Do it mad, sad, angry, bitter, upset, detached, enraged...just DO IT!
I was reminded today that it's so vitally important sometimes to just make love to your spouse, even if the emotional conditions aren't ideal.
My wife has been traveling a lot for work. Typically in the past I needed a little time to reacclimate myself to her presence if we've been apart for a long time. This comes from years prior to marriage living in a long distance relationship where some level of detachment was necessary in order to not be consistently miserable apart. I also sometimes take a minute to "thaw" with other loved ones. However this has gotten much better with time.
However my wife, after being gone for over a week, found herself surprisingly distant. It was a shock to her, as she's use to interacting with me with all walls down, heart and mind fully open. And then I ended up doing something that totally unintentionally upset her, and held on to it through the night into this morning, which in turn pissed me off. So here there is distance, a feeling of disconnection, and now her hurt, and me upset. Not a pretty sight for our first night together after a stretch.
We don't fight, we "discuss" (my wife is not a fighter at all). Things were a tense, there was some friction. She started to soften up, made some sexual advances, and my attitude was that she had some nerve after getting all butt hurt and grudgey over something that ultimately was pretty petty. I said to her "you sure have some balls", put up some resistance because I wanted to hold on to it, but she laughed that off and took me anyway, even with some stuff lingering in the air. We had mind blowing sex.
What I noted was that all the issues we'd been having just melted away afterward. Instantly we were just back to where we were before, bonded, intimate, playful, and open. It reminded me of all the posts I've read on here about people waiting to have sex until both are feeling free to do so, or all the issues are aired, or after they've talked about 1000 things.
Just don't forget, please, that sex is communication as much, if not more so, than it is pleasure. There is a time for talk, but sometimes even as you two are going through, have some friction, might feel miles apart, falling into each other sexually might build a solid bridge back to each other that is exactly what you needed to go the distance.