Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Feel free to tell your stories, list examples, ect.
Mine and I were looking at animal print dresses and he says this...
"If your going to get an animal print make sure it's realistic not that neon green or pink ****." At that point i started giggling then he goes on with.... "Seriously when is the last time you seen a pink leopard?" So I replied... "Never... but I have seen a pink panther." (Was referring to the cartoon and movies of course) He replies with... "Yeah I see one every time I go down on you." That caught me off guard of course lol and definitely made me blush! Of course he took advantage of that and then proceeded to "remind" me of the things we did when i was drunk...
My husband likes to bend me over and pretend to do me from behind. The expression on his face is neutral and looking away for comedic effect. Good thing we don't have kids-I bet there would be a lot of "What are you doing to mommy?" type questions.
My husband likes to bend me over and pretend to do me from behind. The expression on his face is neutral and looking away for comedic effect. Good thing we don't have kids-I bet there would be a lot of "What are you doing to mommy?" type questions.
omg my hubby does the same only he doesn't look away he has a **** eating grin on his face.. Thankfully he ONLY does it when the kids are in their room or sleeping.
Hubs did that last night as I was cleaning bath toys out of the tub Thank god I was holding on because I didn't see him approach from behind and I almost went head first into the tile wall.
Hubs did that last night as I was cleaning bath toys out of the tub Thank god I was holding on because I didn't see him approach from behind and I almost went head first into the tile wall.
My husband is loud and has no shame and has a thing for yoga pants.
We go for walks in a park with a ton of old people also walking, and we generally pass by and say hi...and then my husband goes right back to staring at my ass in yoga pants walking.
Um...here comes the blushing-
so one day, we are walking, he's staring and VERY LOUDLY says "I cannot wait for us to get home so you can sit on my face with those pants on with your hot ass,"
Right as one of the lovely pairs of old ladies walks up to us to coo at our baby.
He didn't stop though, he was totally zoned on my ass and decided to describe in detail what he loved about my ass, my ass after a walk and my ass in dance pants.
I can't even look at them anymore because the look of shock on their face was so great. I love that he loves my ass though, I can't complain.
My husband likes to bend me over and pretend to do me from behind. The expression on his face is neutral and looking away for comedic effect. Good thing we don't have kids-I bet there would be a lot of "What are you doing to mommy?" type questions.
My husband does this ALL the time. In the kitchen, bathroom... pretty much wherever. Usually, it's while the kids are at school, thank GOD! But sometimes, they are in the living room watching TV and I am fixing dinner in the kitchen. He will walk in and do that! Always facing away, so it's not like they can see/understand, but still!
Oh, and sometimes, he will walk up behind me, when I am bending over, picking things up off the floor. He then reaches between my legs and grabs my thighs. I am VERY ticklish and he knows it! But he doesn't stop there... sometimes he starts teasing thru my clothes, while I am bending over.
My husband does this ALL the time. In the kitchen, bathroom... pretty much wherever. Usually, it's while the kids are at school, thank GOD! But sometimes, they are in the living room watching TV and I am fixing dinner in the kitchen. He will walk in and do that! Always facing away, so it's not like they can see/understand, but still!
Oh, and sometimes, he will walk up behind me, when I am bending over, picking things up off the floor. He then reaches between my legs and grabs my thighs. I am VERY ticklish and he knows it! But he doesn't stop there... sometimes he starts teasing thru my clothes, while I am bending over.
We were at the mall and walked through JC Penney and looked at their interesting collection of lingerie. He stopped in front of a mannequin with a white corset and thong and in a serious voice says to me "You should put that on and walk out the store with it leaving your jeans and t shirt on the mannequin." He said it so serious and loud and a sales associate was nearby and heard. I had to get us out of there before she dared to follow us around in case we shoplifted or something. I just looked at my husband like WTF? He kills me sometimes.
Oh, there are times when we'll be having a conversation and he just looks at me and out of nowhere he says "I just feel like biting your ear (or whatever body part) real hard right now." Again, said with a serious face. He's so random.
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WTF!!! Things your spouse says..... 
Love it!
