Sawney Beane

I wish I could offer a more positive view. The theory has it that as you gain competence, autonomy and relatedness through participation, you should become increasingly internally (intrinsically) motivated, to do something just because you like it.

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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal?
Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri?
I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...

Aristotle

I got too excited and replied too quickly without reading your original post completely. Yes, there are hormones in semen that make a woman feel better and can even affect their sex drive (testosterone). What's funnier is, the colon absorbs things much better than the vagina (oral -- not so much, because of stomach acids) so anal sex can create a huge boost in energy and sex drive. But most people would say that a woman who enjoys anal already has a huge sex drive. They'd probably be right.

Gay people are happy and love sex.

The colon is made to absorb, not so sure about the vaginal walls, although studies have shown that women who have sex without condoms tend to find boyfriends quicker after they breakup (addicted to semen). If semen was yucky, gross, nasty, and the world hated it, we would never have babies. The same as the vagina drives us wild and we love to feel it, there are things about men that women want, without ever knowing it. Semen is one of those things. I am not sure why that so many women deny this, maybe because it makes them feel less powerful, but our semen is made with addictive qualities (makes women feel good, makes them want more sex, and gives them an energy boost) to ensure we reproduce and have babies.

I've learned that posting this around some women really pisses them off though. They want to believe that they love semen because they love their man, otherwise it's gross. As a kid I thought a vagina was disgusting looking, like someone spit up chewed up bologne. However, as an adult, it's the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid my eyes on. There is a reason for that....

Suppressed

*Puts hand up*

My previous husband was very LD compared to me. We were together for 15 years, and the last 8 years of the marriage were totally sex free. "Sex isn't everything" he would say, which is true. However, he treated sex - and my concerns about our non-existant sex life - as nothing. Which isn't the same thing. With the lack of sex, that part of me just got switched off for many years.

Then I started working out at the gym, getting stronger, which led to me getting more confident, AND led me back to living more in my body. All those years I may as well have been a head in a jar, and then I rediscovered my body. Which meant that when I met my current partner I was raring to go. We're both fairly HD. And the sex was so, so good. Which led to more great sex.

And then I got sick, lost most of my left breast and put on some weight and his attraction to me all went to hell. But up to that point, great stuff.

Coffee Amore

Hell yeah! Great sex makes me think "When can we do it again?" In fact 9 times out of 10 after great sex, we talk about when we can do it again.

I really haven't had "bad" sex with hubby. A few times here and there over the years one or both of us were disconnected from the act for whatever reason, but the vast majority of the time he knows what to do, how to do it and when to do it so it's all good.

3leafclover

Yes, good sex makes me want more sex. Good sex also leads to increased frequency of masturbation for me. Increased frequency of masturbation leads to more sex (again, for me. I can't speak for others). It's like a positive feedback system. I think prolonged lack of sex for whatever reason can interrupt this system and cause potential problems getting it going again.

In the lesbian world we call it LBD, aka Lesbian Bed Death. It's a common problem when two women are in a longterm relationship. Thank God it's not one my partner and I currently have. We have had many upturns and downturns, though, and I definitely believe it IS a snowball effect.

waiwera

Absolutely. The more sex I have the more i want and the more often I masturbate.
The only time I was LD was when our kids were babies.. I wasn't even masturbating during that time. I quess my LD was hormonal.

Havesomethingtosay

Yep OP depressed me too..... Regardless of how good the sex is, it does not result in a palpable change in her desire (and yes I can push the right buttons and we are happy and have an okay sex life).

Sure maybe we do it again (blue moon) or the next day, but nothing sustained.

Pandakiss

its not a question of "good sex", but more sex i have, the more i want it.

if i get it 4/5 times a week, than i will want to give husband bjs, 3/4 maybe even 5 times.

it dosent take much to get it off track, more job hours, sick kids, maybe he just bought a new video game...

we arent sexless. its usually every other day...like monday, wed, maybe we skip friday, and make it up on sat.

but it can go to everyday, and a lot of times, oral in the morning [for him], than sex at nite. after 3 days like that, i will want it ALL the time..like to actually have sex twice a day...

never happens, with work ,and elementary school age kids..

but all this sex we are having has lead us to talk about getting a room somewhere, or other alternatives.

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ts umi ni oboreshi go no tama
i ppen shinde miru?

RandomDude

You make an impression on a woman of course she's going to keep coming back for more

7737

I'm with Browncoat on this....

