year old.....splitting up doesnt seem to be an option right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by justean

yes gone from good times , to bad times and good and now back again. im now in a position of ive told my H i dont want to be with him and to be honest in the past, once we kinda got out of the lull and back into the caring, loving stage - we had casual sex whilst split up and the fun came back and adventure.
at the moment im back to manual handling . but im not feeling emotional or physical for my H at the moment.
my H and i have for several reasons split up over the yrs and there are success stories.
alot of mine came back through communication , remaining friends and not being able to really let go at the time.
having space also contributed to us sortin our marriage out at the time.
im just back in the I dont give a sh** mode for him again.

picabu · 03-20-2009, 07:19 PM

my husband considered himself to be in a sexless marriage even though we were still having sex 1-3 times a month.

bagelboy · 03-20-2009, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by picabu

my husband considered himself to be in a sexless marriage even though we were still having sex 1-3 times a month.

For me that WOULD be pretty close to sexless....

Cant get much closer.

justean · 03-21-2009, 04:59 AM

its not a success story at the moment. but it was a success story b 4 . relationships go up and down. it was a success when we sorted it out, now its just dimmed again.
at the point now, just fed up of trying.

humpty dumpty · 03-21-2009, 05:25 AM

Think the big question here is why has it stopped !
Our self live took a massive dive after my husbands affair , it took me a long time to respect him again and to stop asking myself what wasnt i doing for him.
That was 6 years ago, we took a long time to recover and it wasnt about blame it was about communicating our feelings.
Its takern me 6 years to make the first move in bed fear of rejection was a big fear of mine .
And for my husband he cant even put into words why ( or hes trying not to hurt me )
but people go of sexs for loads of reasons ,tirdness, hormones its igniting that fire again the more sex you have the more you want and crave .
Its a shame to waste a good sex life by just giving up ..much better to stick with it and find the cause and re ignite the passion

snix11 · 03-21-2009, 03:58 PM

My Husband thinks sex once a YEAR is sufficient. Talk about a sexless marriage!

revitalizedhusband · 03-23-2009, 08:22 AM

Quote:

my husband considered himself to be in a sexless marriage even though we were still having sex 1-3 times a month.

Sorry, but 1-3 times a month, for most men, is DARN CLOSE to sexless.

humpty dumpty · 03-23-2009, 11:26 AM

but whats normal ?

Mdcl33 · 03-23-2009, 11:50 AM

If you are not having sex at least once or twice per week, then there is probably something wrong with your marriage.

revitalizedhusband · 03-23-2009, 11:56 AM

Quote:

If you are not having sex at least once or twice per week, then there is probably something wrong with your marriage.

I can agree with that statement, even when we were not having sex nearly as often as we do now, it was still at least once or twice a week.

okeydokie · 03-23-2009, 12:28 PM

i'm in a 1-3 times a month situation now, and as a man, i am not happy, it isnt nearly enough

Mdcl33 · 03-23-2009, 12:33 PM

Have you told your wife that it isn't enough?
She needs to know that is not normal.