05-20-2012, 06:37 AM
Join Date: May 2012
| | No affection, no intinacy, huggs or kisses
I don't even know where to start. Like so many of you, I also have the same feelings.
We have been married over 12 years have 2 beautiful daughters. I am 50 weigh in about 200lb and she is 40 and about 240lbs – she is beautiful to me and attracted to me.
We use to live in the UK and moved to the Caribbean where both of us want to be. I thought this would help our relationship get even closer.
I am the sole worker and provide well for my family. I love my wife so very much and I know she loves me (I think). But like most of the posts the affection is just not there. Whenever we talk she always turns it around and I seem to be the one to get the blame. She says it's because of the things I do, then she says she's just not that kind, yet I see her show affection to many different people and family where ever we go.
I must admit (not like most posts) sex is great with us and we do have it often. I know how to satisfy her. But I still have to be the one to initiate it.
I tried looking online for questions I had regarding my relationship. I never realized how many other husbands are in the same situation. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, and kisses, holding hands, touching etc. or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me.
I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I do the washing of dishes and keeping the house clean, not as a chore but because I enjoy it and want to take the stress from her. It seems that this will never end. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. I am at a loss as to what I should do. I sometimes feel that she only wants me around because I provide well for the family.
One post above resonates with me a little. My wife was abused when she was a child (by her father – the bas%^$rd). I do agree and believe that this has a lot to do with it. Unfortunately in that post there was not a resolution that I could run with. I agree that many women in this situation have had some form of abuse or other.
Now all she does is read online romance books which I know turn her on.
As a Christian, divorce is not an option. Praying however is a key thing to do (also fasting). But the road is long and all I can say is never give up.
Again like most posts I get the sense of a little satisfaction knowing that there are many others out there in the same bracket as I am. Please guys don’t give up. My wife is lying here next to me right now asleep. I am going to try again with her simply because I read this blog.
It would be good to hear from some women who are reading this and see if they can help. Maybe you are a woman who was abused and has a husband who is begging for affection. Why not open up and write your feelings – it may help some of us frustrated guys out here writing in at all odd times of the night.