For those of us in sexless marriages or married to women who cannot or won't see the importance of sex in a marriage, reading posts such as this, where couples are having good, fulfilling and regular sex....well it makes 'us' feel more despondent, jealous and...well, a bit sad to be honest.

heartsbeating

Let it inspire you to build that with your wife.

Be happy for the OP.

And recognize there can be ebbs and flows throughout relationships, in various areas, so I think many of us are in continual 'learning' mode. Whether we want to admit that or not.

As for me, when I have dark chocolate that just melts in my mouth in the most exquisite way, then I will crave it again later. Or the thought of it can make my mouth water. Same goes for sex. And the more I indulge, the more I will crave.

I'm a slave to my senses!

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"Victims; aren't we all" - The Crow

donny64

To you and Browncoat I would say this; I've been there. I decided I'd never live my life that way again. I made a commitment, from the start of this relationship to not allow it, or perhaps more importantly, FACILITATE it. I did / have done / am doing many things to make sure I'm doing my best to prevent this from happening. I laid the "ground rules" early on..."I won't live that kind of life again" type of thing. Not a threat, just a "mattter of fact" statement. I learned about sex, really learned, and how to please a woman. I always thought I was at least "decent" in bed. While that may have been true, the "decent lover" in my years past could not hold a candle to who I am now. Completely unselfish and entirely focused on her satisfaction. (There's a long story about ED about why that is so with me, but that's how I was / am). In return, I have complete reciprocity. She does not feel a need for there to be something in it for her to please me.

I change things up constantly and keep it "fresh" and exciting. And I know, KNOW, how to touch her and show her things she never experienced before. Because I made myself a "student" (if you will) of what feels good for a woman, even if a particular woman does not realize it herself or even believe she's "capable" of such things. Continue to show a woman she is in fact capable of things she "knows" she is not "capable of", and you'll quickly be branded as the "best lover of her life". You don't have to "hit" every time. In fact, one out of every 4 times is great! Show her something about her own capabilites she did not believe was possible, and nobody has done before, and you'll quickly hit "star status".

Understanding. Openness. Appreciation. A sincere desire to put her sexual desires, satisfaction, wants, and needs before my own. And so much more.

Again, I'm not sure how I'd deal with this in an already bad situation. But I don't suspect I'd treat it too greatly differently, knowing what I do now.

Guys, I have an incredible sex life with my W. I found this place not out of trying to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it, but rather out of trying to continue to educate myself on how to please her (and us), and avoid the pitfalls we've all experienced at some point in a relationship. I want to be "ahead" of this game. I "work" daily at trying to figure out ways to keep her happy. And not out of a sense of desperation, but rather knowing she deserves my very best, continued efforts to do so, because she seems to do so for me. It's the "snowball effect". You can have the bad snowball, where you try to lay blame and come up with reasons to justify being angry, of you can have the good snowball, where something is good and you want to continue that and try to build on it.

I do honestly believe guys, that had I not been the way I was with her, I'd be here singing your guys' tune. I've been there before and have done so. I desperately wanted to learn from my mistakes and not let it happen again. Will it or could it? Yes. Difference being is NOW I know I've done all I could. If that's not enough, I will quickly detach and walk away if she's not open to working out the issues, and will find someone who appreciates such efforts. And her knowledge that this is how I truly feel, I believe, does not hurt matters either. It's not a "threat", and I don't use it as such. It is just who I believe (and she believes) I am. Life is too freakin' short to be continually frustrated by / with the person you share your life with daily. I honestly can't, and won't, do it again. But you can bet your last dollar I WILL do my part. Most of the time that "part" is being an unselfish lover. Sometimes, however, it's being a guy who won't tolerate lack of effort or apperciation on her part. I know what I try to do and be. if she doesn't appreciate that, then her and I both can move on, and I will find someone who will.

jaquen

You can speak for me, because this is exactly how I am. I've got a high drive, but if I go without, it enables me to go without longer.

If I start the cycle, it begets more and more sexual activity until I've reached "enough"; more sex, more masturbation. How much is enough varies.

With my wife likewise great sex makes her crave more sex.

7737

Wifeofhusband - indeed...it affects both men and women. But I was speaking as a man....!

Havesomethingtosay

My wife says it is like sugar..... Once you get past that craving you have for it, you can easily go without......I look at her incredulously and unfortunately am scared she is serious.....