Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My W enjoys our sex and we often try new things. On occasions we have tried anal but never really gone the full nine yards until last month. We tried again and really was enjoying it, I managed to cum inside of her but the condom had split.
The following week a bump came up on her perineum. When she checked it out at the Dr she was told it is genital herpes.
We have been married for over 12 years and I have been completely faithfull. She tells me that she is faithful too and I have no reason not to believe her.
But how can this be genital herpes? Neither of us have had this before.
Yes we have both had a past life with many partners each before we met. But since we met over 14 years now we have both settled down.
Now she is so frustrated about it I am afraid to attempt anal anymore - should we try again?
Did you normally wear a condom for BC? Have you been checked?
AFAIK, herpes can lie dormant for extended periods. Maybe you should both sit down with a doctor and get your questions answered. Around here, there are free STI clinics, and the staff there are well versed in all things related. And you can go anonymously, which might be a factor for you.
Where both of you virgins when you got married? If not, then one or both of you can be carriers for many, many years before symptoms show up. Herpes is one of those pesky skin to skin contact STD's that can still be transmitted even with a condom on.
My W enjoys our sex and we often try new things. On occasions we have tried anal but never really gone the full nine yards until last month. We tried again and really was enjoying it, I managed to cum inside of her but the condom had split.
The following week a bump came up on her perineum. When she checked it out at the Dr she was told it is genital herpes.
We have been married for over 12 years and I have been completely faithfull. She tells me that she is faithful too and I have no reason not to believe her.
But how can this be genital herpes? Neither of us have had this before.
Yes we have both had a past life with many partners each before we met. But since we met over 14 years now we have both settled down.
Now she is so frustrated about it I am afraid to attempt anal anymore - should we try again?
Doctor is wrong (if there is no history of infidelity, which you don't indicate one way or the other) - it's called a Bartholin's cyst. Women in their mid 30s and up are prone to these cysts in the vaginal/anal/perineum region. Particularly if the woman has had multiple births (though not necessarily a cause, women who have not given birth can experience this phenomena as well).
I suffer from them myself (5 kids, turning 33 in June). They are HORRIBLE, painful and humiliating at times. Also get a colon check, bumps like that in that area can be caused by colon cancer (sorry about the C word).
Doctor is wrong (if there is no history of infidelity, which you don't indicate one way or the other) - it's called a Bartholin's cyst. Women in their mid 30s and up are prone to these cysts in the vaginal/anal/perineum region. Particularly if the woman has had multiple births (though not necessarily a cause, women who have not given birth can experience this phenomena as well).
I suffer from them myself (5 kids, turning 33 in June). They are HORRIBLE, painful and humiliating at times. Also get a colon check, bumps like that in that area can be caused by colon cancer (sorry about the C word).
this seems more logical, I think a 2nd opinion is in order
which is why I give it a 1% chance of her not, it is extremely rare for herpes to surface after 12+ years
No it's not rare. I went 8 years symptom free from cold sores then they started cropping back up again - once a month I might add, though I did have cold sores prior to the 8 year "silence".
However, HPV or human papillioma virus can crop up in the form of genital warts and cervical cancer, depending on which strain of virus, years and years later. Most HPV infections in women actually self resolve with absolutely NO symptoms whatsoever! Most women have had HPV without even knowing they did.
Nope. You can go decades without an outbreak. Its very possible to have herpies for years and years and never know it.
OP, did she actually test positive or did the Doc just say what he thinks it looks like? She may even have had previous outbreaks and dismissed them as other things like hemorrhoids.
6Likes
Anal - now genital herpes - how? 
